Thinking about the moment after, or not

[Laststop]

One of the things I see people do that I'm trying not to is thinking about after committing the act to CTB. Some people post pictures, or even videos, showing the aftermath of people who have used the various methods we talk about. I can't see why personally. Seeing the ugly side of it is good, if you want to be turned off of it. But I get the impression not everyone who posts these things are doing it to turn people off from it. More, being informative, without taking a side. But for me I hate to think about myself like that. So I choose to not imagine the moment after the act.

 

[TimeToDie]

If I remember correctly, you were going to use a gun, apparently a 12-gauge that you recently got in exchange for a 9mm. There certainly are some gruesome shotgun suicide pics out there. No other method is as visually stunning. Doesn't really matter how horrific the image is as you won't be around to see it. I have long wondered if one even hears the blast or if buckshot moving faster than the speed of sound eliminates consciousness before you can hear anything.

For a very pretty & peaceful suicide pic look up Evelyn McHale. She looks so peaceful & elegant after landing on a limo.

 

[Laststop]

If I remember correctly, you were going to use a gun, apparently a 12-gauge that you recently got in exchange for a 9mm. There certainly are some gruesome shotgun suicide pics out there. No other method is as visually stunning. Doesn't really matter how horrific the image is as you won't be around to see it. I have long wondered if one even hears the blast or if buckshot moving faster than the speed of sound eliminates consciousness before you can hear anything.

Very correct on method. My arriving at this thought comes from seeing photos ever since the Internet became a thing, and making the mistake of viewing them. Shotgun to the head? Saw it years ago, and it doesn't help thinking about it. I recently thought about how I would CTB if I went to another State out of a sense of going out in a special way, or place, and maybe not being able to do it with a firearm. I looked at suspension methods, which led to looking at photos of people who have hanged themselves. Seeing photos of people just hung, and people founds days after, and what they look like, does not lend itself well to getting the courage up.

 

[TimeToDie]

Very correct on method. My arriving at this thought comes from seeing photos ever since the Internet became a thing, and making the mistake of viewing them. Shotgun to the head? Saw it years ago, and it doesn't help thinking about it. I recently thought about how I would CTB if I went to another State out of a sense of going out in a special way, or place, and maybe not being able to do it with a firearm. I looked at suspension methods, which led to looking at photos of people who have hanged themselves. Seeing photos of people just hung, and people founds days after, and what they look like, does not lend itself well to getting the courage up.

Months ago I was obsessed with looking at pics (and a couple videos) of shotgun suicides. They are horrifying and not even the biggest budget in Hollywood can come up with a horror film that compares. If you want to feel confident about shotgun death being instant & presumably painless there is a YouTube video of a California guy with AIDS who was filmed by a news chopper while on the highway. First he was going to die in his truck that he set on fire, but he quickly jumps out and decides to use a shotgun. Footage is from quite a distance and grainy though you can still see a red mist of blood & brain exploding from his head and then he instantly drops to the ground and blood pours out all over the highway. I was amazed by the massive stream of blood.

I am all too aware of how exceedingly difficult it is to shoot yourself. Hell, it's difficult enough just to shoot a dying pet rat in my experience.

While a gun is a truly terrifying way to die, it actually looks good when compared to hanging (or jumping or drowning or cutting or train). I found myself wondering how it would even be possible to hang. Before finding this forum, I didn't even know that partial hanging was a thing. I guess if done right it's not painful since folks like David Carradine find it so pleasant that they end up dead without trying.

 

[Laststop]

Months ago I was obsessed with looking at pics (and a couple videos) of shotgun suicides. They are horrifying and not even the biggest budget in Hollywood can come up with a horror film that compares. If you want to feel confident about shotgun death being instant & presumably painless there is a YouTube video of a California guy with AIDS who was filmed by a news chopper while on the highway. First he was going to die in his truck that he set on fire, but he quickly jumps out and decides to use a shotgun. Footage is from quite a distance and grainy though you can still see a red mist of blood & brain exploding from his head and then he instantly drops to the ground and blood pours out all over the highway. I was amazed by the massive stream of blood.

I am all too aware of how exceedingly difficult it is to shoot yourself. Hell, it's difficult enough just to shoot a dying pet rat in my experience.

While a gun is a truly terrifying way to die, it actually looks good when compared to hanging (or jumping or drowning or cutting or train). I found myself wondering how it would even be possible to hang. Before finding this forum, I didn't even know that partial hanging was a thing. I guess if done right it's not painful since folks like David Carradine find it so pleasant that they end up dead without trying.

I think we're on the same page here. I think I have that method down. At least how to do it right. I both have the tool needed, and the skill above the average person to see it out. I'd rather focus on the act of doing it, rather than the aftermath, which, at least to me, is a turn off. The knowledge of what a shotgun to the head does is useful towards having confidence in the method. But not picturing it. Or any other method. I have more confidence in the shotgun. More so than the hanging. I think about it if I went to another place, and couldn't have the shotgun. Hanging. I guess that's my number 2 method, in that circumstance. I can think of places I'd like to do it. But taking my gun isn't an option if I do. You're right that I won't be around to care about after. It's thinking about before that bugs me.