Thoughts of a suicide jumper

[musicislife]

Instant regret, powerful, overwhelming. As I fell, all I wanted to do was reach back to the rail, but it was gone," said Kevin. "The thoughts in those four seconds, it was 'What have I just done? I don't want t

This is from someone who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge in SF - instant regret from the moment he let go of the railing !! I've often thought do people who hang them selves think the same thoughts ? Videos I've seen of hanging before they lose consciousness they always seem to reach up toward the rope around their neck as if to try and stop what's happening but obviously unsuccessful

 

[Samuel]

Funny, I was just thinking about this same thing the other day. My conclusion was that this guy, just didn't want to die.

 

[deathwish]

Prob important to have thought very well before jumping or hanging or pulling or whathaveyou. Even if panic strikes and regret blooms, hands reach for life, still, you made the right decision, right? Didn't you? In that case, the panic/regret/reaching could be attributed to instinct; but you've decided to act upon your logic (instead of instinct that commands life), and that is how you will die, which is what you want, so it's all good. ..Do you ever regret decisions that you thought all the way through...? i've never but i think my decision making skills may be very high.

For that guy who regretted- of course we've probably all heard such stories from jump survivors- i'd agree with Samuel; he didn't want to die. He didn't learn anything falling, except that he was incorrect when he jumped. Be sure beforehand, as with anything/everything important.

 

[chronicpainnomore]

I've often wondered if I decided to jump, if it would be the same for me. As a skydiver who has jumped thousands of times from airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, done BASE jumps from bridges and buildings, would it be the same for me? I'll never know because jumping isn't my thing. Even with the parachute, I know that the sensation of "groundrush" when the ground starts rushing up at you, it triggers a survival instinct. For me, that was deploying my parachute. I probably wouldn't have any problem with the jumping part, but groundrush is very unpleasant. I couldn't handle it.

 

[Deleted member 847]

It was not his thoughts, it was his lizard brain thoughts

 

[Ben]

Instant regret, powerful, overwhelming. As I fell, all I wanted to do was reach back to the rail, but it was gone," said Kevin. "The thoughts in those four seconds, it was 'What have I just done? I don't want t

This is from someone who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge in SF - instant regret from the moment he let go of the railing !! I've often thought do people who hang them selves think the same thoughts ? Videos I've seen of hanging before they lose consciousness they always seem to reach up toward the rope around their neck as if to try and stop what's happening but obviously unsuccessful

It's got be some the most intense moments a human can experience. Seeing the ground approach you while being completely free of any choices anymore. If you feel regret, it must be the kind of regret that makes your mental state to mush, BEFORE you hit the ground. But I could also see it being very freeing. If you were really ready, it's has to be euphoric..

 

[SomeGuyDK]

The guy from the Golden Gate Bridge documentary seemed like his suicide was a cry for help at least from the story he tells. He positioned himself to land feet first. It did not seem like other jumpers did that. This creates survivorship bias. Anyway jumping from that bridge seems like a bad way to go, a lot of jumpers die from drowning.

 

[worldexploder]

I remember a video made by that guy. I thought about jumping many times. I live about an hour away from the second tallest bridge in America (876 feet with rocks and shallow water at the bottom). The golden gate is 250 feet with deep water below.

I have been considering jumping for nearly 3 years now. But I'm scared. I keep wondering if id be one of those guys who remained conscious for minutes after I hit the ground. Death from that height should be instant but it's that fear of the unknown that keeps me on solid ground.

Also, I find the thought of dying at home very comforting. I know if I go on that bridge, I'd be having a panic attack and my stupid self preservation instincts would kick in.

 

[weedoge]

Hes schizophrenic too right? Its cool the guy survived if he wanted to but not all of us are willing to "cope" with our issues for a full lifetime in this world.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

I remember watching his interview in the bridge and thought he came across as opportunistic and a bit unbalanced (at the time at least). I hate how he seems to have positioned himself as a pseudo spokesperson for suicidal people. We all come to suicide from vastly different places and reasons.

 

[Sayo]

I've often wondered if I decided to jump, if it would be the same for me. As a skydiver who has jumped thousands of times from airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, done BASE jumps from bridges and buildings, would it be the same for me? I'll never know because jumping isn't my thing. Even with the parachute, I know that the sensation of "groundrush" when the ground starts rushing up at you, it triggers a survival instinct. For me, that was deploying my parachute. I probably wouldn't have any problem with the jumping part, but groundrush is very unpleasant. I couldn't handle it.

Have been curious about the pov of someone with skydiving exp - thank you.
--- more generally:
My expectation is nearly all people would feel overwhelming regret after jumping due to survival instinct and terror. It seems some people experience that, live, then go back and do it asap.

I actually appreciate Kevin's perspective because of the impulsive but treatable people who want to be treated - might as well help them - and my own morbid curiosity - I've had a problem with death fantasies since I was a tiny child and jumping is a lifelong interest. But people are right that it has been used for probably as much harm as good and he has taken that experience like many who are suicidal temporarily and minimised us with it.

 

[s_girl]

I think the situation is VERY different and cannot be compared. His decision was impulsive and he admits he was 'crying out for help' and wanting to be saved, so it's nowhere near the same thing! The most important thing that Kevin says is before jumping.

"I actually had a pact with myself, this is something that many suicidal people do. If one person says 'Are you ok,' 'Is something wrong,' or 'Can I help you?' I was going to tell them everything and beg them to help me," said Kevin. No one spoke to him. He spent 40 minutes on the bridge, tears still streaming down his face. And then, finally, someone approached him.

Kevin had been waiting for just one person to reach out to him. On the span, a woman came up to him on his left side. And I thought, she smiled at me, she's going to ask me if I'm ok. I don't have to die today. I'm 19, and I don't have to die," said Kevin. "That's when she pulled out a camera and said 'Will you take my picture?' And I was crushed." He took the picture and returned her camera. She walked away. Within moments, he jumped from the bridge.

He landed in a sitting position, broke his back (almost severing his spinal cord), and didn't drown because the coast guard rescued him. I wonder if he would still regret his decision and want to live if he had serious disabilities afterwards?

The lesson that Kevin has taught me is that PLANNING IS REALLY IMPORTANT, otherwise you will end up broken, paralysed or a vegetable and may not want to live with those consequences...

 

[s_girl]

Personally I've always wanted to jump from that bridge and I would too, if i wasn't on the other side of the world... less than 1% survival is good odds for me and I've always wanted to know what it felt like to fly...

"The experience of jumping for the survivors was described as tranquil or peaceful and not frightening or terrifying as one might suspect". Some even blacked out before hitting the water.

Although it's pretty old, this is a great study on jumping and surviving. It's worth a read, if this is your thing too...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1129714/?page=1

And here's an interesting article about the suicide history at the bridge. As you can probably tell by now, I've read a lot about this topic.

https://brandongaille.com/22-golden-gate-bridge-suicide-statistics/

I've always wanted to learn more about the woman who jumped twice, surviving her first jump but not her second. If you know anything about this story, please share...

 

[NoOneKnows]

I remember watching his interview in the bridge and thought he came across as opportunistic and a bit unbalanced (at the time at least). I hate how he seems to have positioned himself as a pseudo spokesperson for suicidal people. We all come to suicide from vastly different places and reasons.

I agree with you..at the same time Im thinking he couldnt really say on TV that he is still suicidal ,they would put him to psych ward probably. I think that was the message from that documentary for suicidal people, to fool them that they will regret it the moment they try it..

 

[throwaway123]

Funny, I was just thinking about this same thing the other day. My conclusion was that this guy, just didn't want to die.

Exactly!

 

[throwaway123]

Personally I've always wanted to jump from that bridge and I would too, if i wasn't on the other side of the world... less than 1% survival is good odds for me and I've always wanted to know what it felt like to fly...

"The experience of jumping for the survivors was described as tranquil or peaceful and not frightening or terrifying as one might suspect". Some even blacked out before hitting the water.

Although it's pretty old, this is a great study on jumping and surviving. It's worth a read, if this is your thing too...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1129714/?page=1

And here's an interesting article about the suicide history at the bridge. As you can probably tell by now, I've read a lot about this topic.

https://brandongaille.com/22-golden-gate-bridge-suicide-statistics/

I've always wanted to learn more about the woman who jumped twice, surviving her first jump but not her second. If you know anything about this story, please share...

This is also the reason why I've chosen Jumping as my method :)