Thoughts on double suicide

[toskita]

I've encountered with the idea multiple times by variety of media but never gave it a second thought until now.
I met a girl who's practically my reason to live, she's really depressed and had already expressed her suicidal thoughts to me, which haven't gotten better with the time since she's a troubled person. We've got a weird friendship were we always bomb each other with 'I love you' and stuff like that. Whenever I think about dying I can't help but want to die with her at least by my side if not with me. I love her so much that I want to die with her, to end our mutual suffering and our bodies to shatter into pieces.

For the record, I've never spoken to her on the subject, she's pretty much convinced that I'm just fine dealing with my own stuff or at least she pretends to not worry about me killing myself.

 

[femboyy]

personally, i love the idea of killing myself with a friend or somebody i love. Doubt i will ever meet somebody who would want to commit suicide with me though.

 

[AInilam]

Not really, I'd rather someone be by my side in my final moments but that'll never happen unless it was from terminal illness. I wouldn't want them to go with me though. I plan on just spending the day with a friend and then once I'm on my own, off I go.

 

[Abyssal]

Poetic in theory, messy and disastrous in reality. If someone lives they will have to handle whatever that entails. Could be considered assisted suicide in some cases I'd imagine.

I feel concerned about your situation. You seem like a good friend, however you should probably try and support her where you can before daydreaming about partner ctb. Do you even know her views on suicide? This is risky.

 

[toskita]

personally, i love the idea of killing myself with a friend or somebody i love. Doubt i will ever meet somebody who would want to commit suicide with me though.

I don't really know what to reply to that, but I wanted to welcome you to the forum, hope you can find the answer here, whether it's to ctb or to live.

Poetic in theory, messy and disastrous in reality. If someone lives they will have to handle whatever that entails. Could be considered assisted suicide in some cases I'd imagine.

I feel concerned about your situation. You seem like a good friend, however you should probably try and support her where you can before daydreaming about partner ctb. Do you even know her views on suicide? This is risky.

I'm aware of the possible consequences, and that's why it's just my own suicide daydream instead of an actual plan. I try my absolute best to support her though, I don't 'neglect' her as a friend because she's not at fault for my own thoughts and it would be very manipulative of me to do.
But anyways, thanks for giving me your own view on my case :3 your ayano profile picture is really cute btw

 

[UKscotty]

In theory sounds good, and I explored it for some time on the partners section.

However, in practice it's exceptionally difficult to find someone who really wants to CTB. When you do, both of your SI needs to be depleted at the same time.

In reality, I can see why pacts and partners are rare.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe if the bond was incredibly strong- eg. a spouse or romantic partner. Maybe a best friend- although- it makes more sense to me if our lives were more connected. I wouldn't want to be bereaved losing a husband- I'd rather die with them I would think. We'd both DEFINITELY need to be suicidal though- obviously! It's hard to imagine really. I think single people tend to have this fantasy they might not still be suicidal if they had a partner. Just as those alone think having loving parents would make a difference.

A friend though is more kind of tricky in a way. I have had suicidal friends but maybe we both see more opportunities and pathways in the other person's life (that maybe aren't even realistic!) So, I'm not sure it would feel so comfortable encouraging them in it with a pact- from both sides really. That's just a personal feeling though. It depends entirely on the person I guess and- how well you feel you know one another.

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah, the trust relationship often requires strong bonds, or at least equally huge desperation

And at least one person should have clear-minded planning/implementation ability. To make it gentle & not crazy. With the moral integrity to die last, to ensure the other's truly at peace

 

[exiled]

my childhood best friend took her life and had previously asked me to catch the bus with her. she had said it so many times before, and then ultimately without a single warning, she was gone. it's something i grapple with every single day; why didn't she just let me know? but when i think about it with an objective mind, it makes complete sense.

she didn't reach out when she was actually ready to do it because she knew that there was way too much at risk. first of all, i could've backed down at the last second and then watched her die and gotten into some type of legal trouble myself. second of all, she could fail and i could succeed and she'd be the one bearing the consequences. thirdly, it was ultimately her decision to end her own life and she wanted that moment to be hers, and hers only. she died in the back of her car in the parking lot of a park.

point being, she clearly fantasized the idea of going out together but in actual reality, knew that it was a terrible idea.

it's beautiful to have a bond with someone you trust that deeply - to want to hold hands with another person while you do the very most vulnerable thing. but it isn't realistic most of the time. and i'd argue, if this bond exists with someone, perhaps you should cling to each other and attempt a chance at recovery. who knows?!

one rarely gets a friendship so close in a lifetime. might not be worth throwing out the window.