Those who have been to a psych ward: what's your experience?

[Reapentence]

I landed myself in a psychiatric intensive care unit for teens at age 15. It traumatised me so bad that if I ever attempt to CTB again, it will be for good. In addition, I fear getting help and sharing my feelings with anyone. The system is fucked, especially in the UK. It's one of the UK's darkest secrets in my opinion, and the people who have been are usually too mentally ill to voice their opinion or end up killing themselves. The conditions were appalling. I was sent hundreds of miles from home and no one visited me. The staff were not understanding at all (most were immigrants with very conservative views on mental health). I feel so grateful I was able to get out the system, as most of the kids there had been stuck for years. I felt like my life was over. I honestly do believe it would be worse than any prison. I rarely saw the sun - we could only go outside for a few minutes a day. There were 15 patients and the only places we could go were the 2 small lounges and the hallway. There were no activities during the day, and any technology (e.g. phones) was banned. I developed a fear of clocks and knowing the time in general, as it made time pass slower. Everyday felt like 10 years. When you first go there, they watch you 24/7, sleeping, showering and go to the toilet etc. I lost all my dignity. After a few weeks, if you have behaved, they check your existence every 15 minutes. My favourite part of the day was lunch/dinner, because that was the only "activity" there was. I'm so happy to have my freedom back now, and my biggest fear is losing it again.

 

[CFLoser]

I really enjoyed it. It was nice to have a lot of time to think, but I had to sneak cookies cause, like you said, they were checking on me a lot.

The food was really good and I read books that were super interesting though i always got a headache from reading the books because they were all classics, but it was still super fun. Everyone there was really nice but after I while I started having some weird reaction to something and my face was getting red and I couldn't breath easily, so I decided to just gtfo as quickly as possible.

It was not that bad but I dont wanna go again. It was really weird though seeing how things I would say to the nurses or whatever would spread to the other doctors/whatever at the ward and then everything would be lost in translation.

 

[Exile]

I was in twice as a young person. I resolved at the end of the second time to never go again, no matter what it took. It was dehumanizing and didn't help at all. It also scared me that so many people there had been through the revolving door most of their lives. A lot of them were smart, perceptive people who just couldn't deal with the world.

 

[wiIIow]

in each of my stays, I've felt like a caged animal being viewed as some sort of exhibit by staff. the worst was my stay as a teen, as the restrictions were much more severe and staff was always on duty to censor your speech and belittle you, though my experience may not have been the norm. I don't know.

2nd and 3rd stays as an adult weren't so bad, besides the whole aspect of being completely out of my head. I was allowed coffee, the structure was relaxed, there were big windows to sit by and look out of.

4th and final stay was a joke, was basically thrown into a room with no stimulation aside from the constantly screaming woman next door and the Bukowski book I never managed to return to the library. The doctor they sent in came in for a 5 minute "evaluation" where he stared at his clipboard while I listed off my problems and then he cut me off at what he deemed to be the end in order to write me a prescription for whatever generic drug fit the ever-so-well-thought-out criteria that I met. I was treated so terribly by staff here that I left early (I had admitted myself voluntarily).

Never going back there again. While it had been necessary at the time for me to have a place away from the world to stabilize myself, it was never particularly helpful and often times demeaning and unpleasant.

Oh, and for one of the stays I was put on an antipsychotic which gave me the lovely side effect of akathisia, which the staff missread as a panic attack. So they stuffed me full of benzos and sent me on my way. Had to do my own research to finally figure out why I couldn't shake the torturous feeling of wanting to rip my skin off. Noice. Anyway, I refuse to ever put any of that shit in my body again.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

A "friend" and old classmate who was doing her residency in psychiatry in North Carolina when I was in school had me sectioned when I stupidly confessed to her via phone how depressed I was. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. From the police forcing their way into my apartment, to them rifling through my bedroom bureau drawers with all my underwear and other personal effects, to being forced to go to the emergency room in an ambulance--and later being billed for the privilege!--while the emergency workers obliged to accompany me let me know what a shameful waste of their valuable time I was, to the disgust the officer assigned to sit with me while I lay half-naked in a chilled hospital bed waiting for the medical staff plied me with as he condescendingly lectured me about personal responsibility (irony). And then the overworked doctors and nurses who spoke over me in the third person as if I were unconscious, ramming hard, cold objects into me like they were attacking a voodoo doll. I'll spare you the details about the following days as a prisoner of the state. Once you're deemed crazy, others can treat you as they see fit. I returned to my apartment at the time to find I'd become a pariah in the small, close, working-class Medford, MA neighborhood where I was renting. One honest phone call and the commitment it led to ruined so much for me.

I learned never-ever-ever-ever-ever to allow anyone--professional or otherwise--that kind of power over me again. Under pain of torture I wouldn't confess to being suicidal. Involuntary commitment is for many (Google people's accounts) a hell comparable to incarceration and psychiatric epidemiologists have excellent evidence amassed over decades that commitment itself is an independent risk factor for suicide. Gee. I wonder why.

 

[kkatt]

I've spent time in 3 different psychiatric units. Two were "open" where patients could have limited time outside depending on the severity of their condition.
The third was a secure unit with patients only being allowed controlled periods of release under supervision.
The first admission was some time ago and involved medical procedures such as forced refeeding using a NGT,bed rest and the use of heavy sedatives to control uncooperative patients. Things have changed so I'm not sure these things even occur anymore.
The secure ward is not a good place to be. Most patients are regarded as "dangerous" in some way and I felt unsafe for much of the time.
However,I'm fully aware that some of my behaviour probably had the same effect on those around me. The ability of the staff to control any genuinely high risk situation is something I seriously doubt. They barely managed to contol incidents involving a single person experiencing a crisis. Had multiple patients been involved,I have no idea how they would cope.
I also spent some time in prison,which felt much safer,despite the fact that the majority of inmates suffer some kind of mental illness. Strict procedures are in place to manage incidents of this kind.
Without a doubt,medication and television are the primary methods of control in a psychiatric unit. No doubt drooling residents gathered around the zombie box is a universal method employed across the field.

 

[Meretlein]

Most traumatizing experience of my life. Its effects are the reason i'm ctbing.

 

[Final Escape]

I landed myself in a psychiatric intensive care unit for teens at age 15. It traumatised me so bad that if I ever attempt to CTB again, it will be for good. In addition, I fear getting help and sharing my feelings with anyone. The system is fucked, especially in the UK. It's one of the UK's darkest secrets in my opinion, and the people who have been are usually too mentally ill to voice their opinion or end up killing themselves. The conditions were appalling. I was sent hundreds of miles from home and no one visited me. The staff were not understanding at all (most were immigrants with very conservative views on mental health). I feel so grateful I was able to get out the system, as most of the kids there had been stuck for years. I felt like my life was over. I honestly do believe it would be worse than any prison. I rarely saw the sun - we could only go outside for a few minutes a day. There were 15 patients and the only places we could go were the 2 small lounges and the hallway. There were no activities during the day, and any technology (e.g. phones) was banned. I developed a fear of clocks and knowing the time in general, as it made time pass slower. Everyday felt like 10 years. When you first go there, they watch you 24/7, sleeping, showering and go to the toilet etc. I lost all my dignity. After a few weeks, if you have behaved, they check your existence every 15 minutes. My favourite part of the day was lunch/dinner, because that was the only "activity" there was. I'm so happy to have my freedom back now, and my biggest fear is losing it again.

That sounds awful, I'm glad u made it out. Mental health care everywhere I guess has always been an oppressive institution. That was surprising to find out, as I assumed that these people were trained to help troubled people and fix or at least help u improve your situation. I suspect it's actually about screwing people up worse in many cases.

The people handing out the psych labels and drugs probably see us as defective because seeking mental health help means u can't conform to the insane systems we live under lol! Guess we're goin to mess u up further for being too sane and realizing the society around u doesn't make sense and u can't deal. Jus kidding! I don't know lol!

Glad you are ok. I've been close to being put in the psych ward too but I would say it was enhanced by some of the psych meds I was on.

 

[Bentley Goldman]

Went to a psychiatric hospital for 8 days it was terrible.

I was 18 when it happened and it took the life out of me.

One day I thought that I was being held against my will so I called the police and told them I had been taking hostage.

The employees grabbed me and held me down on the bed and stuck a needle in my arm.

 

[noonetoo]

Geezus, most of you seem to have had dreadful experiences, except @CFLoser, you had cookies! : )

It's been 11years ...(at 15 years old)
Was admitted 4 times between a 2 month period. It was mostly entertaining, however we were locked out from the outside world.

One particular stay was the worst.
2 weeks stay, it was the same activities everyday. Surrounded by like 10 or so other teenagers that were just as dramatic yet normal.
I remember more the other kids than the actual experience:

-A gang member that had inhaled spray paint as a drug and fainted, drugs had affected him a lot
-A skater that said he wished he could die skating, just ride his board and get hit by a bus, he was very friendly but depressed
-A girl who was bi-polar, cried a lot, hated her mom but she was nice
-Another girl that reminded me of Anne frank, said she was home schooled her entire life and depressed from being locked away from the outside world
-A guy that had anger issues and depression and I got along with really well since we had common interests but then I freaked out when he started writing me love notes
-My roommate who was a tomboy, raved and did drugs and had overdosed... she would torment me because I liked staying up late at night to read books but my night light bothered her

They would force us to write in journals there if we wanted to gain points for better privileges like a later bed time, more food from the cafeteria, more visiting time with family, more leisure, less cleaning duties. The main dreading of that place was my mean roommate and the same activities over and over again.
Wow, it took all these years to get over the song "Yellow" by Coldplay. They would make us play it with instruments and sing it over and over for 2 hours, everyday. The song sounds nice once again.

At the other hospital, I was admitted 3 times, at most for 5 days each time.
Better hospital, nicer staff, no extra privileges, luckily no music group. They did have activities but we had a choice if we wanted to join or just stay in our rooms.
My favorite was art group. I wish we would've had more time in it. I loved painting. It always went by the fastest.

Same thing here, the kids I met, I will never forget.

-A skinny 13 year old anorexic girl that weighed like 60 lbs, she had to have her own staff member help her walk, I remember seeing her cry because they had her on a special diet and were forcing her to eat. She drew beautiful drawings, she had given me one but unfortunately I threw out most of my belongings when I was planning suicide a year later
-Asian guy, told me his dad sexually abused him when he was 6 and his own older brother too for several years, he would explode in psychotic episodes, hitting himself really hard. One time we were all eating in the cafeteria quietly. He started slamming his head on the table, staff had to come running and restrain him. I asked him later why he would do that and he said because of the voices in his head. They would tell him to kill his little sister.
-another guy punched a hole in a wall & broke his hand, hated his dad. Had anger issues
-another guy with anger issues literally did punch a hole in the wall at the actual hospital, he got kicked out
-one roommate I had there, she inhaled keyboard duster and passed out
-another young girl had ran away from home on her birthday just for fun
-another girl, who I also had to be a roommate with, was always quiet. She never talked to anyone. She would stay up late at night making odd noises sitting up in her bed in the dark, making odd shapes with her hands like if she was catching things that were flying and squeezing them.
-a depressed guy who coincidentally went to the same high school as me, despite this huge city we live in of millions of people. Oddly afterward, saw him at school and waved to him but never saw him after that
-a boy with Down syndrome who had anger, he would run around the hospital and the staff had a hard time handling him

Out of my experiences, they weren't so bad but it was the other kids I had the pleasure of meeting that impacted me the most.
I'm not putting them on blast or trying to expose their stories, since the world is so big, it would be difficult for anyone to find out who they are. I didn't judge them. I cherish the fact that I crossed paths with them and wish I could find out what they were all up to now or if they were even alive. I doubt I'll ever get that opportunity and it truly saddens me. They made the time there go by quicker. I never saw anyone as crazy. We were all just broken kids with difficult childhoods and some, bad parents.

Sorry that I over expressed this. I have the habit of ranting when I get stuck into a mind thought. It's like going through the experience all over again. Wishing I could re-do everything, even though I have it better now, too many regrets and mistakes that would have never happened if I would've killed my self back then.

 

[SkyBlue]

A little more than 2 weeks of open ward for me. It was a mixed experience. Positive things were those doctors who patiently and respectfully listened to me, getting a break, and - very importantly - the right diagnosis. I am still impressed by that. Meeting the other people there was also an experience I value, whether they were nice or crazy or both.

On the other hand, personnel behaviour could be unpleasant at times. There was indeed a controlling, unempathetic or condescending vibe coming from a noticeable of the staff. One (unpopular) doctor was somehow upsetting to deal with, and one time grounded me for a day, after successfully asking me about suicidal thoughts, obviously enjoying this. One very young good looking nurse was 'the studious and vigorous one' to general public, but one or another time liked to tease me in some ill-mannered way. The male nursing officer was a creep, in the controlling way he talked to people, and stared during night checks.
It was in no way extreme or horror story-like (except what I witnessed of the closed ward). The whole thing was working, and I believe many people in the end received good treatment there. But some things didn't feel quite right.

I also really have to mention how tolerant they were with me not getting up in the morning on time and eating my meals later... feel bad for how 'naughty' I was back then.

Lastly, the adjacent closed ward. There were some strange creatures in it. And every evening on time, hell would break loose in it. It was scary! This is not a place you want to be in even normally, let alone in a psychical crisis. People survive it, but that's all I guess, lol.

But all in all, I would immediately go there again if my mental health should really spin out of control.

 

[Kyrok]

My wife was in one after a suicide attempt. We spent 2yrs going to doctors trying to figure out why she was fainting, throwing up, losing weight, extreme fatigue etc.. Tons of tests, etc.. No one figured it out and eventually she tried to ctb.

They put her in a psych ward, and after a day, her symptoms all went away: they didn't have a medicine in their pharmacy prescribed to her a few years prior. Saved her life. Turned out that the med she was on was the cause of all the symptoms.

When we figured that out, they released her the next day.

 

[406metallicblue]

Experience of a hospital in france. I have been twice for a total of 3 months in the recent past, the first time after a suicide attempt. Reading what others have written, the place was amazingly cool. I arrived at 10pm, was given a bed in a shared room and the next day a psychiatrist saw me and a nurse came to talk to me. There were activities such as art therapy and a workshop where you could go to make things from wood. They dosed me up heavily on tercian and prozac for a couple of weeks and decided i had bipolar disorder after various interviews and gave me quetapine. The checks on what you brought in and out were minimal. After a couple of months though i really wanted to get out

The food was excellent and the nurses mostly impeccable and caring. In the context of what psychiatric hospitals do in other places, and the way modern medicine goes about treating mental disorder, i would give it 5 stars. In terms of helping me they couldn't have done more, again in context. My friends outside now i have are mostly ex patients.

Nothing very much has changed but they tried to help me as best they could given the system. It gave me the time to see where i really am. When i ctb it won't be because of any treatment they gave me. Being on multiple medication makes me feel as though i have lost myself, but i already had that feeling before being admitted, and for sure i feel less horribly depressed. They are not miracle workers.

 

[Pentobartbital]

I went to the psychiatric ward voluntarily in a prominent city hospital twice. My first time there was incredible: I felt the staff were caring, interesting and deeply empathic. It was a healing experience with most of the patients being amazing company.

Six years later I visited the same ward and the quality of treatment had diminished significantly. The only consistent experiences from the last visit were the excellent meals and wonderful fellow patients. Surprisingly I had the psychiatrist from the previous visit and he was jaded and lightly condescending. The surfaces had been poorly sanitised and a kind of hanging grit had made an eerie contrast with the otherwise sterile appearance of the rest of the hospital. The nurses had been mostly aloof with one in particular clearly displeased with his choice of work.

When my designated psychiatrist went on leave, one of the poorer medics was substituted, a strange little man with hair visibly growing out of his ears. Under his "care" I was pushed out earlier than scheduled and waved aside in typical fashion.

A few months later in the midst of horrific withdrawal I tried going back and was sent away. The nurse who appraised me was rude and never lightened up until after it was decided I was rejected. The MD who came down to assess my need made disparaging remarks and left just as quickly as he came. Now when it's brought up that I should see a doctor or visit a ward, I think "I'd rather kill myself." Far less of a fuss.

 

[406metallicblue]

I went to the psychiatric ward voluntarily in a prominent city hospital twice. My first time there was incredible: I felt the staff were caring, interesting and deeply empathic. It was a healing experience with most of the patients being amazing company.

Six years later I visited the same ward and the quality of treatment had diminished significantly. The only consistent experiences from the last visit were the excellent meals and wonderful fellow patients. Surprisingly I had the psychiatrist from the previous visit and he was jaded and lightly condescending. The surfaces had been poorly sanitised and a kind of hanging grit had made an eerie contrast with the otherwise sterile appearance of the rest of the hospital. The nurses had been mostly aloof with one in particular clearly displeased with his choice of work.

When my designated psychiatrist went on leave, one of the poorer medics was substituted, a strange little man with hair visibly growing out of his ears. Under his "care" I was pushed out earlier than scheduled and waved aside in typical fashion.

A few months later in the midst of horrific withdrawal I tried going back and was sent away. The nurse who appraised me was rude and never lightened up until after it was decided I was rejected. The MD who came down to assess my need made disparaging remarks and left just as quickly as he came. Now when it's brought up that I should see a doctor or visit a ward, I think "I'd rather kill myself." Far less of a fuss.

Yes, i hate the idea of going back there. Not because it wasn't caring but because they have given me all they have to offer and it doesn't lead anywhere other then where i was going anyway. The conversation that is most honest with them, such as i don't want to live because of my existential situation, they have no real answer to apart from drug you and try to convince you that something better is possible. Been there done that. I think if i were to return, i'd be treated as a hopeless case and a failure from their medical point of view and the standards of care would diminish to the point where you'd be a unit and less of an optimistic case where ongoing treatment might bring you round. And institutionalised. I'd rather live out the rest of my days in freedom until the time comes.

I should also add that the daily care bill for the state was 600 euros/ 500 pounds. It's big business, they want people there to fill the place up.

 

[Roberto]

I was wonderful. I felt like being with the people I belong to.

 

[406metallicblue]

I've spent time in 3 different psychiatric units. Two were "open" where patients could have limited time outside depending on the severity of their condition.
The third was a secure unit with patients only being allowed controlled periods of release under supervision.
The first admission was some time ago and involved medical procedures such as forced refeeding using a NGT,bed rest and the use of heavy sedatives to control uncooperative patients. Things have changed so I'm not sure these things even occur anymore.
The secure ward is not a good place to be. Most patients are regarded as "dangerous" in some way and I felt unsafe for much of the time.
However,I'm fully aware that some of my behaviour probably had the same effect on those around me. The ability of the staff to control any genuinely high risk situation is something I seriously doubt. They barely managed to contol incidents involving a single person experiencing a crisis. Had multiple patients been involved,I have no idea how they would cope.
I also spent some time in prison,which felt much safer,despite the fact that the majority of inmates suffer some kind of mental illness. Strict procedures are in place to manage incidents of this kind.
Without a doubt,medication and television are the primary methods of control in a psychiatric unit. No doubt drooling residents gathered around the zombie box is a universal method employed across the field.

Yes, the mind numbing tv everywhere, there wasn't a single room where there was silence, even in the corridors there was some radio bulshit and at meal times the same. keep the loonies occupied.That's why i hate he idea of going back there. These places need completely overhauling... a quiet space for people to relax, listen to their music, draw or paint. Someone to come round once a week to give indian head massage to the patients. Let's face it, these places are not very holistic despite their good points. Could do better.

 

[kkatt]

Yes, the mind numbing tv everywhere, there wasn't a single room where there was silence, even in the corridors there was some radio bulshit and at meal times the same. keep the loonies occupied.That's why i hate he idea of going back there. These places need completely overhauling... a quiet space for people to relax, listen to their music, draw or paint. Someone to come round once a week to give indian head massage to the patients. Let's face it, these places are not very holistic despite their good points. Could do better.

I can only comment on provision in the UK,where we are struggling to maintain universal healthcare,free to all as required.
Inpatient services have been slashed to a point where overflow is filling prisons and the "Care in the community" policy has become "Care BY the community".
The few inpatient facilities are forced to prioritise. To decide how severe mental illness must be to warrant treatment.

 

[vaulthunter]

great breakfast, everything else was shitty. i watched the news all day long in my tiny prison cell room. the doors locked automatically, but mine was unlocked and a guard was outside watching us. i didn't really talk to anyone other than my nurse, i was kinda afraid of the other people in my ward. (there were only like 5 of us). i did and said what i had to so they'd discharge me, not what i really felt in general its not a great place for recovery—just becoming a robot with no sense of self. i was discharged to a mandatory month long PHP. overall didn't really help, and now i know i can't trust the hospital system for mental health needs

 

[tinynari]

i was voluntarily committed to a children's psychiatric ward after i attempted suicide and talked to my school counselor the next day with fresh SH cuts literally covering my entire body. was sent right away via ambulance (most awkward ride ever haha) and when i arrived i was extremely agitated and suicidal and they wanted to keep me. stayed for about a week, and honestly i would not want to go back :/ the hospital food was predictably awful, we had to follow a strict schedule (getting up at 7am everyday and taking a shower that you had to press a button every 20 seconds in order for it to keep working), and we were completely cut off from the outside world. we were on the top floor and i was in a room with a large window containing the view to the city, and i'd often sit on the radiator between the couch and the window and stare outside. the boredom was the worst, along with the lack of social interaction. the people were the best.

i have the most terrible memory but i still remember all the other patients extremely vividly— and i really liked all of them. it was just nice to feel like we all understood each other on some level. there were game nights where we'd have so much fun we'd be laughing and playing and for second i'd forget we were all committed mentally ill children :) met this sweet guy who had gone through the exact same experience as me (went to the same college and went crazy after two weeks of it) who i really liked talking to. he lent me a book from the ward's library (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) and i kept it with me and stole it from the hospital when i left.

i never had any romantic feelings for the guy but there was this awful night where one of the nurses didn't like how close we were getting. she pulled me aside on one game night and told me to remember where i was and not to get to close to other people. i've never felt such intense dislike towards a stranger before, and mind you that night me and him had 2-3 brief two minute conversations in between rounds of a game we were playing. i cried that entire night and i lost all will to participate and get something out of my stay after that. honestly writing and reading was my only saviour in there, when i got bored i'd read books and if i got tired of that i'd just write. would recommend anyone who went to a psych ward to bring a notebook with them.

 

[esclava]

I still have nightmares of the two weeks I spent in thought crime jail. Never again

 

[AveryConure]

The last time I had to go in wasn't horrible until unfortunately one of my alters came out and basically threatened to stab my roommate for some fucking reason and I was sent to the ICU which sucked ass cause I felt unsafe cause some chick kept trying to get into my room and for a while I was not allowed to go to group therapy which I felt kind of defeated the purpose of getting help in the first place. I ended up manipulating a shitty doctor I hated just to go back to the main ward and then to get out cause at that point there wasn't much more they could do anyways.

Now that I got an official diagnosis of DID guess if I ever somehow get in that situation again guess I would have to try to at least convince that alter to try not to go back to the ICU unit. It fucking sucked and just seemed really pointless unless again you're severely autistic and just waiting for a group home or whatever.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Up to age 19, I'd only ever spent perhaps a single day in a hospital, when I broke my wrist and needed an operation. Unfortunately, I now have the experience of being hospitalised 4 times, the first time while in the Netherlands and 3 times in the UK since then. I totally agree with your statement that hospitals in the UK are in some ways as bad as/worse than prison.

I don't remember a lot about the Netherlands, you can imagine how confusing it is to have a bad reaction to a synthetic cannabinoid, then be sedated in an airport and end up in a hospital with a lot of psychiatric patients speaking Dutch. I don't think I even knew I was in a hospital. When I got home from that, I wasn't sectioned immediately but my parents weren't aware of how bad psychiatric wards are so when I wasn't getting better (I was going stir crazy because they were trying to keep me safe by keeping me inside the house more or less all the time), they thought it would help to have me sectioned.

My life hasn't recovered since. Nobody really explained what was going on, and I was very quickly taken out of my surroundings without getting to bring anything with me (no clothes etc) and placed in an environment that managed to mix utter emptiness and monotony with bursts of extreme chaos. I think I've blocked out a lot of the experiences from that particular time, but there were loud beeping noises all the time, strangers appearing at a window in the door doing "checks" (so no privacy) every 15 minutes when you first arrive, artificial light all the time. Not a nice environment. I was there for a month.

The second time, I was actually transported from the place I'd been (not where I lived) to a hospital closer to home, but they decided they needed to lock me in a cage during the entire 4 hour journey, rather than take me in a normal ambulance. I have no idea what kind of ambulance that is, but for someone in a vulnerable state, you wouldn't think locking them in a cage despite exhibiting no protest or aggression, would be necessary. I arrived there after this weird journey, with no phone or way to contact anyone, since they took my bag and for some reason wouldn't let me have it. That was also a terrible experience, but slightly less bad than the first one. I was there for a month too.

Where it really gets bad is the last (and hopefully final) time, last October, I was sectioned after moving to a different city. Needless to say, the move didn't work out and I was taken to another hospital where staff allowed me to be taken advantage of by a strange, older man when I was first admitted, because they weren't safeguarding patients and I was delirious and not really aware of anything. Then because that happened, they moved me to an all female ward, which is the most prison-like environment I've ever been in, and very unhygienic. There was one toilet shared between about ten people, that spat water (and whatever was in it) every time it was flushed, the shower was very dirty, the staff allowed a woman who was menstruating everywhere to walk bleed on the floor and on furniture sometimes. I was sick one time and a member off staff shouted at me and I had to clean it up. People would throw milk all over the kitchen. Two other women were blocking my door and staring at me during the night, and when I pressed the help button, the member of staff shouted at me for calling her and said that she would refuse to give me water until morning (there was no access to water except small bottles that staff could give.) It's hard to recall everything negative that happened. There were one or two very kind people who worked there, but it was mainly a very scary experience. There was one member of staff who actually made weird animal noises if you asked her anything, sort of barking at patients in response.

Because there are no security cameras in these places, staff can do whatever they want and claim that patients are delusional if staff don't do their job properly or are abusive. I saw lots of patients left in very compromising and vulnerable positions by the inattentive staff. Even if there were security cameras, I'm sure that the tapes would go missing if anything happens as these places are inherently corrupt and have unethical management.

 

[clover___]

I found it really distressing, mainly due to social anxiety. I barely ate since meals were shared, I missed my loved ones terribly, I struggled with sleep since people were always making noise at night and I was just generally an anxious wreck. I was only there for a week or so after an attempt, haven't been back since. It struck me as much more like a prison than a place of recovery, I didn't receive any kind of therapy during my stay.

 

[justabouttobedone]

I stayed there for about two weeks. It was an extremely boring experience. There was no stimulator at all, and doctors talked me just once a week and it was like 15 minutes each. I just slept all the day on couch and took my meds, that's all. I don't want to return there again.

 

[EllaBella]

Twice... Both for an ED and suicidal ideation. First at (12) for about 6-7 months. It was a large manor house with questionable staff and their support tactics could be very violent and inhumane. There were a lot of immigrant agency workers there too (common within UK hospitality) they didn't understand the extent of the psychological afflictions of patients. It was just a traumatising experience, and trying to distance yourself from that would cause shaming from said staff, who encouraged socialising despite the rampant amount of negative influences on the ward. Therapy was difficult

Second time was laughable, (17) stayed for 5 months. Place was pretty safe but disorderly, the staff allowed a lot of incidents to be swept under the rug and we weren't permitted to enter each others rooms unlike the first place where almost everyone had a roommate. The staff felt more like friends than professional trustees. At least there wasn't as much restraining going on in this instance.. Barely any therapy, some patients were actually ignored because of behavioural issues. It was a bad time.