When we make errors they can be helpful if we can consider them challenges that can be learned from. I do not know those people around you, but I don't think they are giving you any positive reinforcement. Some times I have used criticisms of myself to improve whatever I was being criticized for. There are many human beings that benefit from crying as a way to release emotional or physical tension or pain. Much love to you.
The thing is, I'm not in the same environment anymore. There are good people around who are encouraging, and try to be understanding. But it doesn't take much to basically mentally regress. Reframing, as you said, would help…if the emotional aspect, the shame and fear, weren't so strong in these moments, then maybe I could push harder to reframe. Very difficult to do in the moment, but, eh. Guess that's why you practice.
Why do you say that?
Not every time we fail is our fault.
This is true. Tbh I think it's because people would overreact to things like literal accidents, unintentional mistakes, throughout childhood and life. It's engrained and 'safer' to internalize this shit versus be upset at someone else, even if I try to be upset at someone else (for poor or unfair behavior) or think about things more objectively.
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than to feel that way. You aren't a burden or a fuck up, and I'm sorry others have made you feel that way. We're all here for you
Thank you. When I'm a bit calmer, like this morning, I can at least tell myself these same things. But it doesn't feel true, lol. At all.
