I know what it's like to be very, very down. There doesn't seem to be any way out. In my case, it was external circumstances that threw me into a very deep depression (which I nearly didn't survive), and indeed there wasn't any way out until those circumstances changed.
I can't help you die. Nor can anyone else. Only you can take the steps to die if you want to go that route.
Are you able to stop thinking for a while about how bad things are? If you can clear your head enough to do that, you might be able to start thinking about what to do about it.
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