SovietSuicide
Student
- Jan 8, 2022
- 100
In uni I did a lot of acid and sometimes DMT, they were mostly good experiences except now I'm afraid that when I die I won't actually die.
I just want all of this to end, I've always had a lingering feeling that conscious experience is evil and sinister, I get this vibe off of DMT too.
I'm 95% certain that all of these metaphysical revelations and spiritual woohoo is just drug induced delusion but there's still that 5% doubt.
How did "I" come from the void, what really is reality? Whose to really say whether Buddhists or Christians are right? Does reincarnation happen?
I don't know but let me tell you about one trip where I smoked DMT and I became aware of a separate existence where I was in a machine pod just like the Matrix but without all the wires sticking in me.
When I moved my body in this reality it was also moving in the pod and the sensation of the air going over my skin was because of this porous aluminium material softly gliding over my arm in the matrix pod.
The material was cut into many, many layers like sheets and had an otherworldly quality to it, like it was poking through a television screen, I could look around this space inside the pod in 3D.
Whilst I was in the pod I started to have memories of things that happened outside of my own life and I realized I was probably in the pod long before I was ever born in this life.
When I pushed against a wall it felt like the pod was conscious that it needed to push against my hand to give me the sensation of something physical pushing back but that was the limit of it's intelligence.
I spent about 30 minutes in the pod and here's the thing, every trip I've ever had there's always been changes very quickly one thing turns to another and it just kind of goes on and on and your brain gets fuzzy from being so high
But this was just a solid & consistent 30 minutes of feeling stone cold sober stuck in a fucking machine pod and then it slowly went away.
It was all so detailed and real, it's really hard to believe I'm not still in the pod.
Imagine having that experience and it feeling more real than reality.
I will not be surprised if I CTB and I either wake up in the pod or just get put in another fucking simulation. If this is the case then I think we are in hell, that's what I would call it.
I hope that when I die I just die and I don't have to continue existing in any way. I hope what I experienced was just hallucination. Maybe I need to figure out how to kill my pod self.
I'm sorry that this is a pointless delusional druggie post but it's just something I'm thinking about and it might be interesting to you if you like metaphysics.
I just want all of this to end, I've always had a lingering feeling that conscious experience is evil and sinister, I get this vibe off of DMT too.
I'm 95% certain that all of these metaphysical revelations and spiritual woohoo is just drug induced delusion but there's still that 5% doubt.
How did "I" come from the void, what really is reality? Whose to really say whether Buddhists or Christians are right? Does reincarnation happen?
I don't know but let me tell you about one trip where I smoked DMT and I became aware of a separate existence where I was in a machine pod just like the Matrix but without all the wires sticking in me.
When I moved my body in this reality it was also moving in the pod and the sensation of the air going over my skin was because of this porous aluminium material softly gliding over my arm in the matrix pod.
The material was cut into many, many layers like sheets and had an otherworldly quality to it, like it was poking through a television screen, I could look around this space inside the pod in 3D.
Whilst I was in the pod I started to have memories of things that happened outside of my own life and I realized I was probably in the pod long before I was ever born in this life.
When I pushed against a wall it felt like the pod was conscious that it needed to push against my hand to give me the sensation of something physical pushing back but that was the limit of it's intelligence.
I spent about 30 minutes in the pod and here's the thing, every trip I've ever had there's always been changes very quickly one thing turns to another and it just kind of goes on and on and your brain gets fuzzy from being so high
But this was just a solid & consistent 30 minutes of feeling stone cold sober stuck in a fucking machine pod and then it slowly went away.
It was all so detailed and real, it's really hard to believe I'm not still in the pod.
Imagine having that experience and it feeling more real than reality.
I will not be surprised if I CTB and I either wake up in the pod or just get put in another fucking simulation. If this is the case then I think we are in hell, that's what I would call it.
I hope that when I die I just die and I don't have to continue existing in any way. I hope what I experienced was just hallucination. Maybe I need to figure out how to kill my pod self.
I'm sorry that this is a pointless delusional druggie post but it's just something I'm thinking about and it might be interesting to you if you like metaphysics.
