Thinking about the people affected

[Felix007]

do you ever think about the people affected by you ctbing? like how life goes on after you're gone and what your family or whoever will have to deal with it? whenever i think about it, it makes me feel guilty that i would even consider ctb, but this is my life and im suffering, so why would i need to prolong my suffering because of a couple of people that will be affected?
dont get me wrong, i dont want to hurt my family, but do i need to keep suffering in silence because of that?...

 

[Mofreeko]

It's your life. You need to decide if it's worth it to hang on for loved ones or not. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, as long as you make it yourself.

 

[outrider567]

do you ever think about the people affected by you ctbing? like how life goes on after you're gone and what your family or whoever will have to deal with it? whenever i think about it, it makes me feel guilty that i would even consider ctb, but this is my life and im suffering, so why would i need to prolong my suffering because of a couple of people that will be affected?
dont get me wrong, i dont want to hurt my family, but do i need to keep suffering in silence because of that?...

Same here--Only about 3 people will be affected by my CTB, just my stepmother and my two cousins

 

[Felix007]

Same here--Only about 3 people will be affected by my CTB, just my stepmother and my two cousins

same here, only my mother, father, brother and maybe a couple of relatives but thats it...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess I'm lucky that there is no one who will be affected by my death. Such is the only reward of being truly alone.

 

[theboy]

I always think about it

 

[Lifeaballache]

I guess I'm lucky that there is no one who will be affected by my death. Such is the only reward of being truly alone.

This is exactly why I want to CBT now while people will remember me rather than grow old and be lonely.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

For me.....I know my family loves me. I am family. However, I have been like this a vast majority of my life and what happened last year, well, I am pretty sure most of my family is just waiting for me to do it. Not that they want me to, but they know if I really want to do it, no stopping me.

The saddest part is is even though they know, they really don't make much of an effort to understand. As soon as I start getting into explaining, right away with the see a professional and you just need to get over it, we are depressed too. Yeah, they aren't going to be too affected by my passing. Sad, yes, but life changing? Not at all. I am not that important to anyone and if I died today, things honestly wouldn't change at all. I would simply be replaced and forgotten quickly. Like the ghost I have come to realize I am....

 

[Colgate]

In my case not so many and the older I get the less I care.

 

[Jimblue]

I don't give shit about how they feel now and if it's going to affect them or not. They never give a shit about how I feel when I alive.

What's the point of be nasty to someone and feeling sad after she or he CTB. They scared people think it's their fault that I CTB.

Or they may not feel sad, they just don't want to looking bad.

Feeling my husband probably will feel "sad" because no one cook for him anymore, no one doing housework any more. And he probably will feel struggle about how to explain people why I choose CTB, and may affect his career, or hard to explain to a new woman his last wife CTB.

From my previous experience, they never actually care why I choose to CTB. Always blame me that I caused so much trouble because of trying to CTB, but failed.

Blame me I give them extra work to do. Never show any concern even I was in hospital.

Told me I have wasted ambulances staffs time, even I was not the person called ambulance.

 

[thebunny]

we all deserve peace and those who despise you for wanting it should rot. we've always been told to put ourselves first amongst all other people, so i don't see anything wrong for practicing it.

someone is bound to get hurt from your departure—you can't really blame them for caring about you, but the best that they could do is to understand the situation and be happy for you.

i, for one, will leave a bunch of people behind and i know they will get heavily affected by my ctb. i used to feel guilty about it until i realise that my own well-being matters the most. perhaps its selfish, perhaps not—i don't really care much anymore.

i deserve to rest and be happy too, and this is my way of achieving them.

 

[Hope:-)]

Honestly, I have no one who will care. They will all blame it on mental illness, (which I don't personally have,) and say I was selfish for years. Either way, they will be cruel. I feel for people who have loving families, especially if they have kids. It must be awful to be miserable and yet still have that responsibility. I don't know what's that like, but it must be very hard. Much love to you xx

 

[Jimblue]

Honestly, I have no one who will care. They will all blame it on mental illness, (which I don't personally have,) and say I was selfish for years. Either way, they will be cruel. I feel for people who have loving families, especially if they have kids. It must be awful to be miserable and yet still have that responsibility. I don't know what's that like, but it must be very hard. Much love to you xx

I am very sorry that happened to you. I knew exactly how it feel. But look positive side which mean no one will hold us back. And we don't need to feel guilty for leaving anyone behind.

 

[notlongnow]

Very very often.

The crisis team recently projected that guilt factor of me heavy, its a good tactic because if you still hold any emotion, it kinda works.

 

[StolenLife]

I will leave behind my parents and a grandma. I feel sorry for my grandma, but I don't think I can handle her passing on top of everything else. She hasn't seen me happy and content since I was a child, every time I visit or talk to her she only sees the depressed and miserable side of me, and I think it is starting to affect her as well.
My parents on the other hand... I have less sympathy for them, even though I do still love them, or at least the idealized version of them which exists inside my head. But they made so many stupid decisions at the time I needed them the most, and they don't even want to admit that they screwed up. At least I am blessed with the fact that their mistakes came from ignorance and stubborness rather than outright malice. They honestly weren't equipped to deal with a child like me, and no one could have predicted how much of an effect my issues at the time would have on my future.
I have no one besides that small family of mine, no cousins, no siblings, no friends or a love interest... So my life would have most likely ended up with me commiting suicide either way, just much older and more worn out.

 

[FuneralCry]

It could never be my concern how people would react if I was to die. I wouldn't be there at that point. One needs a consciousness to care about anything and the non existent are incapable of feeling anything at all.
Death is inevitable for all humans anyway, we only exist just to die and be forgotten about, it's all that we are destined for so therefore this is why I see it as being preferable to exit at a time of my own choosing rather than it being at a time out of my control. Staying alive only prolongs suffering all for no purpose.

 

[lanahelp]

All the time… I wish all some clarity in this regard. I am blessed with live snd support and so many lives will be devastated. They will go on. I don't want to die yet, with Lyme disease in my brain (firmer professor), I lost my soul when bitten 6 yea ago. I'm living in hell. They are by day association, yet not the one suffering. Thinking about that last moment of actually doing it and knowing if this devastation had kept me fighting. I think I'm losing the battle. Had N. Ex found and discarded it. Awaiting and praying for something new to arrive. security blanket. Heart broken and scared.

 

[Forest Fire]

At least I am blessed with the fact that their mistakes came from ignorance and stubborness rather than outright malice. They honestly weren't equipped to deal with a child like me, and no one could have predicted how much of an effect my issues at the time would have on my future.
I have no one besides that small family of mine, no cousins, no siblings, no friends or a love interest... So my life would have most likely ended up with me commiting suicide either way, just much older and more worn out.

This made me sad reading this as it is pretty much my situation except i have one friend who i see every couple of weeks or so.
And to answer the thread, it's thoughts of how it would affect my family that have stopped me from doing anything final yet. Thinking of them makes me feel so guilty!

 

[Suicidе]

Inevitable, someone will find body even if don't Ctb and may or may not get traumatized. Even if in a decomposing state it probably will still cause trauma any method any where is fine. Death despite being unavoidable, already makes trauma so can't see what's wrong with ctb.

 

[Final-push123]

I have mainly church friends and a small number of family members. Outside of that Most people wouldn't care if I catch the bus.

All I got to do is poison the few relationships I have and then I can ride the bus guilt free

Edit:spelling and grammar

 

[locked*n*loaded]

This is exactly why I want to CBT now while people will remember me rather than grow old and be lonely.

All of us are forgotten, eventually, when all people that we know die off.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've always wanted to hang on for a couple of people in my life- who I think would have been the most affected. One has passed on now but I still want to wait for my Dad to go first. That's mainly because (at the moment) I feel like I can though. I think things can become just too much for any of us and then, we simply have to get out. I personally believe it's more cruel to expect a person to live in agony rather than for that person to throw in the towel early.

 

[Lifeaballache]

All of us are forgotten, eventually, when all people that we know die off.

I know but I'd hate to be old and lonely.

 

[makethepainstop]

Someone will always be affected when we ctb. It nothing else law enforcement when they find we ctb. The ambulance people who pick up our leftovers. The funeral home. And that's even with no friends or family.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I know but I'd hate to be old and lonely.

I hear you. There's a lot of that in this world.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Someone will always be affected when we ctb. It nothing else law enforcement when they find we ctb. The ambulance people who pick up our leftovers. The funeral home. And that's even with no friends or family.

At least those people go into those jobs expecting to see some sick shit, and not just from suicides either, because a lot of them have to see the aftermath of accidental deaths, like car accidents, terminal illnesses where the body wastes away until finally giving out, and sometimes even murder when it happens. If I wasn't currently suicidal and was in their shoes, I think I would eventually start to envy the ones who left by suicide, because seeing all the other ways people can die would open my eyes to the horrors that exist in our world.

do you ever think about the people affected by you ctbing? like how life goes on after you're gone and what your family or whoever will have to deal with it? whenever i think about it, it makes me feel guilty that i would even consider ctb, but this is my life and im suffering, so why would i need to prolong my suffering because of a couple of people that will be affected?
dont get me wrong, i dont want to hurt my family, but do i need to keep suffering in silence because of that?...

Yes, I think about them all the time. Part of the reason I'm still here is because I don't want to hurt them, but the problem with staying alive for the sake of other people is that it isn't sustainable. If you can't find a reason to live for yourself, then sooner or later you're gonna stop caring about those people and leave anyway, which seems to be what's happening to me with my family.

I don't want to hurt anyone by committing suicide, but there's no way to avoid it unfortunately. When I'm finally ready to do it, I'll just know that it's time, and all I can do is hope for the best on my way out.