This place is not helping me im broken

[maggot666]

Being here is not right it is driving me crazy they didn't give me my methadone and only gave me half my amitriptyline dose. I have spoke to my bf yesterday loads and the dealer he is with I owe £200 to I know he only spoke to me cos the dealer probably told him he said he would text or ring me last night he didn't. I know he wants me dead he said he was so horny the other day when he was with her all I have here is the constant image over and over of them fucking. I need to ctb so bad I have never experienced pain like this before and my life has been constant Shit since I was raped when I lost my virginity when I was a kid then being groomed and passes . About to be raped over Andover and then forced to prostitute, then losing all my kids. This is the final thing. I wish we were free to die if we want I don't think it's humane being locked up here it is making it so much worse. I think before I cab I am going to write a letter to the newspaper to let them know just how bad these places are locking you up to just leave you alone with the thoughts that are killing you, not giving medication, not caring that I haven't eaten since I've been i here they haven't asked me if I want something to eat ( I don't but that's beyond the point) also I'm on my period and am wearing the same knickers I come in here wearing its so hard to get properly clean. Anyway on a good note I found my cartoid arteries and was pressing on them It felt a bit like I would lose consciousness. Great on 2% battery again so have to charge kindle again

 

[HGL91]

Being here is not right it is driving me crazy they didn't give me my methadone and only gave me half my amitriptyline dose. I have spoke to my bf yesterday loads and the dealer he is with I owe £200 to I know he only spoke to me cos the dealer probably told him he said he would text or ring me last night he didn't. I know he wants me dead he said he was so horny the other day when he was with her all I have here is the constant image over and over of them fucking. I need to ctb so bad I have never experienced pain like this before and my life has been constant Shit since I was raped when I lost my virginity when I was a kid then being groomed and passes . About to be raped over Andover and then forced to prostitute, then losing all my kids. This is the final thing. I wish we were free to die if we want I don't think it's humane being locked up here it is making it so much worse. I think before I cab I am going to write a letter to the newspaper to let them know just how bad these places are locking you up to just leave you alone with the thoughts that are killing you, not giving medication, not caring that I haven't eaten since I've been i here they haven't asked me if I want something to eat ( I don't but that's beyond the point) also I'm on my period and am wearing the same knickers I come in here wearing its so hard to get properly clean. Anyway on a good note I found my cartoid arteries and was pressing on them It felt a bit like I would lose consciousness. Great on 2% battery again so have to charge kindle again

Sounds like a horrible place!! No meds, not caring about you eating and leaving you alone with your thoughts?!? I went to UCLA psych hospital in 2014 and they gave me a menu to choose my 3 meals a day, we had art therapy, books, games, time outdoors, tv, and meds was a very important thing.

Sounds like you ended up at a really shitty psych hospital. :( I'm so sorry!!! How long have you been there??

 

[Baskol1]

Being here is not right it is driving me crazy they didn't give me my methadone and only gave me half my amitriptyline dose. I have spoke to my bf yesterday loads and the dealer he is with I owe £200 to I know he only spoke to me cos the dealer probably told him he said he would text or ring me last night he didn't. I know he wants me dead he said he was so horny the other day when he was with her all I have here is the constant image over and over of them fucking. I need to ctb so bad I have never experienced pain like this before and my life has been constant Shit since I was raped when I lost my virginity when I was a kid then being groomed and passes . About to be raped over Andover and then forced to prostitute, then losing all my kids. This is the final thing. I wish we were free to die if we want I don't think it's humane being locked up here it is making it so much worse. I think before I cab I am going to write a letter to the newspaper to let them know just how bad these places are locking you up to just leave you alone with the thoughts that are killing you, not giving medication, not caring that I haven't eaten since I've been i here they haven't asked me if I want something to eat ( I don't but that's beyond the point) also I'm on my period and am wearing the same knickers I come in here wearing its so hard to get properly clean. Anyway on a good note I found my cartoid arteries and was pressing on them It felt a bit like I would lose consciousness. Great on 2% battery again so have to charge kindle again

Yeah that sounds like a useless psychiatric hospital, do they want that people kill themselves? Because thats how you make people kill themselves.

 

[GeorgeJL]

You're confusing. Your title implies that you want help to live, but your post implies that you want to die. This is your choice. We do have a recovery section and treatments section if you want to get better.

Recovery

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/forums/recovery.7/

Recovery Treatments

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/recovery-treatments.20652/

 

[irregularheartbeat]

These types of hospitals are the worst to be stuck in. They only make it all worse, I'm sorry youve gotten the shitty end of the stick even with this. Especially since you were literally forced here by strangers. I hope you'll be able to get out soon, so you can carry out whatever fate you find fitting for yourself

 

[HGL91]

@GeorgeJL No! YOU'RE confusing! You used the wrong "You're" at the very beginning of the sentence and my brain is severely grammar policing you!! haha

(Totally just poking fun for lighthearted humor)

Otherwise, helpful post!

 

[maggot666]

Sounds like a horrible place!! No meds, not caring about you eating and leaving you alone with your thoughts?!? I went to UCLA psych hospital in 2014 and they gave me a menu to choose my 3 meals a day, we had art therapy, books, games, time outdoors, tv, and meds was a very important thing.

Sounds like you ended up at a really shitty psych hospital. :( I'm so sorry!!! How long have you been there??

Been here since Monday night the staff just sit locked up in there office all the time.

 

[Baskol1]

Been here since Monday night the staff just sit locked up in there office all the time.

Yes sounds familiär.

 

[maggot666]

You're confusing. Your title implies that you want help to live, but your post implies that you want to die. This is your choice. We do have a recovery section and treatments section if you want to get better.

Recovery

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/forums/recovery.7/

Recovery Treatments

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/recovery-treatments.20652/

I don't know how the title makes you think I want to live, they think they are helping me by putting me here they are not all they are doing is making me more distressed and I'm literally desperate to leave to ctb

These types of hospitals are the worst to be stuck in. They only make it all worse, I'm sorry youve gotten the shitty end of the stick even with this. Especially since you were literally forced here by strangers. I hope you'll be able to get out soon, so you can carry out whatever fate you find fitting for yourself

Well I got up and showered put my makeup and have been nice to them and said I realise my boyfriend doesn't want me because he didn't ring me back and I asked if I could leave and stay at my sister's to keep me busy

 

[bea1974]

Best of luck. I have been locked up on 2 different psych wards, a total of 7 times. I feel you.

When I ctb I plan to write an essay explaining what it's like to be caught up in this system and listing all that is wrong about it. That's not why I want to ctb, but if in my death I can contribute to some positive change, I think it's worth a try. Of course I don't suppose anything will change, but I have nothing to lose in trying ;)

 

[maggot666]

Omg I can't believed it worked they said they will discharge me into my sister's care she's a mental health nurse. They decided to Fuck with my medication changed my amitryptyline to metazipin think that's what they called it so I'm going to stay at my sister's tonight then try and get the keys tomorrow. There I have long wire so will try and see if I can get it to work I have tried . Many times but feel like my head is going to explode

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't know how the title makes you think I want to live, they think they are helping me by putting me here they are not all they are doing is making me more distressed and I'm literally desperate to leave to ctb

Well I got up and showered put my makeup and have been nice to them and said I realise my boyfriend doesn't want me because he didn't ring me back and I asked if I could leave and stay at my sister's to keep me busy

Oh I see, never mind. LOL

 

[maggot666]

My boyfriend definitely doesn't want me so looks like I will be ctb tomorrow

 

[DeathImminent]

My boyfriend definitely doesn't want me so looks like I will be ctb tomorrow

Dont cbt because of broken heart, you can always find someone else who will love you. Fuck him hes selfish

 

[Pistolero114]

Being here is not right it is driving me crazy they didn't give me my methadone and only gave me half my amitriptyline dose. I have spoke to my bf yesterday loads and the dealer he is with I owe £200 to I know he only spoke to me cos the dealer probably told him he said he would text or ring me last night he didn't. I know he wants me dead he said he was so horny the other day when he was with her all I have here is the constant image over and over of them fucking. I need to ctb so bad I have never experienced pain like this before and my life has been constant Shit since I was raped when I lost my virginity when I was a kid then being groomed and passes . About to be raped over Andover and then forced to prostitute, then losing all my kids. This is the final thing. I wish we were free to die if we want I don't think it's humane being locked up here it is making it so much worse. I think before I cab I am going to write a letter to the newspaper to let them know just how bad these places are locking you up to just leave you alone with the thoughts that are killing you, not giving medication, not caring that I haven't eaten since I've been i here they haven't asked me if I want something to eat ( I don't but that's beyond the point) also I'm on my period and am wearing the same knickers I come in here wearing its so hard to get properly clean. Anyway on a good note I found my cartoid arteries and was pressing on them It felt a bit like I would lose consciousness. Great on 2% battery again so have to charge kindle again

Omg I can't believed it worked they said they will discharge me into my sister's care she's a mental health nurse. They decided to Fuck with my medication changed my amitryptyline to metazipin think that's what they called it so I'm going to stay at my sister's tonight then try and get the keys tomorrow. There I have long wire so will try and see if I can get it to work I have tried . Many times but feel like my head is going to explode

Meditation to calm the mind possibly?

 

[Nanimoaru]

My boyfriend definitely doesn't want me so looks like I will be ctb tomorrow

Girl same, not the exact same as i cant do it tomorrow but i loved this guy with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING and he ran off to be with some other chick
Said all this dumb self victimizing shit but he was the only thing keeping me here
So after sept 9 i have free reign to ctb