Time to stop sitting on the fence

[Darknessallaround]

So MH team are 'concerned', but their words don't match their actions as CPN has just reduced welfare phone calls down to once a month. If I'm not able to engage with therapy I'll likely be discharged altogether, despite suicide risk being high.

I've just placed order for SN, figure if it doesn't arrive, I haven't lost much money. Only problem will be getting it into the house without partner seeing it first.
At the moment I'm ambivalent about ctb, but at least if I have method to hand, I can make that choice rather than being desperate to ctb and not having the means available.

 

[LonelyDude15]

I've found that having an option available relieves alot of stress in of itself

 

[Meditation guide]

It's a beautiful feeling to at least have some way on hand if or when I need it. I don't plan on using it any time soon but there may come a time when the pain leaves me no choice.

This is the fault of the medical profession failing me. I place the blame squarely where it belongs. They have pain meds such as fentenal patches which would make it so I could live normally but won't give them to me.