Thinking about the fact other people in my situation would have already CTB

[LostInTheWoods]

A depressing reality is knowing that many people in my situation would have already committed CTB. The same people that maybe tell me things like go ahead, don't give up etc in my situation would have already CTB. It's depressing because it makes me feel an idiot for being alive. I bore things that would destroy many people. Not everyone, because for example here I read stories who are a lot worse than mine. But the majority of people had a normal life, and for them it's already strange not to have eat with their family not even once in their life, if it happened, like it happened to me. Just a small thing like that. And yeah, I wonder if people who knew me thought that, Like "I don't know who he can go ahead, I would be miserable", something like that. and it's depressing because I feel like a clown who can't see his miserabile life.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Yeah I can relate to this a lot.
I am not human, I am just Homo Sapiens.

 

[enduringwinter]

Absolutely. And deep down they think my problems aren't worth talking about, it always slips. And I have to pretend that our lives are equal and have to keep entertaining them when I'm going through 15 emergencies at once and keep listening to their non-issues without ever being reciprocated. They will never have the chance to live this kind of life and still they look down on me with disdain and innate arrogance.

 

[mrtime87]

I'm in the same boat but trust me, you're not alone. Suicide is essentially murder, and it's extremely hard to murder someone, let alone yourself.

Sometimes I say it's not fair but then I think about someone who's hung themself, and realize how unpleasant a hanging is.

If you have something to live for grasp onto it, even if it's just the fact that you still have God health or a warm bed.

So many things omto be depressed about, but always know, somewhere out there someone is hurting way worse than you.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I really get what everyone is saying. I am only her because of my survival instinct and nothing else - its amasing how strong this instinct is and what we can endure as humans simply because of it, even when we think we can't take anymore.