Hello all,
I am new here. Hopefully I am in the right place. Anyways, I'll start out by saying this year has been absolutely terrible for me and my immediate family. At the beginning of the year, I lost my job due to extreme depression. I couldn't for the life of me get out of bed in the morning to do anything. I stopped eating and lost somewhere between 10-15 pounds in nearly 2 weeks. I ran through what very little money I had in my checking account and even my 401k just to keep my rent and bills paid. Nearly 2 months later, I landed another similar job to the one I previously lost. During my time of unemployment, I did absolutely nothing but sit inside of my apartment and play video games, but mainly I slept all day because I was so depressed. I will also state that at the beginning of the year, my dad found out that he had stage 4 rapid cell lung cancer. That also put such stress on me as my dad and I were so close. Anyways, my new job ended up not going so well. During this short duration, my dad was in and out of the hospital. I was fighting with my employer to give me some leeway so I could see my dad and be there for him. I worked on my own going from gas station to gas station filling coolers all day. Some days, I would leave early without finishing a stop just so I could go see him. I was working anywhere from 10-14 hour days. It was miserable. Anyways, one morning, I woke up late and slept through my alarm. I was woken up by my supervisor who called me and asked where I was. I had let him know I was on my way to my first stop. I clocked in at my apartment on my work provided phone. I am not allowed to do so, BUT my supervisor would occasionally let me if he didn't know where to send me yet. Apparently, my supervisor had found out I clocked in at my house, and warned me that it was "a company violation and that my employment might be affected by this." Anyways, this was on a Friday. I finished my day and went to go see my dad. Next week comes, I work 4 days (2 half days due to hospital visits that I was given the ok to do) and I was texted Thursday night to come to the plant the following morning. Friday morning comes, and I already know what's up. I was let go. Knowing what I was going through, my supervisor said "we just have to part ways. It's not working out. And also, because of you clocking in at home." Immediately after leaving, I started to panic. What in the world do I do now? I literally have no money and there's no possible way I can pay all of my bills at the end of the month. I ended up looking online and saw that a previous employer I had worked for several years ago was hiring. I applied, got the online interview, and was hired "on the spot." I told them, I'd start the following week for orientation and training. Well, things got worse. My dad's condition deteriorated rapidly. He was told by doctors that there was no way his body could fight this cancer and that hospice was really his only option. Well, he went into hospice care where he quickly took a downward spiral. He lost consciousness, and barely 2 days after being admitted into hospice care, he passed away with me and a few others by his side. He passed the day after Father's Day. I had brought him a father's day card that he never got the chance to see. So originally, I was suppose to start my new job the day after my dad passed, but I let my new employer know I needed another week due to my dad's passing which they understood and let me do so. I ended up starting my new job the day after his funeral. Now, I am currently unable to get ahead due to not having any money at all. I can't save anything because my rent is so extremely high and I have so much debt due to having to take out a couple of personal loans just so I wouldn't lose my apartment. I am enrolled in a debt payoff program, but I have yet to make a payment towards it because I have no money at the end of the month. My entire pay check every single week is gone that day or the following day because I am so far behind. It hurts because at one point, I had money. I had at least 7-8k saved up that I blew through in a matter of nearly 2 years. I will note that during this time, I have a nephew who absolutely adores me and has been such a blessing to have around. My older sister (half blood) had let him come stay with me for nearly 2 weeks during his summer vacation because she felt bad for me and didn't want me to be alone. He was such a blessing to have during this time, but Immediately after, she started to act differently towards me. She would not let me see him. She would not let me come over to talk or anything. She put so much bad information in his head and eventually, he stopped talking to me. A month and a half goes by, and I finally get a chance to talk to her. She states that "everyone is having a hard time right now" and that my nephew "is her child and she can do whatever she wants". Ever since I had moved out, my nephew wanted to come over to hang out. His mom was ok with it until my dad (her step dad) had passed away. I finally got to see him and have him this past Friday. We both were extremely happy and before he left yesterday, he had cried into my chest while hugging me because he didn't want to go home as he was scared that he might not see me for awhile. This made my heart sink. I felt the love.
Anyways, now that I've gotten you guys an insight into my life and situation, things just seem to get worse. My dad's passing and my sister keeping my nephew from me has absolutely destroyed me. My money situation just adds insult to injury. I'm frustrated with my current job because I work during the weekends. I want to be able to have the weekends off, but I can't. Seems like every job I've ever had, I have to work weekends. I've missed out on so much because I am always working and I almost never have any time to do what I want. I just want to be happy. I want to see my nephew. I want to have money in my checking account so I don't have to worry every single day about how I'm going to pay rent or how I'm going to pay my bills. I've had to sell quite a few personal belongings of mine just to make rent. I also feel so bad for my mother because my dad left her in such a bad predicament. She is at risk of losing the house, and SS took back her money due to finding out about my dads passing. She is now negative 2,000+ in their joint checking account, and the mortgage payment is due in a few days. She has no money now and my heart is absolutely crushed. My twin sister still lives at home and does NOTHING but stay at home all day with her 5 year old son. She doesn't drive, work, or do much of anything. My mom has the burden of taking care of her and she is almost 30.
Nothing is going right. This year has been terrible and it just seems like it's getting worse. I've been having suicidal thoughts for months, (actually years since I was 14 on and off) and when I bring this up to family, I am told to "stop talking like that." "Nothing is wrong with you." "Everyone is going through a hard time." "You are a man and men don't do that." I hear nothing but excuses. No one offers to listen to my problems. I've just had it. I barely got out of bed this morning to go to work. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm not happy and I spend most of my days lately sleeping and laying in my bed after i get home. I stopped eating. I don't do anything I used to love doing. I've completely given up. My only happiness was when my dad was still alive, and my nephew that I am no longer able to see as much. I have been genuinely happy and content with life at times, but now it just seems like a nightmare.
I am new here. Hopefully I am in the right place. Anyways, I'll start out by saying this year has been absolutely terrible for me and my immediate family. At the beginning of the year, I lost my job due to extreme depression. I couldn't for the life of me get out of bed in the morning to do anything. I stopped eating and lost somewhere between 10-15 pounds in nearly 2 weeks. I ran through what very little money I had in my checking account and even my 401k just to keep my rent and bills paid. Nearly 2 months later, I landed another similar job to the one I previously lost. During my time of unemployment, I did absolutely nothing but sit inside of my apartment and play video games, but mainly I slept all day because I was so depressed. I will also state that at the beginning of the year, my dad found out that he had stage 4 rapid cell lung cancer. That also put such stress on me as my dad and I were so close. Anyways, my new job ended up not going so well. During this short duration, my dad was in and out of the hospital. I was fighting with my employer to give me some leeway so I could see my dad and be there for him. I worked on my own going from gas station to gas station filling coolers all day. Some days, I would leave early without finishing a stop just so I could go see him. I was working anywhere from 10-14 hour days. It was miserable. Anyways, one morning, I woke up late and slept through my alarm. I was woken up by my supervisor who called me and asked where I was. I had let him know I was on my way to my first stop. I clocked in at my apartment on my work provided phone. I am not allowed to do so, BUT my supervisor would occasionally let me if he didn't know where to send me yet. Apparently, my supervisor had found out I clocked in at my house, and warned me that it was "a company violation and that my employment might be affected by this." Anyways, this was on a Friday. I finished my day and went to go see my dad. Next week comes, I work 4 days (2 half days due to hospital visits that I was given the ok to do) and I was texted Thursday night to come to the plant the following morning. Friday morning comes, and I already know what's up. I was let go. Knowing what I was going through, my supervisor said "we just have to part ways. It's not working out. And also, because of you clocking in at home." Immediately after leaving, I started to panic. What in the world do I do now? I literally have no money and there's no possible way I can pay all of my bills at the end of the month. I ended up looking online and saw that a previous employer I had worked for several years ago was hiring. I applied, got the online interview, and was hired "on the spot." I told them, I'd start the following week for orientation and training. Well, things got worse. My dad's condition deteriorated rapidly. He was told by doctors that there was no way his body could fight this cancer and that hospice was really his only option. Well, he went into hospice care where he quickly took a downward spiral. He lost consciousness, and barely 2 days after being admitted into hospice care, he passed away with me and a few others by his side. He passed the day after Father's Day. I had brought him a father's day card that he never got the chance to see. So originally, I was suppose to start my new job the day after my dad passed, but I let my new employer know I needed another week due to my dad's passing which they understood and let me do so. I ended up starting my new job the day after his funeral. Now, I am currently unable to get ahead due to not having any money at all. I can't save anything because my rent is so extremely high and I have so much debt due to having to take out a couple of personal loans just so I wouldn't lose my apartment. I am enrolled in a debt payoff program, but I have yet to make a payment towards it because I have no money at the end of the month. My entire pay check every single week is gone that day or the following day because I am so far behind. It hurts because at one point, I had money. I had at least 7-8k saved up that I blew through in a matter of nearly 2 years. I will note that during this time, I have a nephew who absolutely adores me and has been such a blessing to have around. My older sister (half blood) had let him come stay with me for nearly 2 weeks during his summer vacation because she felt bad for me and didn't want me to be alone. He was such a blessing to have during this time, but Immediately after, she started to act differently towards me. She would not let me see him. She would not let me come over to talk or anything. She put so much bad information in his head and eventually, he stopped talking to me. A month and a half goes by, and I finally get a chance to talk to her. She states that "everyone is having a hard time right now" and that my nephew "is her child and she can do whatever she wants". Ever since I had moved out, my nephew wanted to come over to hang out. His mom was ok with it until my dad (her step dad) had passed away. I finally got to see him and have him this past Friday. We both were extremely happy and before he left yesterday, he had cried into my chest while hugging me because he didn't want to go home as he was scared that he might not see me for awhile. This made my heart sink. I felt the love.
Anyways, now that I've gotten you guys an insight into my life and situation, things just seem to get worse. My dad's passing and my sister keeping my nephew from me has absolutely destroyed me. My money situation just adds insult to injury. I'm frustrated with my current job because I work during the weekends. I want to be able to have the weekends off, but I can't. Seems like every job I've ever had, I have to work weekends. I've missed out on so much because I am always working and I almost never have any time to do what I want. I just want to be happy. I want to see my nephew. I want to have money in my checking account so I don't have to worry every single day about how I'm going to pay rent or how I'm going to pay my bills. I've had to sell quite a few personal belongings of mine just to make rent. I also feel so bad for my mother because my dad left her in such a bad predicament. She is at risk of losing the house, and SS took back her money due to finding out about my dads passing. She is now negative 2,000+ in their joint checking account, and the mortgage payment is due in a few days. She has no money now and my heart is absolutely crushed. My twin sister still lives at home and does NOTHING but stay at home all day with her 5 year old son. She doesn't drive, work, or do much of anything. My mom has the burden of taking care of her and she is almost 30.
Nothing is going right. This year has been terrible and it just seems like it's getting worse. I've been having suicidal thoughts for months, (actually years since I was 14 on and off) and when I bring this up to family, I am told to "stop talking like that." "Nothing is wrong with you." "Everyone is going through a hard time." "You are a man and men don't do that." I hear nothing but excuses. No one offers to listen to my problems. I've just had it. I barely got out of bed this morning to go to work. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm not happy and I spend most of my days lately sleeping and laying in my bed after i get home. I stopped eating. I don't do anything I used to love doing. I've completely given up. My only happiness was when my dad was still alive, and my nephew that I am no longer able to see as much. I have been genuinely happy and content with life at times, but now it just seems like a nightmare.
