this world is frankly fucked up and like many of you i am tired and just don’t care that i dont now care anymore.

[ever so lonely]

i was scrolling the net earlier as you do, just mindlessly scrolling reddit, as i so often do, maybe you can relate, not looking for anything in particular, searching various sub reddits, just tired of living, as always, overwhelmed, as always, still with my sn if it gets to be just too damn much, feeling utterly tired of this bollocks, when i came by a thread of a very very gnarly suicide, i am talking absolutely ghastly to look at, bless her, she is known on reddit as *soup girl* ikr pretty fucking insulting if you ask me, i think they called her that for a reason tho, i would advise not looking it up if you are squeamish, and want to sleep well, if you can, i stumbled upon it by mere accident, i mean i aint that squeamish as a general rule but this fucked me up to see for a day or two, she was so alone that nobody even cared she was gone, till her decomposing body started reeking that is, this has to be a slur against our societies surely, then neighbours complained and the clean up crew had to go in, there is no backstory on who she was, as a person, none, nor where it took place or even what country, although it is estimated this happened mid 90s its a very old case, i beleiebe i had stumbled on some type of suicide sub reddit where it isnt encouraged per se but openly discussed, some type of morbid sub reddit even, it also dawned on me how alone most of us are here in relation to that poor woman, i mean she felt so alone to want to kill herself, went through with it, only for then nobody to give two fucks, about her absence, till she literal began to stink, it rams home how fucked this world is, regardless of how others dont want to hear it, and how some alone some of us truly be, i also dont believe being alone by itself says anything about us as individuals, some of us put ourselves in that boat by alienating those around us willingly, or cutting many bad influences from our lives, and correctly so, over time, the fact is far too many of us find ourselves alone for it to ever be a slur against us as individuals, it used to be just the elderly in this position now it's younger generations alone too, if you look at the rates for those who describe being utter lonely or cut off and isolated in the uk alone it is pretty shocking reading, so it could never be an individual slight against our names, maybe we just perceive it this way, anyhoo this womans story was so tragic i felt the need to share it, the thread had what appeared to be what she looked like in life and then the death pictures, it was night and day, honestly, it was up there with the worst shit i have ever seen, and i now wished i hadn't to be fair i could have done without seeing that, as suicidal as i is seeing it up close is just i dunno, at least she isnt suffering anymore nor will any of us if we tread that path i guess, honestly absolutely heart wrenching, then it dawns on you just how fucked this world is, and how in denial we truly are, i was almost too tired and mental fatigued to write this what with anxiety and ptsd kicking my arse lately, just wanted to get her story out there, and that is enough internet for me for the day me thinks, so in closing whoever she was she mattered to somebody, she was somebodies daughter aunt or sister, perhaps even a mother who knows, now she is reduced to being gawked at on gore and morbid sub reddits remembered for her death more than the life she lived, the stresses she no doubt had the anxieties, it repulses me peoples, this whole goddamn existence repulses me and makes me angry i even have to endure it, till ctb, anybody else ?.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Absolutely understand your reaction. I haven't come across this story. However, I did see a documentary about a woman who I think died of natural causes in her flat but wasn't found for a year. The TV had been on that whole time... SO sad. Can't remember all the details but she wasn't that old. At one point, she had many friends. They interviewed an ex boyfriend and you could tell he was really upset. In more recent years, she had gotten involved with a really manipulative piece of work (shit) who had effectively issolated her from her friends and family and then left her I guess.

You're right- there are SO many lonely people in this world- for all sorts of different reasons. It really is so sad when things like this happen.

I know it's annonymous and all but this place somehow reassures me a bit that some of our voices will at least have been heard before we disappear. I also feel the same as you- that although their deaths were tragic, at least they are at peace now. It's a rotten testament to how uncaring our society is but at least they don't know about it when they're gone.

 

[FuneralCry]

This world really is an incredibly horrific place and that is undeniable, I've always despised existing and seen it as being something so useless which just leads to unnecessary suffering being experienced. Hearing about of all the torture that living beings endure certainly makes the thought of non existence sound even more appealing, there's nothing desirable about existing and having the ability to be aware of this world. I so envy those who are free from it all, whenever I hear of a successful ctb I always wish that it's me.

 

[ever so lonely]

honest peeps it is so gut wrenching, and just so so vile that somebody somewhere felt the need to take pics of her like that (maybe the clean up crew) and then post them to the internet it kinda reminds me of the porsche girl case, where police circulated pictures of her mangled corpse online, so disrespectful honestly, those police were fired thank god, but then the family were taunted for years by trolls, honest peeps you are bang in the money this world is so so messed up, thanks for your comments too i appreciate it, sometimes it nice to have dialogue and talk being as lonely as most of us are

 

[Rogue Proxy]

"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone."
- Orson Welles

For certain individuals, it isn't the absence of human contact that causes loneliness and isolation. Even the constant presence of and interactions with humans can engender those feelings and situations.

There have always been individuals who die alone and forgotten throughout history. In fact, countless human deaths will eventually be completely irretrievable from memories and records alike.

 

[ever so lonely]

true, true, very true, don't make it any less fucked up tho, i guess each of us are built different tho, i hear ya on that you can be surrounded by people but if there no commonality or ignorant you dont fit in in the conventional sense, thanks for the quote too, i had never heard that before, i guess if we dont fit in tho to our environment the result is similar, loneliness, environment is a key factor do you think ?, like i have heard how people who emigrate to other countries abroad some have trouble getting on in life, others dont, i guess loneliness is just multi faceted man, i know it well, i am guessing you do too ?, dying alone doesnt sound so bad, no expectations to live upto etc.

 

[ikdwhattothinjof]

i think ive seen what you are talking abt.. but im not sure, was she in a bathtub? i know its not going to be possible with suicide, but its my wish to be cremated straight away, dont want to decompose. im not gonna feel it, but its so disgusting. humans are just fragile bags of meat, bones, gross liquids and a vulnerable consciousness slapped on top.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

true, true, very true, don't make it any less fucked up tho, i guess each of us are built different tho, i hear ya on that you can be surrounded by people but if there no commonality or ignorant you dont fit in in the conventional sense, thanks for the quote too, i had never heard that before, i guess if we dont fit in tho to our environment the result is similar, loneliness, environment is a key factor do you think ?, like i have heard how people who emigrate to other countries abroad some have trouble getting on in life, others dont, i guess loneliness is just multi faceted man, i know it well, i am guessing you do too ?, dying alone doesnt sound so bad, no expectations to live upto etc.

I have contemplated whether loneliness is primarily instinctual, a learned behavior, a combination of the two, or if this varies between person to person. Therefore, it's questionable whether the environment is always the key factor for everyone.

Indeed, there are different types of loneliness, though the number and categories range between sources.

Psychological and social needs do differ between individuals. There are some who experience little to no desire, pleasure, or benefits from human interactions. Some who are greatly fulfilled by the companionship of animals, plants, inanimate objects, fictional characters, and/or imaginary companions instead of humans. There are even asocial individuals with absolutely no social drive whatsoever. Again, solitude doesn't always result in loneliness.

 

[Wannagonow]

Absolutely understand your reaction. I haven't come across this story. However, I did see a documentary about a woman who I think died of natural causes in her flat but wasn't found for a year. The TV had been on that whole time... SO sad. Can't remember all the details but she wasn't that old. At one point, she had many friends. They interviewed an ex boyfriend and you could tell he was really upset. In more recent years, she had gotten involved with a really manipulative piece of work (shit) who had effectively issolated her from her friends and family and then left her I guess.

You're right- there are SO many lonely people in this world- for all sorts of different reasons. It really is so sad when things like this happen.

I know it's annonymous and all but this place somehow reassures me a bit that some of our voices will at least have been heard before we disappear. I also feel the same as you- that although their deaths were tragic, at least they are at peace now. It's a rotten testament to how uncaring our society is but at least they don't know about it when they're gone.

I also saw the documentary of the woman not found for a year. Very sad. It absolutely is a reflection of how uncaring our society is. Again, very sad.

 

[Unending]

I'm familiar with the picture that you're referring to. Knowing what human decomposition can be like, especially in wet conditions, truly makes me want to be cremated. I think it is worthwhile to set up some kind of delayed message to whoever (the authorities?), to avoid something like this. I guess one would just have to be sure that their attempt wouldn't fail if they were going to do this.

I feel really sad that she went through god knows what just to be disrespected like that. It's also really upsetting that people who are interested watching gore can't at least be respectful in the comments. Fuck all the immature assholes who get an ego boost out of intentionally disrespecting the deceased. Of course, she is not around to read the comments but still, it's just fucked up on principle.

At least she is in peace now.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm familiar with the picture that you're referring to. Knowing what human decomposition can be like, especially in wet conditions, truly makes me want to be cremated. I think it is worthwhile to set up some kind of delayed message to whoever (the authorities?), to avoid something like this. I guess one would just have to be sure that their attempt wouldn't fail if they were going to do this.

I feel really sad that she went through god knows what just to be disrespected like that. It's also really upsetting that people who are interested watching gore can't at least be respectful in the comments. Fuck all the immature assholes who get an ego boost out of intentionally disrespecting the deceased. Of course, she is not around to read the comments but still, it's just fucked up on principle.

At least she is in peace now.

Yes, agreed- a delayed email 1-2 days later seems wise. Hopefully- if the attempt failed, we would be in an ok enough state to cancel it before it sent.

Think it sounds like email providers scan emails though for keywords like 'suicide'- so- perhaps an attachment to the email would be better.