Help Tips for just getting out there and doing what i must?

[parader]

As the title says, my anxiety is so crippling i want so much to do the things i have to do, attend the classes i need to attend
but can't seem to find a way to even convince myself to step out of the door and that makes me feel even more depressed and worthless
i'm on medication but it doesn't help a lot, benzos just make me wanna stay in bed all day but the anxiety remains
does anyone know something that might help me overcome this?

 

[Roseate]

Hey, I messaged you a tip that works for me

 

[charlotte_]

Sorry, I don't know any paticular tips. But this might be a good way to think about it if you want to feel less anxious of people (I assume that's why you feel anxious, srry if it's not the case). You are just one of the many people in your class, or in society, your actions won't matter to anyone as much as you think they do. Even if you mess up something, it will be only for a brief moment, and soon it will vanish in their minds. Everyone have their own businesses to worry about too. Others are concious of their actions, and also working on not to mess them up. They have more important things to think about. And last thing, there's nothing wrong with making mistakes. Everyone does at some point, and it's really is just natural human behaviours. Don't be afraid to allow yourself to be wrong, it is just a part of the human experience. It is totally normal, and a fundamental part for us all to grow :)
Sorry I really don't know how to word this, but I hope you can get something out. Best wishes!

 

[parader]

Sorry, I don't know any paticular tips. But this might be a good way to think about it if you want to feel less anxious of people (I assume that's why you feel anxious, srry if it's not the case). You are just one of the many people in your class, or in society, your actions won't matter to anyone as much as you think they do. Even if you mess up something, it will be only for a brief moment, and soon it will vanish in their minds. Everyone have their own businesses to worry about too. Others are concious of their actions, and also working on not to mess them up. They have more important things to think about. And last thing, there's nothing wrong with making mistakes. Everyone does at some point, and it's really is just natural human behaviours. Don't be afraid to allow yourself to be wrong, it is just a part of the human experience. It is totally normal, and a fundamental part for us all to grow :)
Sorry I really don't know how to word this, but I hope you can get something out. Best wishes!

ty so much for this and it's so so true <3
people are part of what makes me anxious, i talk a lot and make them talk a lot, when i need to meet someone new in class or anything i talk about things i like and ask them about things they like and make a great effort to seem interested in everything they say. i hate awkward silences more than anything, so i just keep the conversation going. people seem to like it, they laugh, i laugh, i make random compliments on how organized they are or how nice their handwriting is, it seems ok at the time i can even say i enjoy it because i used to be so extroverted when i was younger and i miss it so much. but after i get home and am on my own again i just keep overthinking everything i said and how annoying it must have been, how grateful they must be that the day is finally over and they don't have to put up with me anymore.

but you're so right, i know i'm the only one who overthinks it so much. they might have even liked the conversation as far as i know, every now and then someone i've just met a week before asks me if i want to grab lunch together before class and stuff like that. i'm the only one who beats myself so much over it every time. :'')

 

[Stylite]

I don't know but I let it all build up the pressure in my heart until it bursts out and spills over and I have no option but to do it. Maybe try doing that mentally. Try imagining the worst case scenario, try imagining things that will place you into a situation where doing what needs to be done is less stressful than ignoring it, because for me, I ignore what's pivotal because the act of doing is stressful for a variety of reasons- sometimes it's more stressful to ignore. Try to make it like that, maybe.

 

[parader]

I don't know but I let it all build up the pressure in my heart until it bursts out and spills over and I have no option but to do it. Maybe try doing that mentally. Try imagining the worst case scenario, try imagining things that will place you into a situation where doing what needs to be done is less stressful than ignoring it, because for me, I ignore what's pivotal because the act of doing is stressful for a variety of reasons- sometimes it's more stressful to ignore. Try to make it like that, maybe.

i might try this, because i know that whenever i fail my responsabilities i feel so so bad afterwards
it's always a downward spiral from there on until i can get another chance
and even then, everytime it gets harder to come back and get well again, rinse and repeat
when i'm really really anxious it doesn't help much knowing that it will be worse if i don't do it, i just can't do it either way it's crippling
but if i'm just a little anxious and can keep the routine flowing maybe this mindset can help me to keep pushing one day at a time until it's not so scary anymore

 

[Stylite]

i might try this, because i know that whenever i fail my responsabilities i feel so so bad afterwards
it's always a downward spiral from there on until i can get another chance
and even then, everytime it gets harder to come back and get well again, rinse and repeat
when i'm really really anxious it doesn't help much knowing that it will be worse if i don't do it, i just can't do it either way it's crippling
but if i'm just a little anxious and can keep the routine flowing maybe this mindset can help me to keep pushing one day at a time until it's not so scary anymore

If it's any help, then think about this for a moment: Ty Cobb, a legendary MLB center fielder that played from 1905 to 1928, widely thought of as one of the top 3 best baseball players in all of history, had a batting average of .366. What does that mean? That means that he would hit a ball 36.6% of the time. To this day, nobody has a higher batting average than him.

That's impressive, right? But, you see, this means that he misses 63.4% of the time. When he gets up on the field with a bat in his hands, facing down a pitcher, it's more likely for him to mess up than hit the ball. Way more likely to fail, than to even succeed. And he's considered one of the best of the best.

The objective truth is that failing is inevitable, and is a process to winning. You're your only spectator too, and so is everyone else their own only spectator. Only you see how many times you swing and miss, how many times you flop and fail terribly. People are born with talent, yes, but talent is like a strong bar of steel- it has to be honed, sharpened, its edge must be ground for it to cut well. You need to fail to succeed.

Still, this won't stop either you nor I from being afraid of rejection, failure, so on. Maybe it'll ease the worry, but only by failing and eventually succeeding and acquiring true confidence will you conquer your fears. Life's a game you just might fail, and that's why winning is worthwhile. Who would play a game where you can't ever lose? There's got to be stakes for there to be any real merit to it. Keep in mind though that I'm not even 1% of the way through to that "goal", if that's even my goal, and I'm mostly talking out of my mind. Best of luck.

 

[parader]

If it's any help, then think about this for a moment: Ty Cobb, a legendary MLB center fielder that played from 1905 to 1928, widely thought of as one of the top 3 best baseball players in all of history, had a batting average of .366. What does that mean? That means that he would hit a ball 36.6% of the time. To this day, nobody has a higher batting average than him.

That's impressive, right? But, you see, this means that he misses 63.4% of the time. When he gets up on the field with a bat in his hands, facing down a pitcher, it's more likely for him to mess up than hit the ball. Way more likely to fail, than to even succeed. And he's considered one of the best of the best.

The objective truth is that failing is inevitable, and is a process to winning. You're your only spectator too, and so is everyone else their own only spectator. Only you see how many times you swing and miss, how many times you flop and fail terribly. People are born with talent, yes, but talent is like a strong bar of steel- it has to be honed, sharpened, its edge must be ground for it to cut well. You need to fail to succeed.

Still, this won't stop either you nor I from being afraid of rejection, failure, so on. Maybe it'll ease the worry, but only by failing and eventually succeeding and acquiring true confidence will you conquer your fears. Life's a game you just might fail, and that's why winning is worthwhile. Who would play a game where you can't ever lose? There's got to be stakes for there to be any real merit to it. Keep in mind though that I'm not even 1% of the way through to that "goal", if that's even my goal, and I'm mostly talking out of my mind. Best of luck.

that's was actually a great read omg, i like baseball quite a bit but i don't understand most of the technical details, the analogy was just spot-on
i've yet got to learn how to handle failure, but i'm sure once i get a little more comfortable with it will do so much for my wellbeing
i know i can really enjoy things in life if only i worry a little less, thank you so much for taking the time and cheer me up

 

[charlotte_]

that is totally right! it seems like you've realized your answer. it is just your brain that's playing tricks on you to stop you from doing whatever you want. but i believe you've got this, and i wish you the best in your journey!

 

[dingokettle3531]

What's helped me a lot is not think about things just act, that way I've lost fear over time

 

[norwegianbuttercris]

As the title says, my anxiety is so crippling i want so much to do the things i have to do, attend the classes i need to attend
but can't seem to find a way to even convince myself to step out of the door and that makes me feel even more depressed and worthless
i'm on medication but it doesn't help a lot, benzos just make me wanna stay in bed all day but the anxiety remains
does anyone know something that might help me overcome this?

For me it was little steps, I would only leave the house when I knew there wouldn't be many people around. Like going on a walk at night or first thing in the morning, just to get out of the house. I just had to build up my confidence to do little things like go to a check out at the store that had a server instead of a self-check out. You just have to be patient with yourself and do little steps!
Sorry its not the best advice but i'm wishing you the best of luck

 

[parader]

What's helped me a lot is not think about things just act, that way I've lost fear over time

this works so much for some people like my s/o, that's what helps them too! i'm trying to learn how to do it, it would help me stick to everyday life and even do some workout routine as well :)

For me it was little steps, I would only leave the house when I knew there wouldn't be many people around. Like going on a walk at night or first thing in the morning, just to get out of the house. I just had to build up my confidence to do little things like go to a check out at the store that had a server instead of a self-check out. You just have to be patient with yourself and do little steps!
Sorry its not the best advice but i'm wishing you the best of luck

maybe it should give this a try because i only leave the house when i absolutely have to, and it's such a stress because there's all the pressure that comes along with it
thank you for the wishes, the words were so comforting

 

[dingokettle3531]

this works so much for some people like my s/o, that's what helps them too! i'm trying to learn how to do it, it would help me stick to everyday life and even do some workout routine as well :)



maybe it should give this a try because i only leave the house when i absolutely have to, and it's such a stress because there's all the pressure that comes along with it
thank you for the wishes, the words were so comforting

Yeah not thinking and just acting is hard to learn but once you get to it, it's awesome, a lot of stuff I would take a long time thinking about with a lot of anxiety before doing now I can do instantly or at least fast enough because I simply don't care what people will think about me. Shoot first, ask questions later basically