I'm so afraid of trying and failing. But I was curious to read your stories and why do you think it all went wrong?
MaybeMaybeKnot
No ctrl-z when you ctb
- Oct 25, 2019
- 339
I was going to go hang myself somewhere away from home while my family was asleep. To help, I decided to take all the Xanax I'd been hoarding. Unfortunately, I took the Xanax in the bathroom and didn't make it to the front door. My wife found me snoring and laughing on the floor. My note was safety-pinned to my shirt. She was mad and I was incoherent. But next time, I'll get it right.
I tried partial hanging twice. I didn't become unconscious, but only choked myself. Couldn't handle the pain, so I quit. I still don't know what the reason was.
Before, I took paracetamol. Was extremely painful. As I read, it is a common way people try to ctb, but most survive because you would have to take an extremely high amount of pills. Very unpleasant art to die because of liver failure.
Before, I took paracetamol. Was extremely painful. As I read, it is a common way people try to ctb, but most survive because you would have to take an extremely high amount of pills. Very unpleasant art to die because of liver failure.
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
OD'd. Forgot the super was coming to fix something. He found me.
LMLN
Paragon
- Aug 10, 2019
- 929
NeCkDeEp
Experienced
- Nov 30, 2019
- 285
My first attempt was trying to hang myself with a belt but couldn't find the sweet spot to pass out.
Second attempt was OD. I passed out but only to vomit and felt really bad after that, probably bc I used paracetamols and that soft stuff.
I don't know or the third one counts as an attempt? I was waiting at the train track to get smashed by a train, a lady saw me and dragged me away from there and threated me with calling the police.
Fourth attempt was yesterday, my attempt with SN failed because I believed the prescription which is the right one (sodium nitrate nano2 e50 99,9%) and didn't do any further research after I received a response from the seller. The label said 'nitrate' instead of 'nitrite', sent a private message to the seller and he replied that it's chile saltpeter. Saltpeter is nano3.
In all honesty I'm not scared at all after these failed attempts, I will keep trying until I succeed.
Second attempt was OD. I passed out but only to vomit and felt really bad after that, probably bc I used paracetamols and that soft stuff.
I don't know or the third one counts as an attempt? I was waiting at the train track to get smashed by a train, a lady saw me and dragged me away from there and threated me with calling the police.
Fourth attempt was yesterday, my attempt with SN failed because I believed the prescription which is the right one (sodium nitrate nano2 e50 99,9%) and didn't do any further research after I received a response from the seller. The label said 'nitrate' instead of 'nitrite', sent a private message to the seller and he replied that it's chile saltpeter. Saltpeter is nano3.
In all honesty I'm not scared at all after these failed attempts, I will keep trying until I succeed.
My most serious attempt failed because I tied the scarf to low and after I stepped down I actually could reach the floor.
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Tried Pong Pong seeds. Never do that. Anyone.
Ended up in the ICU for 5 days. Externally paced for a while.. Basically, they were shocking me to keep my heart rate up. At 60 times a minute (or something like that). Not fun. In the ICU, my heart went into disrhythmia again, almost needed to get shocked again. They managed things until the poison was out of my system.
Funny thing: Piedmont docs didn't figure out I tried to CTB. They knew something funny happened, but nothing they asked or tested for pointed to ctb. I'm sure some in town are still scratching their noggins.
Ended up in the ICU for 5 days. Externally paced for a while.. Basically, they were shocking me to keep my heart rate up. At 60 times a minute (or something like that). Not fun. In the ICU, my heart went into disrhythmia again, almost needed to get shocked again. They managed things until the poison was out of my system.
Funny thing: Piedmont docs didn't figure out I tried to CTB. They knew something funny happened, but nothing they asked or tested for pointed to ctb. I'm sure some in town are still scratching their noggins.
isam
Member
- Dec 11, 2019
- 91
I took 80 pills, mix of 2 benzos, 2 antiDP, and tramadol.
My friends and familly received my goodbye text 9 hours later, that's how they knew and then found me.
I just slept 3,5 days at the hospital, and then have been sent in psych ward 2 weeks. But actually this was the best 3,5 days of my life.
My friends and familly received my goodbye text 9 hours later, that's how they knew and then found me.
I just slept 3,5 days at the hospital, and then have been sent in psych ward 2 weeks. But actually this was the best 3,5 days of my life.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Does travelling to Beachy Head and looking over the edge count as a failed attempt? Prob not! i guess u would have to jump and survive for it to be classed as such!
MaybeMaybeKnot
No ctrl-z when you ctb
- Oct 25, 2019
- 339
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Nah they were up there, they literally ignored me! & I was on my own-crying,make-up all down my face-drinking, climbed over the littlerope thing and was right on the edge, was there for ages- they just glanced over but were just chatting amongst themselves,laughing and stuff, lol! I prob should have taken that as a sign to jump, i was too chicken
MaybeMaybeKnot
No ctrl-z when you ctb
- Oct 25, 2019
- 339
So you did more than drive and look over the edge... Sounds like you had kind of a practice run. I'm shocked they left you alone, but I'm glad they did.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
i dont drive- the first day i went to brighton but all the trains were cancelled so i stayed over night, then went next day-then got a train part of the way, a coach and a taxi & walked for ages!! no joke! took fliipin ages to get there-too much time to build up to & get nervous ya know
MaybeMaybeKnot
No ctrl-z when you ctb
- Oct 25, 2019
- 339
Wow. I didn't realize it was such a trek for you. You were probably exhausted, physically and emotionally.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Yeah it was very draining, god i felt so pathetic trudging back down the hill alone and crying-people out there having family strolls and walking their dogs and stuff, smiling away at the view :(
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
I think they are there a fair amount of the time yeah, maybe there is a website you can check it on-they call them the chaplaincy team
PetiteAngel
Member
- Dec 12, 2019
- 60
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
I think its kinda world famous, yeah there has been plenty of posts on it on here before (not surprising i guess! ha)
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Called 911. SI kicked in. They were going to Pace me right there. Ugh. Fortunately, I got a reprieve.
