redmouth
Mandrax Town
- Oct 30, 2025
- 7
Despite suicide being the only thing I've ever truly wanted since I was conscious I'm a bit of a chicken so it's hard for me to settle on any method. Insecticide seems the most appealing to me, the procedure of having to make sure my stomach is empty to increase absorption time and the overall severity of the poison and reducing the amount of vomit and uhh... other body fluids that will come out of me when I pass is oddly comforting to think about. I've successfully attempted fasting for the amount of time I'd need to do it and I think I definitely could. And I can make myself a nice drink for it, it'd taste like absolute shit but again the process of doing it would be a nice final indulgence.
Additionally, I think the process of cutting the can (would regular old Mortein be strong enough or should I look into agricultural grade pesticide?) and maybe wrecking my hands a bit while doing it is going to cement it in my psyche. It'd signal a sort of "no going back" stage for me I'd reckon.
Going by train (an industrial one would be nice) would be fantastic too but that'd have to be planned for the far future because I live much, much too far away from any station to consider it as I'd need time to do extensive planning. However, I do know someone who has tried that and all they got out of it was a mutilated leg so I'm a bit iffy on that method. Unless people have some tips to prevent that outcome? Pesky anti-suicide measures being rolled out in a lot of stations is sure to hamper things too.
Anyways thank you for reading this far, even if you don't reply ♡
Additionally, I think the process of cutting the can (would regular old Mortein be strong enough or should I look into agricultural grade pesticide?) and maybe wrecking my hands a bit while doing it is going to cement it in my psyche. It'd signal a sort of "no going back" stage for me I'd reckon.
Going by train (an industrial one would be nice) would be fantastic too but that'd have to be planned for the far future because I live much, much too far away from any station to consider it as I'd need time to do extensive planning. However, I do know someone who has tried that and all they got out of it was a mutilated leg so I'm a bit iffy on that method. Unless people have some tips to prevent that outcome? Pesky anti-suicide measures being rolled out in a lot of stations is sure to hamper things too.
Anyways thank you for reading this far, even if you don't reply ♡
