I had big dreams for Picking Up The Pieces in my 20s :,) it feels like I missed out on so much of what other people learned through adolescence, I can't even begin that process of trying to build some sort of life for myself.
Giving up that idea of "catching up" to peers was so, so painful. Being a loser in high school sort of sets you up for that "I'll show them!" fantasy where you'll end up wildly successful in some capacity as an adult and then all the pain and loneliness will have meant something.
God this sucks.