BornToFail

BornToFail

Experienced
Sep 9, 2022
285
People will always talk about lookism and how your fate is determined by your appearance. I can understand where they are coming from, but I really feel that personality is something that I struggle with more. Changing your personality? Is it possible? I can't say for sure, but in my opinion not by much. This won't just affect your relationships, but it will also affect your friendships.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,863
Stephen Hawking didn't achieve his success through winning beauty contests, nor did Mahatma Ghandi. There are many possible pathways in life that are not about looks, and it is up to the individual to decide if any of them fit.

As for changing personality, yes it is possible to make progress if you have the right determination, role models and support. People have done it. There are endless self-help videos on YouTube about gaining confidence in social situations. I never succeeded but you won't know less you give it a go.
 
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BornToFail

BornToFail

Experienced
Sep 9, 2022
285
Stephen Hawking didn't achieve his success through winning beauty contests, nor did Mahatma Ghandi. There are many possible pathways in life that are not about looks, and it is up to the individual to decide if any of them fit.

As for changing personality, yes it is possible to make progress if you have the right determination, role models and support. People have done it. There are endless self-help videos on YouTube about gaining confidence in social situations. I never succeeded but you won't know less you give it a go.
Thank you. Idk, I guess people liked me irl? Only time I was around people was in the hospital. People just comment on my manners and how good they are. But I don't know if that is a good thing.
 
Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,863
Thank you. Idk, I guess people liked me irl? Only time I was around people was in the hospital. People just comment on my manners and how good they are. But I don't know if that is a good thing.
Yes, you'll find people like you a lot more than you think. I've heard social anxiety referred to as "Everyone Hates Me Syndrome". It is a vicious circle if we detach from social situations due to the phobia, only to be locked in a room with our own minds.

As for manners being a good thing, people who become more authentic usually find that their behaviour worsens. This is healthy because often when we are too 'good', it is a result of hiding darker parts of ourselves that we are afraid of. The goal is having everything integrated. The best part is that any friendships and relationships at that point are based on people liking the real you.

If we weren't so misguided in our childhoods, this process wouldn't be necessary at all, but alas, it is.
 
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