Discussion thoughts on watching people ctb

[dinosavr]

For a couple of weeks I've been aware such videos are easily available online. I wouldn't say I enjoy watching them. At the end of the day I believe death is a private thing and uploading those videos maybe isn't the best for the family or friends or whoever who's grieving or is traumatized. Especially when the person who died didn't record it but someone else did.
BUT- there's a part of me who's completely fine with watching them and wants to do it.

What do you think? Is it okay to watch people commit suicide? And why/why not?

 

[zel]

They're not here to complain, and what's the harm? Presumably we're watching it for instructional purposes to ensure that things don't go horrendously wrong in a failed attempt, rather than watching for personal gratification. Thus, I say go for it!

 

[rozeske]

As long as you are watching it to get educational info to help with your ctb (or research) and not for the purpose of some sort of sick twisted gratification, I don't see any harm in it. And most of them are self recorded so they already know it will be watched by all sorts of people. But as for their families you are right it would be an awful thing that they will go through on top of their grief. I personally never understand how the idea occurs to live stream your ctb. It would be the last thing on my mind at that time.

 

[Mayonaise]

Rule of thumb is, as long as you don't hurt others, you're free to do whatever you like to. Pretty obvious.
I only watched one suicide video, it was a notorious American politician who shot himself during a news conference.
I watched it with coworkers out of morbid curiosity.

I'm not a shrink and don't want to be one, but you probably enjoy those videos because they make you feel something like "if they did it, I can too".
If this is the case, I 100% understand you, a part of me finds solace when reading goodbye posts for the same reason.
The other part of me is desperately sad though, as in the case of a very recent demise.
This doesn't make you a sadist, you're just a human being who's in pain. Just my opinion though

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable if one is watching it for research purposes to help prepare them for the chosen method.

 

[dinosavr]

Presumably we're watching it for instructional purposes to ensure that things don't go horrendously wrong in a failed attempt, rather than watching for personal gratification. Thus, I say go for it!

As long as you are watching it to get educational info to help with your ctb (or research) and not for the purpose of some sort of sick twisted gratification, I don't see any harm in it. And most of them are self recorded so they already know it will be watched by all sorts of people.

It's understandable if one is watching it for research purposes to help prepare them for the chosen method.

Well, the thing is I never got to see any video of my chosen method sooooo it's not necessarily for educational purposes. I have no idea what purpose I have though. I just happened to have come across a site with videos of this sort and something (not idea what) drags me back there every now and then.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

There's no feelings? i guess that come on when I watch it. Maybe i've been desensitized as I mean, its not exactly something youre not exposed to. Like in the news and stuff, even if they do blur out some of the details, it's..kinda telling anyway from the footage.
Mostly, like everyone said, I've reached that point when I automatically look for the maths side of it while it happens. Like for example, dude jumps off a building. I take in the number of floors between the person and the ground, and what part hit first.

 

[Forever Sleep]

So long as they gave their permission- then- it's fine. Maybe they wanted to help others in showing the process. If not though then, it does seem invasive really. I've only seen ones in clinics.

 

[dinosavr]

There's no feelings? i guess that come on when I watch it. Maybe i've been desensitized as I mean, its not exactly something youre not exposed to. Like in the news and stuff, even if they do blur out some of the details, it's..kinda telling anyway from the footage.
Mostly, like everyone said, I've reached that point when I automatically look for the maths side of it while it happens. Like for example, dude jumps off a building. I take in the number of floors between the person and the ground, and what part hit first.

Oh yeah I feel you. Also, these are the people I don't know so why would I care, right?
Even though I think it's due to becoming desensitized because I used to be disturbed by stuff like that

So long as they gave their permission- then- it's fine. Maybe they wanted to help others in showing the process. If not though then, it does seem invasive really. I've only seen ones in clinics.

Unfortunately a big amount of these vids is from people who recorded jumpers etc

 

[rozeske]

Well, the thing is I never got to see any video of my chosen method sooooo it's not necessarily for educational purposes. I have no idea what purpose I have though. I just happened to have come across a site with videos of this sort and something (not idea what) drags me back there every now and then.

Since you are planning on CTBing yourself, it could be your mind's way of preparing or kind of soothing it self on the idea of death and dying in general.

 

[Abyssal]

I hate it. The world is cruel already why would I want to remind myself of just how horrible it can be.
I used to think "eh who cares if someone watches it" but then I met someone on here who's loved one streamed their suicide and saw how it destroyed them.

One look at the replies and it's kinda clear people aren't watching these videos and thinking about the persons loved one or the pain they must've been experiencing. Sure it can help to educate, but I don't know if I like that way of taking suicide at face value. That person existed, suffered, left behind people in many cases, perhaps destroyed the lives of others who loved them because of the severity of their pain. You don't see it, but that has happened. And you are watching the worst point in their life and taking it all for granted.

I think my opinion is clear.

 

[exiled]

this might be an unpopular opinion on a suicide forum, but i think it is absolutely diabolical to purposely watch people ctb. i understand that some might use the defense of "research" but there are other sources to turn to for an instructional/"how to" so to speak. you do not need to watch someone live streaming their death in order to achieve that. honestly, people who document how they're feeling here even feels like a vulnerable moment for me to be a part of, but it is of course much less invasive.

i understand that people out there who live stream something like that are inviting others to be in that "sacred moment" with them. or that some might record it so that others can find it and feel the gruesome effects of what they felt in their final moments. i'm sorry, but i truly believe that when people are in their last stages of life - especially through ctb - they are at their most vulnerable. consent doesn't really mean anything at that point; they aren't really of complete "sober mind" if that makes sense. one can argue that people might think clearest moments before their ctb, but it's probably not the majority. it would feel like the equivalent of receiving sexual consent from someone while they are drunk. in the end, it isn't right. even if "consent" was given.

if there was something the suicidal person wanted you to know or witness, it would be in a letter or another form of a message. it is so distasteful and disrespectful to sit back on your comfortable little chair with your bougie macbook pro and a snack with a video on of someone ending their life. like... i'm sorry, but how?!

if someone finds any sort of PLEASURE in it, i think it is bordering (if not fully) psychopathic behavior and i would urge that person to seek immediate help.

 

[dinosavr]

I hate it. The world is cruel already why would I want to remind myself of just how horrible it can be.
I used to think "eh who cares if someone watches it" but then I met someone on here who's loved one streamed their suicide and saw how it destroyed them.

One look at the replies and it's kinda clear people aren't watching these videos and thinking about the persons loved one or the pain they must've been experiencing. Sure it can help to educate, but I don't know if I like that way of taking suicide at face value. That person existed, suffered, left behind people in many cases, perhaps destroyed the lives of others who loved them because of the severity of their pain. You don't see it, but that has happened. And you are watching the worst point in their life and taking it all for granted.

I think my opinion is clear.

It's really clear and I really appreciate you sharing it. It's a valuable perspective and I think it might be able to change mine. I guess that was kind of the reason why I posted this thread. I guess I just stopped considering death as something really serious. Basically probably the most serious thing for most people.
I'll definitely think it over. Thank you

this might be an unpopular opinion on a suicide forum, but i think it is absolutely diabolical to purposely watch people ctb. i understand that some might use the defense of "research" but there are other sources to turn to for an instructional/"how to" so to speak. you do not need to watch someone live streaming their death in order to achieve that. honestly, people who document how they're feeling here even feels like a vulnerable moment for me to be a part of, but it is of course much less invasive.

i understand that people out there who live stream something like that are inviting others to be in that "sacred moment" with them. or that some might record it so that others can find it and feel the gruesome effects of what they felt in their final moments. i'm sorry, but i truly believe that when people are in their last stages of life - especially through ctb - they are at their most vulnerable. consent doesn't really mean anything at that point; they aren't really of complete "sober mind" if that makes sense. one can argue that people might think clearest moments before their ctb, but it's probably not the majority. it would feel like to equivalent of receiving sexual consent from someone while they are drunk. in the end, it isn't right. even if "consent" was given.

if there was something the suicidal person wanted you to know or witness, it would be in a letter or another form of a message. it is so distasteful and disrespectful to sit back on your comfortable little chair with your bougie macbook pro and a snack with a video on of someone ending their life. like... i'm sorry, but how?!

if someone finds any sort of PLEASURE in it, i think it is bordering (if not fully) psychopathic behavior and i would urge that person to seek immediate help.

Well, same thing here. Thank you for being honest and I don't know, maybe I'll even have the guts to mention that on therapy.

 

[Pg.964]

From my viewpoint, if it's something like a livestream, that person wanted to be seen, and you saw it. I don't spend much time thinking about the morality of these things because I believe neither party did something bad, presuming you're not watching this type of content for pleasure. It's probably not good for mental health though

 

[Abyssal]

@dinosavr My reply was strongly worded, sorry if it sounded like an attack on you or anything. Ultimately I disagree with it but it's not like you watching videos of people dying does any more harm to the person who ctb. My opinion is but an opinion, live your life however you want.

 

[exiled]

one thing i really admire about you is your open mindedness to another perspective! i think it could be really important and informative to explore this in therapy, if of course you have a therapist you trust. there might be something deeper to it if you truly have watched videos as such. i don't think it makes you this vile person, but i think it speaks volumes to the level of pain you are feeling. i sympathize with you, and i realize my last post comes across a little more harsh than understanding. i know the depth of the pain that comes with numbing out to the idea of death and what it even means; to lose yourself in this absolutely dizzying life. but i think this method of coping is definitely something to dive into. there is hope for you, and if you end up choosing recovery, i'm rooting for you.

please take care + be kind to yourself today.

 

[beelzebul]

My thought process is this: if someone has recorded their intentional death, they wanted to be seen. In that sense, it's okay to watch them respectfully.

I don't really look at those or gore videos anymore. When I was on meds that were killing my emotions, I could watch and not feel anything. Now I bawl like a baby at the drop of a hat lol.

 

[dinosavr]

@dinosavr My reply was strongly worded, sorry if it sounded like an attack on you or anything. Ultimately I disagree with it but it's not like you watching videos of people dying does any more harm to the person who ctb. My opinion is but an opinion, live your life however you want.

No, don't worry, I know what you meant and it's perfectly fine. And it's good you didn't hesitate to express it. Sometimes stronger words are needed too!

 

[Justnotme]

And what else can we all do if no one teaches us how to die peacefully?
They help us to be born, but they don't help us to die
They believe that suicide cannot happen "in their right mind"
They believe that suicide is necessarily a disease.

I'm not ashamed at all when I watch a suicide video.

 

[dinosavr]

one thing i really admire about you is your open mindedness to another perspective! i think it could be really important and informative to explore this in therapy, if of course you have a therapist you trust. there might be something deeper to it if you truly have watched videos as such. i don't think it makes you this vile person, but i think it speaks volumes to the level of pain you are feeling. i sympathize with you, and i realize my last post comes across a little more harsh than understanding. i know the depth of the pain that comes with numbing out to the idea of death and what it even means; to lose yourself in this absolutely dizzying life. but i think this method of coping is definitely something to dive into. there is hope for you, and if you end up choosing recovery, i'm rooting for you.

please take care + be kind to yourself today.

You're so kind :((((( Thank you!

My thought process is this: if someone has recorded their intentional death, they wanted to be seen. In that sense, it's okay to watch them respectfully.

I don't really look at those or gore videos anymore. When I was on meds that were killing my emotions, I could watch and not feel anything. Now I bawl like a baby at the drop of a hat lol.

Well, you're right. The bigger problem are the ones where someone else was recording. And I believe there's more of those

And what else can we all do if no one teaches us how to die peacefully?
They help us to be born, but they don't help us to die
They believe that suicide cannot happen "in their right mind"
They believe that suicide is necessarily a disease.

I'm not ashamed at all when I watch a suicide video.

I don't think you can learn much from the videos though. The circumstances are different and first of all everyone's body is different and different things are able to kill it

 

[Justnotme]

I don't think you can learn much from the videos though. The circumstances are different and first of all everyone's body is different and different things are able to kill it

It depends on which method is shown in the video.
I only watch videos about hanging
These videos helped me a lot to understand the technique and the principle

 

[dinosavr]

It depends on which method is shown in the video.
I only watch videos about hanging
These videos helped me a lot to understand the technique and the principle

Oh you're right then. It might be very useful. And you're right it's sad how much we have to risk just because we simply don't know how to die.