C
carterprobs
he / him
- Jul 19, 2025
- 20
Uhhh this is mostly for me, I'm just going to keep commenting on it over and over until I'm gone (Friday). I have all these thoughts and no-one to share with.
So now that I've decided, I feel like I see everything differently. I took a drive earlier and I thought, "This is one of the last times I'll see the sky. I'm dying in six days."
There were things I was looking forward to and now I'm realizing that I'm not going to be around to see them. In a way I feel very blessed because normally people don't know the day they'll die, and don't get to have these thoughts.
I feel okay. At peace. I keep thinking about where to do it. There are places that would be symbolic, romantic I guess. Places where I felt safe and happy once. I fantasize about doing it one of those places, but I know that I won't. It's too likely that I'll be discovered before it's done.
I'll add as I have more thoughts.
So now that I've decided, I feel like I see everything differently. I took a drive earlier and I thought, "This is one of the last times I'll see the sky. I'm dying in six days."
There were things I was looking forward to and now I'm realizing that I'm not going to be around to see them. In a way I feel very blessed because normally people don't know the day they'll die, and don't get to have these thoughts.
I feel okay. At peace. I keep thinking about where to do it. There are places that would be symbolic, romantic I guess. Places where I felt safe and happy once. I fantasize about doing it one of those places, but I know that I won't. It's too likely that I'll be discovered before it's done.
I'll add as I have more thoughts.