Venting "This too shall pass"

[OptingOutSmiling]

One of those quotes that gets to me … Someone said to me today, that his favourite quote is, "This too shall pass", after hearing that nothing has been going right for me for some time, and I'm battling financially. Of course, the person has no financial stresses.

How would you respond? While it's also true that in the end, everything passes into nothingness, I felt like saying, "It better well f*ckn pass soon", thinking it will be the end of me soon, and how small minded and inconsiderate it seemed to say that, from my perspective. I'm sure it was meant well, but when in the dumps, and things keep on getting worse, do we really need a reminder of how bad things are and that it could very well pass into more wrongness?

It's similar to, "When life gives you lemons… " or "What doesn't kill you… " Sometimes we really don't need more lemons or more lessons in getting stronger.

I just feel that if we haven't been in someone else's shoes, it's best not to offer these "pearls of wisdom".

 

[Pluto]

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

View attachment 162399

Love it, thanks for making me smile

 

[Sleeper System]

Sounds like you take zero accountability for your part in that unpleasant interaction. Vetting people before you confide in them would go a long way in avoiding disagreeable advice. Not everyone shares your view point and you can't blame them for what they believe would sooth their own unease if they were in your shoes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep things to yourself. A valuable lesson indeed.

Unrelated, I know a girl who has that phrase tattooed on her chest. She is always doing bad. It's nice to have some hope... even if ultimately it doesn't help.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I didn't want it to pass. I wanted my michi to come back, my beautiful kitten, my Natalia, or to just fucking leave this world. I waited, it is passing, but life is still the same shit. Thanks for nothing, life, fuck you.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Sounds like you take zero accountability for your part in that unpleasant interaction. Vetting people before you confide in them would go a long way in avoiding disagreeable advice. Not everyone shares your view point and you can't blame them for what they believe would sooth their own unease if they were in your shoes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep things to yourself. A valuable lesson indeed.

Unrelated, I know a girl who has that phrase tattooed on her chest. She is always doing bad. It's nice to have some hope... even if ultimately it doesn't help.

Good advice. If someone knows I've been going for job interviews, and asks about it, I can't say I'm employed if not. If I haven't had any income for some time, I also can't say that everything is going well if not. I just answered questions and as I say his advice was meant well, my response was "thank you". I would never use the phrase myself though, because I know how it makes me feel when I'm trying my hardest and keep on failing.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

I've also been getting frustrated with these cliché lines following the death of my partner. People telling me "there's light at the end of the tunnel", "you'll learn to laugh again soon", "this is just a blip in the road" don't realise how much I don't want to hear it. I know they mean well, but it's hard not to recognise that they're just saying what they think they should say. I know there is a life after what I've experienced, but it's not a life I want any part of. Of course I can't say that to anyone, but it's the truth.

 

[grapevoid]

It'll pass… like a kidney stone.
My dad once said that to me.. it'll pass like a f*ckin kidney stone, but it WILL pass. I still think of it whenever I hear that phrase hahaha

 

[Hollowman]

It'll pass when I pass away.

 

[steveholt]

Its a phrase i got used to hereing during a rehab stint .. it come from an old saying about be ambiguas and if i remeber right .. its actually goes back to a two headed larma .. the choice of two ideas and decisions and the that there are allways two paths to choose...⅕

 

[Ligottian]

People who say this don't realize they are saying the good things will pass as well.

 

[pauly369]

I despise those quotes of toxic posotivity.
Just because some people are happy in this fucked - up world doesnt mean that others have to be deluded too.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah. It's pretty irritating. Similar to the whole: 'Things will get better'. Both are far too passive. They seem to insinuate that change for the better just happens miraculously whereas, in my experience, everything in life takes effort.

Plus- even if you put the effort in, there's no guarantee the outcome will be favourable or, that more problems won't start arising.

It's kind of funny too. If we use it for the brief moments that are happy, it's kind of negative. In that- the good times won't last either!

 

[divinemistress36]

Mental illness doesnt pass its chronic

 

[KillingPain267]

Yeah it shall pass... but leave ugly scars that have no more nerve endings or elasticity.
"The saying is believed to be based on a Persian adage passed down throughout time and made famous in 1852 with Edward Fitzgerald's "Solomon's Seal". In it, King Solomon aims to create a sentence that will always be true – whether times are good or bad. In it, he responds "This, too, will pass away"."

But the Bible doesn't even say that King Solomon created or received the saying. King Solomon is pretty pessimistic in the book Ecclesiastes, saying that it's better to be dead but even best to never have been born (Ecclesiastes 4:2-3). It's my favorite Bible verse.

 

[Shadow_]

My response, "but what if it doesn't? There are no guarantees that change will happen." But I'm used to playing devil's advocate, so taking the opposite approach is a natural response for me.

 

[ididnotconsent]

Another one is what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No, sometimes it permanently fucks you up or leaves you a vegetable

I'd like to think I've become more conscious and a better person because of the suffering, but it comes at too great a cost.

I encourage people who can go on to go on and find whatever happiness they can, but let's not act like some people get royally fucked.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

"This too shall pass," there's an Arabic folk tale with the same title. I like how it is double-edged sword this folktale can be depending on how you feel.
The folktale says:
"There was an Indian king who asked his minister to engrave on his ring a phrase that if he read it while sad he would be happy, and if he read it while happy he would be sad. So the minister wrote (This time will pass)."
It's not as if I like those self-help wisdom but this one seemed different to me. Because it isn't necessarily optimistic. In fact it's kind of nihilistic. It implies that neither the position nor the problems are permanent. They will all pass and become a positive or negative memory. Even you as a person will pass, like everything else. You will either do what immortalizes your memory, or you will melt into memory and become one of the passersby, like millions of others.

 

[SVEN]

Its a phrase i got used to hereing during a rehab stint .. it come from an old saying about be ambiguas and if i remeber right .. its actually goes back to a two headed larma .. the choice of two ideas and decisions and the that there are allways two paths to choose...⅕

An old Rabbinical belief was that this was the phrase engraved by Divinity on the ring of Solomon; to remind him in moments of triumph that failure would come and it times of failure that triumph would come.
Was that Llama the model for Dr Dolittle's "Push me Pull you" do you think.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

An old Rabbinical belief was that this was the phrase engraved by Divinity on the ring of Solomon; to remind him in moments of triumph that failure would come and it times of failure that triumph would come.
Was that Llama the model for Dr Dolittle's "Push me Pull you" do you think.

You've just made my day, thank you.

Doctor Dolittle: The Pushme Pullyu

 

[Toxinebulaic]

Such bullshit. Nothing ever just "passes," not the way they the quote implies. No, for things to pass and get better people have to do things. They have to do better. But how the FUCK am I supposed to do better when I have nothing and nobody? When I'm mentally ill and don't have the resources to do anything about it? That's not rhetorical, I'm asking. I want to know. I'm terrified.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I feel this. I used to be actively pursuing CTB and I got to a point where I was maybe like one week away from doing it - just trying to sell off a lot of my shit so my family wasn't burdened by having to do that. I was at a point where all I had left to sell was a big tool cabinet from the garage and some old video game stuff and that was it, but I ended up rescuing a cat and now here I am staying alive to care for him.

Even if I don't CTB, I don't really want to live that long. The age 30 feels terrifying to me, I don't want to get old. People say your youth (whether that's your childhood, adolescence, or young adulthood) is the best time of your life, but I've never really been happy in it. I can only imagine that things will get worse as I age.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to respond, for sharing your views and experience, and for making a difference to my day.

This morning, I woke up to the news of the passing of a former colleague, he was in a car crash. Always friendly and smiling, a really good guy, only about 40 years old. Happy as far as I know. His life literally, passed. Made me think how wrapped up in my own downward spiral I am, how I forgot about the good side to life people know or knew. The randomness of life, how little control we really have, no matter how hard we try, what we do or don't do, while here.

I tend to forget that the saying also relates to good times passing, but that people more often use it when we face the bad only. @Michi_Violeta and @ForeverCaHa, my heart goes out to you for losing those dear to you. I agree, that these cliches are not what we want to hear. There really are no words that can help.

I wish I had some kind of magic wand and can make the world a better place for all of us. I wish I had the answers to help guide us through the impossible obstacles we face every day, obstacles which somehow keep on appearing and even multiply to make life simply unbearable at times. But I don't, and @Toxinebulaic I'm scared with you.

All I can do is send all of you a big hug, and even if filled with all the love I have, it's just so empty. Because we need more than that to make it through this world. I could just ramble on, but there is no point really. Thank you for being here, I appreciate all of you. Today I've chosen to keep on fighting with the job hunt. Tomorrow, I don't know what's going to happen.

May whatever you decide to try today, go better than expected, I wish you all the best.

 

[MathConspiracy]

I know… That's what I got when I told my mother about how I feel like shit. "This too shall pass." I'm not even hoping for it to pass anymore! When I think of death, I think of peaceful sleep in a comfy bed, a blissful state of non-existence where all my dreams will come true through reincarnation. It's funny how beyond getting better I've got. My refusal to get a grip reminds me of this song by Evanescence. It's called "Lithium" and goes like this:

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow, oh

Don't wanna let it lay me down this time
Drown my will to fly
Here in the darkness I know myself
Can't break free until I let it go, let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all
Anything is better than to be alone
And in the end I guess I had to fall
Always find my place among the ashes

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I know… That's what I got when I told my mother about how I feel like shit. "This too shall pass." I'm not even hoping for it to pass anymore! When I think of death, I think of peaceful sleep in a comfy bed, a blissful state of non-existence where all my dreams will come true through reincarnation. It's funny how beyond getting better I've got. My refusal to get a grip reminds me of this song by Evanescence. It's called "Lithium" and goes like this:

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow, oh

Don't wanna let it lay me down this time
Drown my will to fly
Here in the darkness I know myself
Can't break free until I let it go, let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all
Anything is better than to be alone
And in the end I guess I had to fall
Always find my place among the ashes

Thanks, I've added it to my playlist

I feel this. I used to be actively pursuing CTB and I got to a point where I was maybe like one week away from doing it - just trying to sell off a lot of my shit so my family wasn't burdened by having to do that. I was at a point where all I had left to sell was a big tool cabinet from the garage and some old video game stuff and that was it, but I ended up rescuing a cat and now here I am staying alive to care for him.

Even if I don't CTB, I don't really want to live that long. The age 30 feels terrifying to me, I don't want to get old. People say your youth (whether that's your childhood, adolescence, or young adulthood) is the best time of your life, but I've never really been happy in it. I can only imagine that things will get worse as I age.

It could get better too, 30 is still young . I believe the "best time of your life" can happen at any age, and more probably later, after we've been through bad stuff.

 

[2messdup]

Well I've been waiting 60 years and it hasn't fucking passed yet. In fact it's got worse.

 

[bhaloo]

51 years have passed and I found nothing but rejection. All relationships were petty power struggles full of manipulation and lies. silence is the best manipulation tool and it never passes. people change but rejection, manipulation and misery is a constant. Not sure how long I can take it.

 

[avalonisburning]

"I agree with you. I'm just making sure it passes faster."

 

[2messdup]

"I agree with you. I'm just making sure it passes faster."

Brilliant

 

[lawlietsph]

it will pass only for another fucked up shit to come into it's place.