Venting this is how my dad responds to me…anyone else have a parent who makes things even worse?

[iamthezero]

me and my dad don't have the best relationship. he's an on and off alcoholic who walked out on me and my mom when i was 11 to go to rehab and never came back, didn't see him again until my moms funeral when i was 16. we didn't reconnect until i was like 24 and we've been talking off and on since then over the last few years. Im pretty open with him about wanting to die it just is what it is. i always joke to myself if i ever need that final push to jump i could just call my dad. (Obviously insurance has suicide clauses so he's just talking)



He'll say this and then the next message will be "i love you"
lol this is most recent from yesterday, im trying to get my "affairs" in order. one of the things i hold to my heart is my mothers stuff. he wants me to move in with him so he can have a full time caregiver and told me
I could find a job there.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

My dad told me to just kill myself so that everyone can finally "move on." My grandparents' biggest concern was that I do it, it will reflect poorly on them and make it seem like it's "[their] fault." We have to recognize that after a while, when we make constant threats, people become desentized and won't believe us anymore.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.