thinking of ctb sooner rather than later

[comeoutandhauntme]

an update for anyone who cares, though i doubt that as i've mostly just been using this forum to talk to myself lmfao. anyways, originally i planned on ctb in late may-early june but the more i thought abt it, i think i should do it asap. there's no "good" time to do it, but rn in this feb-march era of life is prbly the best i'm gonna get. no holidays, no birthdays, nothing significant happening in anyone i love's life. all that's left to do is order everything that i need. i've found DSL and know of another website to order SN from besides, i just need to find some meto and maybe see if i can get my hands on a sedative to make the process a little faster/more peaceful. if not, i'll prbly just take some benadryl, it always knocks me out. just got to write my notes and get some things in order and hopefully in the next few weeks i'll finally be at rest :)

 

[jbleakness]

It's always good to set a date. Feels more real that way. Much more time to meditate on the ultimate decision.

I find it's always a battle in our minds and shutting of that reptilian part that wants us to live....all the best

 

[eggsausagerice]

i'm the same way. i hope we both find our peace. april and onward isn't a good time for me. i don't want to make people celebrate my birthday or ruin my friends' birthdays in april or may. i would feel like a bad person for dying in the same month. holidays start coming quickly, too. i was worried about ruining christmas if i did it during december.