Thinking of N now that I have SN

[CantDoIt]

I already have SN but my mind is now going to N a LOT. I think I would be able to go through with SN but N would be a lot easier and more peaceful and I am a coward.

I hate feeling unsatisfied with my methods but 20 minutes of nausea and other symptoms would definitely be something I would prefer to avoid.

I get that it's better than nothing but it has me frustrated double thinking how I'm going to do this.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Just remember that its proving harder and harder to get Re N or New N. What you already have will eventually follow the same path as it gets out more. This is not any kind of push bc that's forever your own choice. But just a gentle reminder.

 

[CantDoIt]

Just remember that its proving harder and harder to get Re N or New N. What you already have will eventually follow the same path as it gets out more. This is not any kind of push bc that's forever your own choice. But just a gentle reminder.

Yesh I definitely agree with you here. I still have the SN and plan on holding onto it. I don't want to have to use something even more difficult. Traditional methods like jumping are all too much to think about.

 

[Willy Wonka]

Yesh I definitely agree with you here. I still have the SN and plan on holding onto it. I don't want to have to use something even more difficult. Traditional methods like jumping are all too much to think about.

Are you using the SN in accordance to Stan's Guide?

 

[CantDoIt]

Are you using the SN in accordance to Stan's Guide?

It depends on whether or not I can get Benzos. Otherwise, I only have access to propranolol, SN, and meto.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Remember, it's not all needed for success as long as you prepare enough SN. I'd say Meto and prop. Are two of the best to have locked down.

 

[Willy Wonka]

It depends on whether or not I can get Benzos. Otherwise, I only have access to propranolol, SN, and meto.

Personally, I wouldn't do it without the Benzos cause as effective as it might be it seriously sounds so awful to CTB by SN otherwise...

So yeah, I totally get why you would prefer N.

 

[LittleBit]

Lol im still working on the SN part of the equation, I think ill have to tough it out though. Likelihood of getting dopamine blockers are zero.

What's your step by step plan look like?

 

[astr4]

i don't want to push you one way or the other, but is it possible you might be moving the goalposts because there's some part of you that isn't ready? what is your subconscious telling you?

 

[CantDoIt]

i don't want to push you one way or the other, but is it possible you might be moving the goalposts because there's some part of you that isn't ready? what is your subconscious telling you?

I don't think I'll ever be 100 percent ready, but I don't see an enjoyable future. I don't want to prolong my suffering.

But I also have anxiety / OCD, so I have a tendency to worry and overthink. So of course, I would prefer to have an "easy way out."

Lol im still working on the SN part of the equation, I think ill have to tough it out though. Likelihood of getting dopamine blockers are zero.

What's your step by step plan look like?

God I'm sorry, yeah it's a pain to get ahold of these things.

Step by step isn't planned yet because I'm waiting to see how likely it'll be for me to get Benzos. :)

Personally, I wouldn't do it without the Benzos cause as effective as it might be it seriously sounds so awful to CTB by SN otherwise...

So yeah, I totally get why you would prefer N.

People on this forum are increasingly doing it without the Benzos and even without the AE but yeah there is a large part of me that is not particularly enjoying the thought of it. I don't like some of the descriptions.

Personally, I wouldn't do it without the Benzos cause as effective as it might be it seriously sounds so awful to CTB by SN otherwise...

So yeah, I totally get why you would prefer N.

People on this forum are increasingly doing it without the Benzos and even without the AE but yeah there is a large part of me that is not particularly enjoying the thought of it. I don't like some of the descriptions.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

I don't think I'll ever be 100 percent ready, but I don't see an enjoyable future. I don't want to prolong my suffering.

But I also have anxiety / OCD, so I have a tendency to worry and overthink. So of course, I would prefer to have an "easy way out."

God I'm sorry, yeah it's a pain to get ahold of these things.

Step by step isn't planned yet because I'm waiting to see how likely it'll be for me to get Benzos. :)

well like we discussed in DMs, my offer is still on the table. like you, i don't forsee a future worth living for, no matter what. i have a way to get N, We can partner up in your country and do this. I'm paralysed by fear but I know with someone else it will be easier to accomplish this

 

[CantDoIt]

well like we discussed in DMs, my offer is still on the table. like you, i don't forsee a future worth living for, no matter what. i have a way to get N, We can partner up in your country and do this. I'm paralysed by fear but I know with someone else it will be easier to accomplish this

Thanks, I really appreciate it. The only issue I have is the timing but I'll give it some additional thought. I'm even more paralyzed with fear when it comes to SN, so ...

 

[Willy Wonka]

I don't think I'll ever be 100 percent ready, but I don't see an enjoyable future. I don't want to prolong my suffering.

But I also have anxiety / OCD, so I have a tendency to worry and overthink. So of course, I would prefer to have an "easy way out."

God I'm sorry, yeah it's a pain to get ahold of these things.

Step by step isn't planned yet because I'm waiting to see how likely it'll be for me to get Benzos. :)

People on this forum are increasingly doing it without the Benzos and even without the AE but yeah there is a large part of me that is not particularly enjoying the thought of it. I don't like some of the descriptions.

People on this forum are increasingly doing it without the Benzos and even without the AE but yeah there is a large part of me that is not particularly enjoying the thought of it. I don't like some of the descriptions.

Yes. I observe that as well but as I said - I'd only do it if I were able to stick 100% to Stan's Guide (also not considering any "optional" substances as optional at all and would rather even add more to it).

 

[FuneralCry]

I also really wish for N, I wish for a painless death like never waking again to bring me true peace from all this suffering, in fact it's all I wish for, for me personally it'd be such a relief to be able to die in such a peaceful way.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. The only issue I have is the timing but I'll give it some additional thought. I'm even more paralyzed with fear when it comes to SN, so ...

I feel you...I want it easy as well

 

[Willy Wonka]

well like we discussed in DMs, my offer is still on the table. like you, i don't forsee a future worth living for, no matter what. i have a way to get N, We can partner up in your country and do this. I'm paralysed by fear but I know with someone else it will be easier to accomplish this

ok, reading this makes me VERY curious... :D

ok, reading this makes me VERY curious... :D

c'mon you can't just write sth like this without dm'ing me the details @cryptoinvestor

 

[tiredandafraid]

I'm in need of N too. It's the only peaceful way. I've been physically tortured enough. I want a gentle exit.

 

[badtothebone]

I already have SN but my mind is now going to N a LOT. I think I would be able to go through with SN but N would be a lot easier and more peaceful and I am a coward.

I hate feeling unsatisfied with my methods but 20 minutes of nausea and other symptoms would definitely be something I would prefer to avoid.

I get that it's better than nothing but it has me frustrated double thinking how I'm going to do this.

I prob won't be able to do it due to the taste. I don't think I can drink something taste this kind of salty

 

[CantDoIt]

I prob won't be able to do it due to the taste. I don't think I can drink something taste this kind of salty

I'm okay with salty, apparently N tastes bad too....but I get it, its definitely not pleasant at all

 

[CantDoIt]

I'm in need of N too. It's the only peaceful way. I've been physically tortured enough. I want a gentle exit.

Same! I've also been mentally tortured enough and 20 minutes of people pondering my regrets sounds like misery

 

[Unspoken7612]

Lol im still working on the SN part of the equation, I think ill have to tough it out though. Likelihood of getting dopamine blockers are zero.

What's your step by step plan look like?

You can get dopamine blockers from Indian "online pharmacies" without prescription.

 

[badtothebone]

I'm okay with salty, apparently N tastes bad too....but I get it, its definitely not pleasant at all

People here saying it's a small amount of water if it's not a lot to drink I'll prob do it. Today is a bad day for me I'm just wishing to die now

 

[ham and potatoes]

It's a shame N is so hard to come by. It's used every day in hospitals for Anastasia. Vets use it to euthanize animals. Including large quantities for large animals like horses.
You'd think someone could get their hands on some from time to time and sell em on the DNMs....

 

[CantDoIt]

It's a shame N is so hard to come by. It's used every day in hospitals for Anastasia. Vets use it to euthanize animals. Including large quantities for large animals like horses.
You'd think someone could get their hands on some from time to time and sell em on the DNMs....

God I wish. I don't know if it's in accordance with forum rules, however.

 

[LittleBit]

Can you not wash it all down with water? Probably a dumb question...

 

[ham and potatoes]

God I wish. I don't know if it's in accordance with forum rules, however.

however? lol

 

[yersalu]

well like we discussed in DMs, my offer is still on the table. like you, i don't forsee a future worth living for, no matter what. i have a way to get N, We can partner up in your country and do this. I'm paralysed by fear but I know with someone else it will be easier to accomplish this.

Please, I'm desperated to die. I need some of N. How could I obtain It? Sorry for my english. I'm from Spain.

 

[Thisisme373]

I also really wish I had N. I understand how you're feeling

 

[CantDoIt]

Please, I'm desperated to die. I need some of N. How could I obtain It? Sorry for my english. I'm from Spain.

There's no easy way to get it unfortunately.

 

[ham and potatoes]

not just N, but any barbiturates would be fantastic to get ahold of.....