Venting Time is running out for me

[NegevChina]

My power is running out. Each day that goes by my physical and mental situation is getting worse. People cant stand my existence or proximity. I lost my job due to internal medical issue that made me unable to work due to severe pain and discomfort. This added up to an orthopedic issue I've been struggling with for the past 7 years that made my life hell. Both issues were dismissed by the medical system in my country as non critical. On top of that social anxiety and post trauma (CPTSD) from childhood events aren't letting go. I want to be remembered as a good man and not as a burden. I'm thinking of jumping 9th floor and tying a small umbrella to my foot so the air forces it up to make me fall head first to not fail the attempt. But don't want to traumatize residents of the building. Thought of CO in the car but chances of failing are to high. best would be if I had a way to drown, easiest for my family but SI is to strong to fight in this method. I don't know what I can do. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for the past few years but I'm not getting better. Running out of money. No body likes losers. Want to die soon to keep my dignity its the only thing left for me but starting to be impossible to maintain.

 

[KillingPain267]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. The umbrella might slow down the fall. How about weights around the neck? Just my thoughts

 

[NegevChina]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. The umbrella might slow down the fall. How about weights around the neck? Just my thoughts

Thanks! weights around my neck wont generate a force down to make my head go faster. It will fall at the speed of my neck. but will defiantly cause damage to my neck.

 

[justpathetic]

My power is running out. Each day that goes by my physical and mental situation is getting worse. People cant stand my existence or proximity. I lost my job due to internal medical issue that made me unable to work due to severe pain and discomfort. This added up to an orthopedic issue I've been struggling with for the past 7 years that made my life hell. Both issues were dismissed by the medical system in my country as non critical. On top of that social anxiety and post trauma (CPTSD) from childhood events aren't letting go. I want to be remembered as a good man and not as a burden. I'm thinking of jumping 9th floor and tying a small umbrella to my foot so the air forces it up to make me fall head first to not fail the attempt. But don't want to traumatize residents of the building. Thought of CO in the car but chances of failing are to high. best would be if I had a way to drown, easiest for my family but SI is to strong to fight in this method. I don't know what I can do. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for the past few years but I'm not getting better. Running out of money. No body likes losers. Want to die soon to keep my dignity its the only thing left for me but starting to be impossible to maintain.

I am so sorry this is your situation. You really seem like a good person. I hope you find your solution and peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, to me existence really is so cruel, but anyway I hope that you find peace from all the suffering.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I understand wanting to die while still having dignity. I'm not sure about the umbrella thing. I do know there was a member here that jumped from 7 stories and survived but had to get one leg amputated at the hip. I believe they ctb'd successfully with the SN method. I've also seen some pics of jumpers and it ain't pretty. I personally wouldn't want to traumatize others in that way nor experience that kind of damage in my last moment. It's really a tough decision especially considering the lack of peaceful methods.

 

[NegevChina]

I understand wanting to die while still having dignity. I'm not sure about the umbrella thing. I do know there was a member here that jumped from 7 stories and survived but had to get one leg amputated at the hip. I believe they ctb'd successfully with the SN method. I've also seen some pics of jumpers and it ain't pretty. I personally wouldn't want to traumatize others in that way nor experience that kind of damage in my last moment. It's really a tough decision especially considering the lack of peaceful methods.

SN is impossible to get where I live and any way my digestion system is so damaged it probably wont absorb SN. There is only brutal methods or CO for me but I got to have something reliable I cant afford to fail. CO in car using charcoal seems more like a gamble.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

SN is impossible to get where I live and any way my digestion system is so damaged it probably wont absorb SN. There is only brutal methods or CO for me but I got to have something reliable I cant afford to fail. CO in car using charcoal seems more like a gamble.

I've looked into the CO method. To me it's viable as long as enough prep is done and privacy can be assured.

 

[NegevChina]

I've looked into the CO method. To me it's viable as long as enough prep is done and privacy can be assured.

I've managed to get a CO detector that can detect up to 5000ppm. could that help in a car?

 

[justpathetic]

I've managed to get a CO detector that can detect up to 5000ppm. could that help in a car?

Probably it'll at least let you know of it's at a lethal level. The problem is it's a bigger space and hard to seal.

 

[NegevChina]

Probably it'll at least let you know of it's at a lethal level. The problem is it's a bigger space and hard to seal.

I have no other option except for maybe a tent but that seems impossible to seal.

 

[justpathetic]

I have no other option except for maybe a tent but that seems impossible to seal.

Most tents are waterproof so I take they may actually be easier. If not there's waterproof spray. Have you looked at co methods? I know I've seen some about tents and charcoal.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Time never runs out. Time is infinite. How much longer we want to spend that time suffering through life on this disgusting, meaningless planet is the question we need to ask ourselves.

 

[NegevChina]

Most tents are waterproof so I take they may actually be easier. If not there's waterproof spray. Have you looked at co methods? I know I've seen some about tents and charcoal.

I've looked at CO methods and tents looked to complicated for me. I need time alone and always thought a car is my best chance for not being disturbed for the longest time, thats about 1 AM leave home and possibly 10 AM might be found in the car. I'll try to read again though to see if a tent is doable. I live near the see and can get a tent up on the sandy beach. may be very windy at night cause CO to leak.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I've managed to get a CO detector that can detect up to 5000ppm. could that help in a car?

It's been awhile since I read up on the method. There are some posts where people get into all the math to calculate the cubic volume of a car and how much charcoal is needed and the ppm for various states and time frames to go unconscious. The magic of the method is to get the CO2 high enough to just take a few breaths before losing consciousness otherwise there will be headaches, nausea etc. I think the goal is getting over 10,000 ppm but less will work over a longer time. The thing with a car is that you have to open the door to test it which will create a suction and waft a bunch of it out. Brain damage from hypoxia and being a vegetable is to price to pay for failure with this method. Doing it in a car has risks for intervention.

 

[justpathetic]

I've looked at CO methods and tents looked to complicated for me. I need time alone and always thought a car is my best chance for not being disturbed for the longest time, thats about 1 AM leave home and possibly 10 AM might be found in the car. I'll try to read again though to see if a tent is doable. I live near the see and can get a tent up on the sandy beach. may be very windy at night cause CO to leak.

Possibly but if there are bluffs or vliffs you could kind of use to protect your tent might not be bad. Also check weather and pick a calmer time. From what I've see a decent water proof tent maybe waterproof spray and some duct tape for the seams and door. Plus of course fire. Good luck

 

[justpathetic]

Check this out if you want might help.

Carbon monoxide

Large pan + charcoal. in your opinion, what is the best way to burn this, considering it's in the bathroom? is it enough to light it and let it burn or does it need to burn continuously?

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Possibly but if there are bluffs or vliffs you could kind of use to protect your tent might not be bad. Also check weather and pick a calmer time. From what I've see a decent water proof tent maybe waterproof spray and some duct tape for the seams and door. Plus of course fire. Good luck

I'm very cautions about the tent method. I would think most tents have a breathability factor so people don't asphyxiate by accident. Are there any success stories? Maybe a test run burning incense in the tent to visibly see if the smoke comes out?

 

[justpathetic]

I'm very cautions about the tent method. I would think most tents have a breathability factor so people don't asphyxiate by accident. Are there any success stories? Maybe a test run burning incense in the tent to visibly see if the smoke comes out?

I haven't researched it my self check the link. Tents that are waterproof have low breathability by nature. The point I think is the co is more than what leaks out. Also you seal the seams and door which you don't normally do.