Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
I mean, I don't even really talk to anyone a lot here, but I come by almost every day, read threads, comment on some. I feel so alone and so not needed by anyone, lost, discarded and forgotten, god this is a cruel world. I look forward to coming here. This is the only place I feel whatever I've got to say is welcomed at least in some ways, at least a little bit. This is the only genuine connection I have with anyone or anything. This is the only place I'm real at. I don't know what I would do without this place. This is the only connection I have to the world. If it wasn't for this place I'd most likely kill myself long ago already.

How do you feel?

Love,
—Alec.
 
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E

emie_

Member
May 28, 2020
31
I completely understand what you mean. I don't really talk to anyone anymore besides my boyfriend... so I've been spending most of my days on this site and it's making me feel less lonely, not necessarily because I'm talking to people here, but more so because I can relate to a lot of what people talk about in here, and share with them many of their feelings and experiences and thoughts relating to suicide.

Also, I remember you leaving a nice message to one of my posts, thank you for that :)):heart:
 
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SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
612
I think this forum's great.

It's the only place you can be around a group of people, say "yeah I might kill myself soon" and not be treated with contempt/horror.
 
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moonchild

moonchild

Student
May 8, 2020
125
I think this forum's great.

It's the only place you can be around a group of people, say "yeah I might kill myself soon" and not be treated with contempt/horror.
Very good description. I lurked a lot before joining and it's always felt like kind of an understanding hug, if that makes sense. No uncomfortable questions or excessive worry, just kind of hey I feel you, I understand. Which is incredibly hard to come by irl.
 
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Amnesty

Amnesty

Suicidal Cheesecake
Jun 2, 2020
172
Very good description. I lurked a lot before joining and it's always felt like kind of an understanding hug, if that makes sense. No uncomfortable questions or excessive worry, just kind of hey I feel you, I understand. Which is incredibly hard to come by irl.
Same.
 
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G

garbagemonkey

Member
May 18, 2020
32
I am sorry you feel so alone. I feel alone too even though I have family around 24/7. I can't talk to them about how I feel at all. I am living in my own mind, and it's my mind that is killing me! Oh the irony. I agree this place is wonderful. Some connection to other people who understand.
 
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Amnesty

Amnesty

Suicidal Cheesecake
Jun 2, 2020
172
minus the lurking yet still.
 
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TheNorthernSilence

TheNorthernSilence

Arcanist
Nov 13, 2018
430
Relatable. It's more painful to feel alone around people than to be alone.
 
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D

Desi

Student
Aug 16, 2019
118
There are kind people here and people you can relate too. Their stories echo yours, somehow. I think, since most of us feel pretty bad in general, we relate to each other's pain more and we're kinder as a result.
When I ctb- it's going to happen i know it- i'll make sure this freedom space of SS is not impacted in any way. I know it offer some relief to some people.
I know it's not going to help me but i'm going to drink alone tonight and hang around here.
If you happen to read me somewhere and I don't make any sense, you'll know why, forgive me :wink:


ps: btw, God bless America for SS, in'my country the entire thing would have been brought down asap by some medical or'police agency.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I understand. I was the same and people on here stopped me feeling utterly worthless. Now I have accepted that I'm alone.
 
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F

Fish Face

Student
Apr 19, 2019
117
It is the only place in my life I have felt understood.
 
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Fish_astronaut

Fish_astronaut

Member
Apr 4, 2019
8
People here understand in a way I have never found irl and it helps me feel less alone. I think this place has helped me stay around longer. I am a professional in my 30s and I absolutely have no one I can express my true feelings to in my everyday life without being immediately looked at with disgust or like I'm totally batshit. I go to work and have to pretend all day, go through the motions of a high demand job, have to pretend like I have all the confidence in the world and am not literally treading water every day. I have a high drama family, so I have to hear their problems with little to no concern for my own, which I wish I had the ability to let go of more, but their problems only add to my anxiety. And then they wonder why I am unenthusiastic and low energy. Sorry, this became a rant. Basically, this place is a haven for people like us.
 
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WinterFaust

WinterFaust

Shimmer
Apr 13, 2020
412
I definitely can relate. It's so hard. I have a few things going on but the loneliness makes everything so much more difficult. I've been living with my mom for the last year but I rarely see her and my childhood was a little rocky so the connection is not really there. I don't have friends, a significant other, and I'm unemployed so I don't really see anyone at all. It's incredibly lonely. I'm so grateful for this community and that there others who understand and won't make you feel awful for being tired of everything.
 
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Sad_Autistic_boy_101

Sad_Autistic_boy_101

When I die, you'll love me.
Nov 19, 2019
453
This is exactly how I feel.
I go on this site everyday and contribute whilst making connections though I do feel ignored sometimes whilst trying to join in. I can post my feelings without worrying about consequences and get validation that I do not experience in my personal life. It's easier on here to be myself as the people can't see me, it's just what I want people to know about me and then hope they like me.
 
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S

Sadkitty

Student
May 16, 2020
100
Very well put. I spend most of my day here. It's the only thing I have right now.
 
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HappyMstake

HappyMstake

Not so happy as it turns out.
May 29, 2020
170
Yeah, keep coming back to this site periodically through out the day. Everyone here are the only people I've actually told about my suicidal behavior and attempts. Everyone on the outside like my family and friends feel like suicide is such a taboo thing to talk about, and no one in my family has committed suicide or even talked about having depression, as far as I know. So either I'm the the bad egg or there's people in my family that feel the way that I do.

Either way, this in a way is my escape for now and my way to vent without having to censor everything I say because it makes everyone else "uncomfortable."
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It's alright. We all get something out of it. It's mutually beneficial. I can't really dress it up as anything more than that to feel better because then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. I deal in cold, hard reality
 
plough22

plough22

Living but not really, just surviving
May 1, 2020
226
I too can relate to what you're saying, it is the only place where it is safe to talk. You're not judged or made fun of, not pressured either. Glad I found this space, it has helped me to investigate my method. We are all seeking PEACE in some format, that's what we get from here.
 
disconnection

disconnection

It's the blue hour again
Apr 24, 2020
312
I mean, I don't even really talk to anyone a lot here, but I come by almost every day, read threads, comment on some. I feel so alone and so not needed by anyone, lost, discarded and forgotten, god this is a cruel world. I look forward to coming here. This is the only place I feel whatever I've got to say is welcomed at least in some ways, at least a little bit. This is the only genuine connection I have with anyone or anything. This is the only place I'm real at. I don't know what I would do without this place. This is the only connection I have to the world. If it wasn't for this place I'd most likely kill myself long ago already.

How do you feel?

Love,
—Alec.
Ha I could have written this myself! Thank you for expressing it. And even here I feel that others don't quite see me, even here I'm just that bit more disconnected than most.. I chose the right name.

Lots of love to you, I've noticed that you're always very kind to people. Kindness is so underrated in this world. :heart:
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
Ha I could have written this myself! Thank you for expressing it. And even here I feel that others don't quite see me, even here I'm just that bit more disconnected than most.. I chose the right name.

Lots of love to you, I've noticed that you're always very kind to people. Kindness is so underrated in this world. :heart:
Yeah, kindness is really underrated. I remember when realizing this fact. It made me feel so sad. Especially when people say, "just give me a call if you need some help, or someone to talk to. You can always contact me. That's what friends are for". And so I did, but no one had the time. They were all busy, "but next time".....
I'm not like that, and I'll never be. I either don't promise anything, or I keep my promises.
LoveS
 
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disconnection

disconnection

It's the blue hour again
Apr 24, 2020
312
Yeah, kindness is really underrated. I remember when realizing this fact. It made me feel so sad. Especially when people say, "just give me a call if you need some help, or someone to talk to. You can always contact me. That's what friends are for". And so I did, but no one had the time. They were all busy, "but next time".....
I'm not like that, and I'll never be. I either don't promise anything, or I keep my promises.
LoveS
You sound lovely! I'm so sorry that you haven't been able to rely on people but really glad that you're here and able to be honest about how you're feeling with us. Most of the world will never understand these sorts of feelings x
 
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Bct

Bct

Disqualified from Being Human
Apr 20, 2020
419
I love how most people here are compassionate. I love how we can express our feelings toward suicide without being judged or talked as "you're too negative!", whereas in real life some may ask "What happened?" yet when I answered it, just met with stony silence.
 
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