tips to counter survival instict

[sick.faery]

i have my method ready and everything, i know perfectly how to do it well, i have the time and i wont be caught, but time is ticking before my "due date' and i always find myself forgetting about my plans or being too lazy/tired/scared to do it when i planned to go ahead with it. any tips on how to go beyond that?

 

[BLEH:3]

dont recommend but drugs, a 5-6 week ketamine bender with a day pause every week made me go feral and do attempt partial hanging with little to none SI