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attackingvertical

attackingvertical

Member
Oct 20, 2025
9
I wasn't sure which thread to post this under since it felt too vent-y for offtopic or recovery, but it isn't directly about catching the bus. Feel free to correct me if I should post elsewhere.

I've mentioned before on this site how I have the urge to just drop everything and run away from everyone and everything. A fresh start. That feeling is back in full now. I failed my online chem class. This is my third time failing gen chem 2. The first two times were in in-person uni. I thought online school would be right for me and for the first quarter it was. Then I ruined everything again. I used to be a really good student. Like in the gifted program, took honors/ap classes good. I look back now and see the slow decline i've been in since elemnetary school. One that sped up signifigantly when I reached college.

I can't tell my mom I failed again. I can't tell her I'm depressed again. I'm sure she and my dad are tired of hearing that.

I've thought about just CBT-ing, but honestly I'm too much of a coward for it. The next best thing I can think of is just running away and starting fresh where no one has to see me like this, and I don't have to be constantly anxious. I know there's some internships related to my field of interest I could take. Its a bit out there, but if anyone has advice for moving away and starting over I'd appreciate it. I think I'm gonna sell most my stuff. Id have to stay where I am till my current lease runs out and so I can save.
 
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