Discussion Thoughts On Filming CTB??

[hikikomorizombie]

i'd meant to go on those liveleak type sites for a while now to research my method, & i finally did. wow. it's def a bit of a transformative experience. i don't feel any particular way abt ppl filming it. some seem to think it's abhorrent, others find too much glee in advocating for it (ex: 'get the right angles').

would u film ur suicide? if my appearance wasn't 1 of my reasons & i didn't have to worry abt my death being overtaken by ridicule + mocking bc of it, i prob would, & post it to wpd directly. idrky. 99% of ppl on there don't get it @ all + don't seem to operate on any deeper lvl of thinking. maybe it's bc i've been alone for so long. it'd be like a warped type of way to not die alone. that's why i try not to judge the self filmers too much, even if i don't understand their reasoning for kts. & maybe i'd help some1 else pick their method too.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I just want to die alone in peace far away from other people, I just want to be forgotten about like I never existed at all. All that's desirable to me is this existence permanently disappearing into nothingness.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I personally wouldn't film my ctb as I'd rather just get it over with as quickly as possible but I guess I can kinda understand those who do want to film their own ctb especially when the aspect of loneliness comes into play here

 

[Q_Hayley]

I did want to do it, i think some people would like to see a live account of the SN process. But firstly I don't know where or how I would post it afterwards, for obvious reasons. And the second and main reason is I wouldn't want the risk of someone who I care about coming across the video and hurting them. I know that's not an issue for many people for valid reasons but that's my personal opinions on it

 

[strigoi]

No
I just want to die in peace. While I'm alive I didn't get the attention I needed, after I die I won't need attention, much less compassion from someone I don't know.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

No it's not something that should be used to feed the sites it'll end up on like watch people die and documenting reality where it's watched for sport and fun.
If you was gonna livestream it so as not to be alone then find someone(s) on here to do that with as at least you'll have more in common.

yeah :// that's what'd really turn me off from it if i was considering it, that most ppl on those sites don't get it @ allllll. & don't try to. they just wanna gobble up painful stuff.

& i was thinking abt that but tbh don't know how i'd go abt it. i feel like making friends on here is hard, + most users don't seem to want to partake in some1 else's death (which i don't blame em for).

 

[adam456]

ya and im pretty sure the way those videos spread your family might see and that would haunt them forever

 

[hikikomorizombie]

ya and im pretty sure the way those videos spread your family might see and that would haunt them forever

thankfully i don't have any1 in my life to need to worry abt thatexcept maybe 1/2, but they don't even know what those sites are.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Yer you definitely don't want it on gore sites, ppl can really get off on seeing women off themselves in a gorno kinda way. my advice would be to find 1 or a few other like-minded 'women' on here of similar age. Ask on a thread and start to get a little friendly with someone to make your end meaningful and without loneliness. What suicide method are you using?

no waysrsly?? ik ppl have fcked up fetishes but idk abt that'gorno' is my new vocab word for today. guess it's like snuff films huh.

i'll try to take that advice :') thank u. & my method's jumping. i think we got into a lil debate abt jumping vs hanging the other day, lol. def 1 of the hardest SI's to overcome.

 

[Arachno]

I've thought about it, but I don't know yet, I still don't even have the means to kill myself off, gun being my prefered method. If I'm able to get a gun to kill myself with, then I might consider it, but I don't really feel like filming my suicide via hanging, jumping or train. I don't know.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I've thought about it, but I don't know yet, I still don't even have the means to kill myself off, gun being my prefered method. If I'm able to get a gun to kill myself with, then I might consider it, but I don't really feel like filming my suicide via hanging, jumping or train. I don't know.

is there any reason why u might wanna film w a gun but not other methods??

 

[Arachno]

is there any reason why u might wanna film w a gun but not other methods??

I don't really know how to put it in words but I guess it's how the process looks, gun suicides look more "appealing" to me than other methods, which just sounds really weird but I don't know how to explain it differently.

 

[SmallKoy]

No, I just want to die alone in peace far away from other people, I just want to be forgotten about like I never existed at all. All that's desirable to me is this existence permanently disappearing into nothingness.

I wish this was possible. You describe it perfectly. Just dissolving into nothingness with no one having memory of me ever existing. If this was a choice I had, I would make it.

 

[Adûnâi]

I don't have a camera, and don't know how to use a phone lmao

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I don't have a camera, and don't know how to use a phone lmao

if both of those factors were fixed, is filming ur suicide something you'd wanna do??

 

[wondering&wandering]

would u film ur suicide?

Filmed as in recorded? No, definitely not. Like others have said, there are some sickos who enjoy seeing things like that, and I'm not about to be turned into some hunk of meat who entertains those sadists.

But as other people have mentioned, dying alone sounds cruel and unpleasant. There was someone to greet me when I was born, so I should like it to be the same when I die. So maybe sharing one's last moments over a non-recorded video call is preferable.

I know you plan to ctb sooner than later, but really try to find someone. I'm still pretty new to this site, so I can't say I have any people to recommended for you. But feel free to PM me if you need help with anything else.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

There was someone to greet me when I was born, so I should like it to be the same when I die.

wow, i've never thought of it like that :o made my chest ache. a v good point.

I know you plan to ctb sooner than later, but really try to find someone. I'm still pretty new to this site, so I can't say I have any people to recommended for you. But feel free to PM me if you need help with anything else.

tysm!!! :') i'm also new, newer than u i think. i'll def take u up on that offer @ some point, plz feel free to PM me whenever abt anything as well<333

 

[wondering&wandering]

tysm!!! :') i'm also new, newer than u i think. i'll def take u up on that offer @ some point, plz feel free to PM me whenever abt anything as well<333

Your welcome! Glad I could be of service. I'll try to PM you later then. :)

 

[dynastickitten]

i'd meant to go on those liveleak type sites for a while now to research my method, & i finally did. wow. it's def a bit of a transformative experience. i don't feel any particular way abt ppl filming it. some seem to think it's abhorrent, others find too much glee in advocating for it (ex: 'get the right angles').

would u film ur suicide? if my appearance wasn't 1 of my reasons & i didn't have to worry abt my death being overtaken by ridicule + mocking bc of it, i prob would, & post it to wpd directly. idrky. 99% of ppl on there don't get it @ all + don't seem to operate on any deeper lvl of thinking. maybe it's bc i've been alone for so long. it'd be like a warped type of way to not die alone. that's why i try not to judge the self filmers too much, even if i don't understand their reasoning for kts. & maybe i'd help some1 else pick their method too.

I don't think I'd film mine. Too much risk of it becoming some cheap shock video. And I don't want people to gawk at me for laughs. Those types of sites are filled with very unsympathetic people.

I watch other people commit suicide because I'm jealous of them, mostly. I don't go on there to laugh at them or make a cheap joke at their expense. Doesn't feel right. And because there are so many people who do that, I wouldn't recommend it

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I don't think I'd film mine. I don't want people to gawk at me for laughs.

I watch other people commit suicide because I'm jealous of them. I don't go on there to laugh at them. And because there are so many people who do that, I wouldn't.

yeah :// sucks. i've seen some comments there that idek how they thought of. even if it was some super exclusive suicide only site, just putting it onto the internet is a risk. too bad ppl are always, w/o fail, soso shitty!!!

 

[steppingoff]

would u film ur suicide?

Yes - I have learned from watching other people's hangings- Other's can learn from mine

 

[Abyssal]

By streaming you are involving others. How it is approached can change whether it's good or bad, but ultimately it is against my morals to possibly traumatize someone.

Even if you say what it is, pro lifers struggle to grasp that people will actually jump to commit suicide. These people believe in a good ending even if there's statistics showing the prominence to suicide. Ignorance is bliss after all. I wouldn't wish such a thing even on a pro lifer, Nobody deserves to watch another die.

Those types of sites are filled with very unsympathetic people.

This was what finally drove me to looking at watchpeopledie and holy shit, those people are worse than I could imagine. Don't condone suicide, but do condone making fun of others at their worst and using racism as a means of justifying the death of others. Got my suicide fuel for the week, I am eliminating any chance of being filmed.

Everyone deserves to be treated better than that even when dead, I'd hate to see anyone from this website end up on such a site. You are all kind souls given a bad hand.

 

[rozeske]

I understand where you are coming form for wanting to feel less lonely and wanting the video to be of some help to others. But after having watched how sickening almost all the comments on their are,( Am not even sure these people have an ounce of humanity left in them), I would never record mine nor advice you to do so. Am not even gonna mention the sickos that get off on watching someone's worest moment. You might do it thinking to feel a little less lonely at that moment but that video is gonna be on there for years to come surrounded by all those sickening comments and for the gratification of those sickos.

 

[bluville]

Not my actual suicide but I thought of leaving a vlog of me talking as a suicide note.

 

[Adûnâi]

This was what finally drove me to looking at watchpeopledie and holy shit, those people are worse than I could imagine. Don't condone suicide, but do condone making fun of others at their worst and using racism as a means of justifying the death of others.

I wouldn't sweat it, WPD strikes me as an insular community with its unique atmosphere. There's only so much diversity one could pour into comments under the videos of people dying - and chances are, those who are horrified don't stick around.

I for one watched industrial accidents there - they're impartial, arbitrary, absurd, rather fitting for our entropic world. And the comments often comment on OSHA regulations lacking in China.

And if you'd like to raise your opinion of WPD folks from the Mariana Trench to the rock bottom,
1) they seem to be more comfortable with torture when it's "thieves" being "punished";
2) they have a zero-tolerance policy on animal torture.

if both of those factors were fixed, is filming ur suicide something you'd wanna do??

Not really. My argument would be that suicide visuals wouldn't represent who I am, so what's the point? Unless it's something artistic - such as a tea ceremony, or... a shadow on the wall?

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I understand wanting an informational video because I myself want an informational video of SN. But mine? Inert gas isn't very exciting. There's nothing to see

 

[littlelungs]

I might make a short video shortly before I go in which I will explain that I am of sound mind, that this was my decision and that I know what I'm about to do and what the outcome will be (which would only be for the police and my family so that they don't get the wrong impression and think that my death was impulsive, the result of a "temporary problem" or anything other than a suicide), but I would never in a billion years livestream or otherwise film my actual death for others to see. It's a very private, vulnerable and sensitive thing.

Some people may want videos of methods purely for educational purposes, but there's also unfortunately an abundance of very sick, nasty and genuinely evil people out there, and I don't want my death and the decades of suffering that lead up to that point to ever be oversimplified or misinterpreted, or a source of entertainment, jokes or (god fucking forbid) memes for people to just be able to look up and pass around whenever they feel like it, basically until the end of the internet. I don't want the image of me pulling an exit bag over my head to be my legacy, and I just want to be able to rest in peace. And then there's the fact that my family will already be having a hard enough time with it as it is, never mind having to live with the fact that my final moments are out there for the whole world to see.

Take what happened in the aftermath of Ronnie McNutt's suicide, for example: People were joking and laughing and saying absolutely disgusting things about him and his death in comments sections, when this was a real person who suffered from severe PTSD and depression and was clearly suffering profoundly, not to mention the sick fucks who edited the clip with the actual gunshot into innocent-appearing Tik Toks to trick unsuspecting people (including literal children) into watching it, and those who thought it would be fucking funny to torment his poor grieving mother by sending the video to her. People never cease to utterly disgust and horrify me, and just knowing that there are people like that out there makes me want to get off this planet even more than I already do.

TL;DR: As for filming or streaming my own death for others to see, that's a hard NO from me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

If I thought it would help other people- maybe. I've watched a few videos filmed in the clinics out of curiosity. I suppose- if I knew it had been consensual, it would maybe help to see the SN process- to know what to expect.

Still- I don't see how it could be achieved without getting someone living in to trouble. Even if they aren't physically there- presumably, they would be receiving a live stream of a suicide. Even if it's annonymous, I should have thought authorities would expect you to report it.

Plus, there's the whole gore aspect. Not too pleasant to imagine people using that kind of footage for some sadistic, perverse means.

 

[steppingoff]

Choosing to stream/record, etc, is the same choice as choosing your method. If you want to die in a public way, that is your choice. But you have to be responsible. In the same way, you don't hang yourself in a children's playground, you don't stream it on a Facebook live event because people may be traumatized by unexpectantly seeing it. It's different if you do a private stream or to a Gore site. - you expect you may come across it

 

[bluegodism]

i would like this.. i would like to somehow document my process with sn