shotgun
im alive but im dead, awake but asleep
- Sep 14, 2023
- 29
It's been going on for a while. Wanting a gun, I mean.Obviously it's because shooting yourself seems like the best option of ctb in my eyes. The thing is, I live in a small country, and it's hard as fuck to get a gun in here.
I already have a plan that will work, but it's still nice dreaming about owning my own gun. Having the choice of getting out whenever.
I never think of harming others when I think about owning a gun. For now, at least. The single thing I want to harm is the disgusting creature I ended up turning into.
I feel like a walking corpse constantly. I have gross thoughts, like torturing animals. My cats. My dearest little souls. I genuinely love them so fucking much I don't get why my brain tells me how it'd be to do horrible things to them. Or thoughts about rape, kidnapping, robberies etc. I can't get it out of my fucking head. Gun would help tho.
I already have a plan that will work, but it's still nice dreaming about owning my own gun. Having the choice of getting out whenever.
I never think of harming others when I think about owning a gun. For now, at least. The single thing I want to harm is the disgusting creature I ended up turning into.
I feel like a walking corpse constantly. I have gross thoughts, like torturing animals. My cats. My dearest little souls. I genuinely love them so fucking much I don't get why my brain tells me how it'd be to do horrible things to them. Or thoughts about rape, kidnapping, robberies etc. I can't get it out of my fucking head. Gun would help tho.
