_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,109
i did struggle since childhood, most of the time life was just hard, there were definitely some parts of my existence where i felt passion, creativity and meaning but only because i was happy and my health was still acceptable and allowing me to do so.. my main source of happiness was my health, even though i had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts since very young.. still i wasn't inhibited to move through life and do the things i wanted.
crying and being sad/melancholic was even something i enjoyed because there were no big problems that couldn't be resolved and i felt very connected to my body, crying felt like relief and i just loved to listen to sad music.. but that's like 10 years ago, now life is just a painful nightmare..
i tried very hard and i actually managed to learn a lot, but it seems all fleeting and meaningless, once your health goes down to a critical level.
if i could take one thing from this life and erase it completely, i would definitely choose all diseases.
what's the point of life if all joy is sucked out due to chronic health issues..
..it ruined everything for me, there's nothing that would ever compensate the damage that took place due to it. relationships, hobbies, work, projects and so on are basically impossible and destroyed, there's no joy and drive left. I don't see the point of continuing this hopeless existence. i go through life and always come back this point.
i could have saved myself from so much pain and and so many letdowns. I'm not sure why i have to be so stubborn, i should have left so long ago..
crying and being sad/melancholic was even something i enjoyed because there were no big problems that couldn't be resolved and i felt very connected to my body, crying felt like relief and i just loved to listen to sad music.. but that's like 10 years ago, now life is just a painful nightmare..
i tried very hard and i actually managed to learn a lot, but it seems all fleeting and meaningless, once your health goes down to a critical level.
if i could take one thing from this life and erase it completely, i would definitely choose all diseases.
what's the point of life if all joy is sucked out due to chronic health issues..
..it ruined everything for me, there's nothing that would ever compensate the damage that took place due to it. relationships, hobbies, work, projects and so on are basically impossible and destroyed, there's no joy and drive left. I don't see the point of continuing this hopeless existence. i go through life and always come back this point.
i could have saved myself from so much pain and and so many letdowns. I'm not sure why i have to be so stubborn, i should have left so long ago..
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