This isn't humanly physically possible anymore. Please help me 😭🙏🏼 (rational, deformed from Spina Bifida)

[WearyWanderer]

Please, please, can someone help me in person with applying to Pegasos.

I have a family member who said they will go with but they're not helping me with the paperwork or other logistics

This was time sensitive and I accidentally took a neurotoxic antibiotic that numbed my entire body which has officially made it humanly physically impossible to survive.

My entire pelvis and spinal area is malformed beyond comprehension. This anatomy shouldn't even be possible, this can't be reality because it's not fucking physically possible to function anymore

I have intractable musculoskeletal pain from the deformity and was moving cm by cm. Now that I'm numb, I lost all control for managing the pain and the unlivable full body contracture got retriggered. This contracture is caused by how inhumanly deformed my anatomy is fused together.


If I'm numb for too long, the musculoskeletal pain gets worse and worse and there's truly no way to reverse it because my body is too asymmetrical.

I am in a state of terror and this is not a choice anymore. I *need* to die. My pelvis wraps around my body like an X and is two different shapes on both sides. The part where it converges blocks my rectum.

I am in unendurable, unbearable agony.

Spina Bifida is called the snowflake disease because no two versions are the exact same. My version is the absolute worst fucking one because my pelvis didn't form in a normal formation.


It's difficult to even sleep or breathe, let alone push past a sealed twisted fused malformity that's contracting in order to urinate or defecate.

I can't do long term catheters per ostomy because of how oddly angled the malformed clumps on each side of my pelvis are so it's not a solution for me. There's no surgery to unwedge a wedge or untwist a twist. There's no pain medicine that can cure or help pains caused by severe deformity.

Please. Can someone help me

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I remember you've been suffering for years like this .

if there was 1% chance of a human suffering 1/1000 the extreme torture you are going through.... They would kill themselves today .... If they had the means like nembutal or a suicide booth .

Even on this forum so many invalidate your and many people's suffering by praising this hell called life

I hope someone can help you

They made assisting suicide , nembutal, suicide booths crimes to torture people

These people saying life is good it's like they are slapping people going through extreme torture

 

[WearyWanderer]

I remember you've been suffering for years like this .

Amy human if there was 1% chance of 1/1000 the extreme torture you are going through.... They would kill themselves today .... If they had the means like nembutal or a suicide booth .

Even on this forum so many invalidate your and man people suffering by praising this hell called life

I hope someone can help you

It was still 1-5% possible if I never went numb so I was able to stay and plan and try to figure things out.

But getting COVID caused me to accidentally panic and act quickly and I didn't realize morphine numbs the entire body. I was in level 10 pelvic and bladder pain from Candida Glabrata caused by COVID but I needed to grit my teeth and try to push through because at that time I had reduced the pain through meticulously precise and careful movements for 5 years. I undid all of that and worse in 2 weeks. I did everything I said I'd never do because I was in a vulnerable state and not living with people I could trust to help me figure out what to do.

I'm so horribly stupid

I remember you've been suffering for years like this .

Any human if there was 1% chance of 1/1000 the extreme torture you are going through.... They would kill themselves today .... If they had the means like nembutal or a suicide booth .

Even on this forum so many invalidate your and man people suffering by praising this hell called life

I hope someone can help you

They made assisting suicide , nembutal, suicide booths crimes to torture people

It was still 1-5% possible up until I got Covid in November and then everything spiraled and I accidentally did exactly what I told myself to never do

How could I have let this happen, I was the only one protecting myself.

I needed to grit my teeth through the level 10 pain and call urgent care.

Instead I made irreversible mistake of morphine at ER and numbed my entire body. I basically sprain all of my muscles if I trigger the flare But even that is better than numbing it after which is what the antibiotics I realized I didn't even need to take did.

I told myself I'd NEVER let this happen because it would no longer be humanly possible if I did. I knew not to do it

I wasn't around people I trusted to try and slowly figure out what to do and I was also coerced into doing the exact wrong things.

I can't believe I allowed this to happen. I didn't have much time and I have even less now

I couldn't let it happen because my family will never believe me no matter how much I explain and even when I told my Dad all he said was "That's why we have to trust God." Okay, well it's too late for God and it's my human right as a mutant embryo to die in peace


I will do whatever it takes to get to Switzerland. I just need to fucking get there

I had other methods I was trying but everything fell through and I'm never alone and I'm living proof of a need for universal MAID so why doesn't it exist I needed to be born in Canada not here.

Do you have any idea who I could ask for help?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Maybe you can advertise to pay someone to help you fill out the paperwork and accompany you to Pegasos?

 

[bluebirds]

How old are you ? Did pegasos accept you for vad ?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is so awful what you have to endure and how peaceful, dignified and legal euthanasia is made so difficult and often inaccessible.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

This is so awful what you have to endure and how peaceful, dignified and legal euthanasia is made so difficult and often inaccessible.

There is no logical reason to deny people who are in extreme torture a way out through assisted suicide, nembutal, suicide booths etc.

There is only the evil of these people who make nembutal, helping In suicide, suicide Booths into crimes . Why is it a crime to want to end your extreme suffering?

OP has described for over 5 years how they are having trouble convincing even their family they are suffering extreme torture. Only the individual suffering knows the extent of their pain and the hopelessness of the situation, the gravity of the situation. It should be up to the individual if they want to live or die , to exit this prison hell called life and this evil world. Plus we all die anyway so they are keeping all of us prisoners and torturing us for no reason other than their sick fictional ideologies which have no basis in truth nor logic

Nembutal, suicide booths , assisted suicide should be available to all with no prescription required. Jus a few mouse clicks online and you're done.

Then they slander us saying we are a Death cult because we want to escape excruciating pain.