This needs to be said to parents.

[asian.neet]

Earlier today funeralcry responded to me in my thread today about my botched plans for ctb.

"I find it so cruel how people force life here and wish to imprison them in this existence they were burdened with until they cease existing anyway. I cannot stand how pro-life people believe that suffering must be prolonged no matter what, it must be so dreadful being in that situation.
Exactly what needs to be said. Pro-lifers want us alive just so we are seen but they don't want to hear us on why our life fucking sucks. And if you use this rhetoric you get labeled as mentally ill so they ignore you anyway if you try to defend yourself logically."

What she said. Is fucking true. To the T.

Parents, saving your child when you didn't do their job doesn't mean you're a good parent, nor does it reflect that you actually care about what your child is going through AND that you fucking care about DOING YOUR JOB AS A PARENT = RAISE YOUR KID IN A LOVING ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY DONT FEEL LIKE SHIT AND HAVE TO LIE TO YOU JUST TO APPEASE YOUR STUPID-ASS BELIEFS (HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, YOU LIKE X CHILD THAN Y CHILD BC THEY DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO). YOU GOTTA HAVE PROOF THAT YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BEFOREHAND, NOT BEATING THE SHIT OUTTA THEM OR FORCING THEM TO DO STUFF SO ITS EASIER ON YOUR HAND, AND THAT YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR CHILD BECAUSE THEY CAN TRUST YOU FULLY. I know this sounds hard. I know parenting is hard. GROW UP. PARENTING IS HARD. GET A FUCKING HELMET. OR DONT HAVE KIDS AT ALL IF YOU DONT WANT TO CARE.

You are behaving like anti-abortion activists in both their stupidity and arrogance. Like them wanting to keep children alive but not giving a shit whether they're gonna grow up with abusive parents or poverty or parent less or a combination of all the three, you pro-lifers are doing the exact same thing.

I also find that some people want to mog that x parent is good just because the parent cares about their mental health and being alive without thinking about what they have done in the past. let me tell you one reason why I can't tolerate living on this planet. I have parents that suck and gaslight me that they are good parents that care when they fucking DONT.

Parents wanting their kid to be alive doesn't count as them being loving parents. It comes down to them being trustworthy in the first place, like not gaslighting their child that they're not lgbt then denying that they ever did that when you're an adult and preach the good-parent npc nonsense that they're good parents and you're the rebellious one. It comes down to parents letting you choose what to do with your time instead of using what they did to your older sibling and copying what they did because "that's all they know how to do things and they're not familiar with the system" and stressing you out with extracurriculars and school classes because "you need to go to high school" --> "you need to go to college" --> "you need a good paying job" --> "you need to marry" --> "you need to take car3 of me when I'm old" --> "I WANT GRANDKIDS I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!".

FUCKING KEEPING YOUR KID ALIVE AFTER WHAT YOU DID IN YOUR CHILD'S CHILDHOOD DOES NOT COUNT AS LOVING. I FUCKING HATE THE DEFAULT ASSUMPTION THAT PARENTS ARE LOVING AND THE CHILD IS SAYING NONSENSE. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE AND EVEN ON THIS FORUMN. THIS IS COMPLETE NONSENSE. SAVING YOUR CHILD FROM DELIB3RATE DEATH ON THE PART OF THE CHILD THEMSELVES DOES NOT MEAN YOUR PARENTS FUCKING LOVE YOU. SAYING THEY LOVE YOU AFTER TRYING TO SCREW UP YOUR CHILD'S SUICIDE ATTEMPT BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DO THEIR FUCKING JOB COMES ACROSS AS ARROGANT. GROW TF UP AND HAVE FUCKING EMPATHY INSTEAD OF PARADING THE PARENT SAYING "KUMBAYAH YOURE A GOOD PARENT" WITHOUT QUESTION.

 

[Folklore]

Me and my fiancé plan on having a little sprout of our own soon (I know I'm going to be attacked for wanting to have a baby but I'm not evil and I'm not trying to "put a life through torture" or whatever yall say here) and we talk every single day of our lives, we talk and swear that we're going to raise them to feel safe and loved. We're going to raise them and let them know that it's okay if they want to change their gender or if they like girls or boys, were going to make sure their life is as stress Free as possible. My baby isnt here yet but I love them with all of my heart, both of us do. We know how not to treat a child because both of us were raised in heavily physically and emotionally abusive homes and have the scars to show it, literally.

idk,, tldr I agree with this post in a way,, and I'm hoping I don't get yelled at here for dreaming of being a mama. I just want to bring a little one into this world and make sure their happy.

 

[dreamingofrest]

Me and my fiancé plan on having a little sprout of our own soon (I know I'm going to be attacked for wanting to have a baby but I'm not evil and I'm not trying to "put a life through torture" or whatever yall say here) and we talk every single day of our lives, we talk and swear that we're going to raise them to feel safe and loved. We're going to raise them and let them know that it's okay if they want to change their gender or if they like girls or boys, were going to make sure their life is as stress Free as possible. My baby isnt here yet but I love them with all of my heart, both of us do. We know how not to treat a child because both of us were raised in heavily physically and emotionally abusive homes and have the scars to show it, literally.

idk,, tldr I agree with this post in a way,, and I'm hoping I don't get yelled at here for dreaming of being a mama. I just want to bring a little one into this world and make sure their happy.

Even though I'd never become a parent myself that's because it's not something I want, I think people like you who genuinely want to be parents for the right reasons should. It sounds like if anyone's going to be a good parent it's you. I wish everyone thought about what they wanted to be like as a parent before becoming one like you and your fiancé have. I'm wishing y'all luck!

 

[asian.neet]

Me and my fiancé plan on having a little sprout of our own soon (I know I'm going to be attacked for wanting to have a baby but I'm not evil and I'm not trying to "put a life through torture" or whatever yall say here) and we talk every single day of our lives, we talk and swear that we're going to raise them to feel safe and loved. We're going to raise them and let them know that it's okay if they want to change their gender or if they like girls or boys, were going to make sure their life is as stress Free as possible. My baby isnt here yet but I love them with all of my heart, both of us do. We know how not to treat a child because both of us were raised in heavily physically and emotionally abusive homes and have the scars to show it, literally.

idk,, tldr I agree with this post in a way,, and I'm hoping I don't get yelled at here for dreaming of being a mama. I just want to bring a little one into this world and make sure their happy.

As long as you're gonna treat them right I don't see a problem. Good luck on being a mother, best wishes.

 

[spinningship]

Me and my fiancé plan on having a little sprout of our own soon (I know I'm going to be attacked for wanting to have a baby but I'm not evil and I'm not trying to "put a life through torture" or whatever yall say here) and we talk every single day of our lives, we talk and swear that we're going to raise them to feel safe and loved. We're going to raise them and let them know that it's okay if they want to change their gender or if they like girls or boys, were going to make sure their life is as stress Free as possible. My baby isnt here yet but I love them with all of my heart, both of us do. We know how not to treat a child because both of us were raised in heavily physically and emotionally abusive homes and have the scars to show it, literally.

idk,, tldr I agree with this post in a way,, and I'm hoping I don't get yelled at here for dreaming of being a mama. I just want to bring a little one into this world and make sure their happy.

You shouldn't have kids if you're suicidal sorry it's just wrong.

 

[asian.neet]

Even though I'd never become a parent myself that's because it's not something I want, I think people like you who genuinely want to be parents for the right reasons should. It sounds like if anyone's going to be a good parent it's you. I wish everyone thought about what they wanted to be like as a parent before becoming one like you and your fiancé have. I'm wishing y'all luck!

I don't want to have children in the future even though I'm 20, I just hope people learn to be better parents instead of continuing generational trauma like i have experienced. I'm too tired to live honestly. When I get reincarnated I hope im the right species and have better parents that time around.

 

[Folklore]

So far me wanting to have kids has been through 20 years of thought and we already have plans for having our kids best interests in mind, damn me if I ever do anything wrong as a parent, genuinely. I'm just happy to know there's people here who are okay with having kids it makes me feel a little safer to vent here especially since most of my vents are paranoia of something bad happening to kid related
(also I'm sorry if there's something wrong with the formatting of this comment or I sent it in the wrong place, I'm still new to forums! Please correct me if I did something wrong)

 

[Jolene79]

If you are on here it is not the best idea to bring a child into things. It is so difficult if you're really struggling. And trust me, love is not enough! The sleep deprivation, the responsibility etc could push you over the edge. If there's any chance or possibility of recovery - to the extent that you don't come on here anymore, then I urge you to try get to that place first ( if you can).

I totally understand your desire to have a little one. You sound like you would be loving and caring. This is what hormones do to us.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I just want to say this.
There's a huge lack of understanding on the part of the pro-lifers but they mean well, they just REFUSE to accept anyone's beliefs other than their own.
TO their credit, I've been suicidal most of my life and things generally do get better after high school, so I understand their point of view in regards to waiting because your feelings and more importantly... your perspective will likely change in 3/5/10 years.
HOWEVER as I'm now 31, I've come to the conscious and "matured" decision that I'd rather a bag of fucking nails than be a part of this society of "human race" for much longer.
I have lived. And for me personally, (and I DO WISH that you feel differently after giving it time) I have come to accept that I am will never be full,
I will never be normal and I don't want to be. I was at court once and this guy was dressed in steam punk cosplay attire and the metal detector went off and the guards had him empty his pockets, and I kid you not... the guy dumped a ton of gold sprayed coins into the bins and in full character he began to question what "strange device" the metal detector was.

I'd rather be that guy.
But, meh, it gets boring quick.

 

[oddetoad]

I just wanna chime in and say I've been in these discussions in more cases than i can count and I wouldnt want to start a fight with people who have children here, although, I think it's very unethical and highly immoral to do so.

However..

Looking into the huge evidence which lies in NDEs and researching NDEs now for over a year, I think it's safe to assume that this place is most likely a soul trap and looking into the data, it seems that it doesn't matter if one has a child or not (although I strongly recommend not having one in this hell, because again, it's immoral)

So basically what I was gonna say is that most likely there are already pre-arranged mothers and fathers ... basically .. a vessel is ready at _any time_ in any circustamnce whatsoever..

So yeah.. You dont have to have this discussion anymore because its probably futile however you wanna look at it..

Beings will be forced to slave away for a lifetime here even if we want it or not ...

However it goes without saying that parents are extremely selfish and are willing to use humans as a shield basically.

It's sad..

Personally , I've cut contact with every single parent I knew and I'm never gonna talk to anyone who has had a child here ever again. I'd rather die than talk to a parent again. But thats just me.

I also want to add that I will "go against" parents tooth and nail until the day im no longer here.

Thank you.

 

[Kit1]

I am a mother - and actually according to my children and those around me, a good mother. I am alive for my children. My children who are in mid to late teens are genuinely loving, caring, responsible.human beings and I am proud of both of them for who they are. I love them more than the entire world put together.

I am a daughter, sister, a friend, employee amongst many other roles. I am also a survivor or horrendous child abuse throughout my childhood which is why I'm on this site - my family and friends are not aware of my daily battles as they see a positive, happy, loving, fair person - the pain and scars are mine to carry and fight.

My parents had delivered a harsh upbringing (though I spent limited part of my childhood with them). I have forgiven (I think) them for what happened as there were mental health challenges and other challenges that they faced.

Why am I sharing this? Life is not linear. If all parents have to be perfect, no will be able to give birth - though I whole heartedly ages that there are many parents who should never had children given the pain that they have unleashed. On this forum, we have several members who are said on various posts that they had good, loving childhoods/families and it is mental health challenges and other challenges that have resulted in them seeking out forums like these.

Life is complex. The beauty of carrying a baby, of holding the baby, speaking and essentially growing up with that baby and at a point, that baby/child/young person holding us I their space and giving us their love is a feeling like nothing else. Please don't write away parenthood, please don't judge parents such as myself on this forum to be bad parents especially when this is not true and please don't judge everyone with the same brush.

Love can and is special. I say this as someone who stays alive everyday due to that power of love from my children and the amazing love that I have for them.

I hope that I have not upset anyone with my words - these are not simply words for me, but my life and hence the strong feeling.

 

[oddetoad]

I am a mother - and actually according to my children and those around me, a good mother. I am alive for my children. My children who are in mid to late teens are genuinely loving, caring, responsible.human beings and I am proud of both of them for who they are. I love them more than the entire world put together.

I am a daughter, sister, a friend, employee amongst many other roles. I am also a survivor or horrendous child abuse throughout my childhood which is why I'm on this site - my family and friends are not aware of my daily battles as they see a positive, happy, loving, fair person - the pain and scars are mine to carry and fight.

My parents had delivered a harsh upbringing (though I spent limited part of my childhood with them). I have forgiven (I think) them for what happened as there were mental health challenges and other challenges that they faced.

Why am I sharing this? Life is not linear. If all parents have to be perfect, no will be able to give birth - though I whole heartedly ages that there are many parents who should never had children given the pain that they have unleashed. On this forum, we have several members who are said on various posts that they had good, loving childhoods/families and it is mental health challenges and other challenges that have resulted in them seeking out forums like these.

Life is complex. The beauty of carrying a baby, of holding the baby, speaking and essentially growing up with that baby and at a point, that baby/child/young person holding us I their space and giving us their love is a feeling like nothing else. Please don't write away parenthood, please don't judge parents such as myself on this forum to be bad parents especially when this is not true and please don't judge everyone with the same brush.

Love can and is special. I say this as someone who stays alive everyday due to that power of love from my children and the amazing love that I have for them.

I hope that I have not upset anyone with my words - these are not simply words for me, but my life and hence the strong feeling.

In some ways I think serial k***ers have more value as humans compared to mothers. It may sound quite harsh but I do think we need to speak in a harsh manner when it comes to mothers.

 

[Kit1]

In some ways I think serial k***ers have more value as humans compared to mothers. It may sound quite harsh but I do think we need to speak in a harsh manner when it comes to mothers.

I am so sorry that this is how you feel about mothers. That really is quite sad.

 

[vanillamilk]

In some ways I think serial k***ers have more value as humans compared to mothers. It may sound quite harsh but I do think we need to speak in a harsh manner when it comes to mothers.

why not fathers too?

 

[oddetoad]

I am so sorry that this is how you feel about mothers. That really is quite sad.

You have no idea whats lenghts I would go to see justice served.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

This hits really close to home (No pun intended, sorry), well said. I completely agree with you. Just "saving your child" is just proof that things were screwed up beforehand and that it became too late. Love is indeed way more than just preventing someone's mechanical's death. Way more than just that...

 

[Kit1]

You have no idea whats lenghts I would go to see justice served.

It is sad to see someone judging all mothers and seeking to punish them for the mistakes of a few - and this is coming from someone who was burnt, broken bones nd abused in so many ways and also raped by so many men due to neglect and abandonment by her parents.
For the few abusive parents out there, there are so many so many good, loving parents ts who sacrifice so much to give their children happy, safe and secure childhoods.
For the few abusive parents out there, there are so many so many good, loving parents ts who sacrifice so much to give their children happy, safe and secure childhoods.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It is sad to see someone judging all mothers and seeking to punish them for the mistakes of a few - and this is coming from someone who was burnt, broken bones nd abused in so many ways and also raped by so many men due to neglect and abandonment by her parents.
For the few abusive parents out there, there are so many so many good, loving parents ts who sacrifice so much to give their children happy, safe and secure childhoods.
For the few abusive parents out there, there are so many so many good, loving parents ts who sacrifice so much to give their children happy, safe and secure childhoods.

I'm sorry that happened to you but I don't see the point in bringing this up. Most parents shouldn't be parents and being loving towards your child and making sacrifces isn't enough. That's closer to the bear minimum to be honest. There are so many parents who have done just that and are still abusive and shitty towards their own children. Saying shit like this is why abusive and unethical behaviours towards children has become so normalized. Parents think that loving their kids and making sacrifices for them excuses them disrespecting their boundaries, hitting them, throwing things at them, yelling at them, invalidating their feelings, etc. Most of these kids end up growing up thinking these behaviours are fine because they came from people who loved them and made scarifices for them and most parents will bring that up in order to justify these behaviours.

Mothers tend to be put on pedestals and it can be harder to get taken seriously if the abuse you went through was at the hands of a woman rather than a man. I think that's probably why they were brought up as needing to be spoken about in a harsher manner. You'll be amazed by the amount of abusive mothers I've come across that have gotten away with what they've done just because they're mothers.

Hell, the case workers from children's aid society even told my stepmother that she was a great mom. This is the same lady who threw my brother on two occassions, tried to turn me against my own mother, would be gone for hours at a time only coming home in the middle of the night to scream at my dad for no reason and then leave again, chased my dad and I down while we were trying to get away from her screaming about me being a horrible person (I was around 7 or 8 at the time), would not make sure to put the apartment keys in my brothers bag before dropping him off at school leaving me and him to have to wait outside in the hallway until whenever she came back from where ever she was, etc. She only stopped hitting my brother after the whole case worker debacle thing because she didn't want to risk getting kicked out of the country. Yet, if you were to ask my brother he would probably say that he loves her and if you were to ask those around her they would probably also call her a good mother.

People treat being a mother as an accomplishment. They treat it as something that you have to work for rather than something any woman can become so long as they have a children in their care. As a result, mothers can get away with all sorts of shit and mothers feel justify treating their kids however they want because of this. I'm not saying any of this doesn't apply to fathers too but it definitely applies to mothers to a higher extent, at least from my experience.

With that in mind, in my opinion, people need to stop treating being a parent in general as being a sign of good character and they should instead be spoken of in a more harsh manner in general. Most parents don't view their children as anything more than possessions at the end of the day and they always seem to get suprised when that ends up blowing up in their face (such as when they find out their kid's suicidal).


Sorry for the rant, btw.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Please remain civil and refrain from personally attacking anyone. It's okay to voice your opinion, it's okay to disagree with someone but please do it in a respectful and civil manner. I want to make very clear that parents are welcome to use this forum, there are parents in this forum who suffer from the same issues as many other members here and it doesn't solve any problems if you attack those who are already a member in this forum. They are already struggling, what's the benefit of attacking them? Like that's not going to achieve anything - and I say that as an anti-natalist myself. Please take your frustration to the right channels, there are more productive and efficient ways to give your anger a voice but attacking random parents in this forum without even knowing them or their circumstances just doesn't sit right with me. Sadly, anti-natalists and parents have a tendency to clash in these discussions and I want to make sure everyone feels welcome in this forum. We don't discriminate against anyone.

Members who have violated any rules, specifically being hostile and attacking individual members, have been warned.

Thanks.