リンさん
Rina • she/her, lesbian
- Sep 9, 2023
- 323
This is a mostly off topic thread, but since I will be mentioning suicide, I think this is the more appropriate place to post it.
I've been quite tunnel visioned on committing suicide via hanging, and I still strongly consider it, but there are a few things that made me change my decision for now.
One of the people I really care about and connected to while they were still alive passed away from SN. I really miss them and think about them often. They're in a better place now, so that makes me happy, but there's still this selfish part of me which can't help but wish it could still talk to them.
So in my mind, this would make my death something more special than just pushing the chair and being done. Because I will be thinking of them when I do it, and will feel a similar connectedness, almost following their steps.
Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about lately. I can procure SN easily since it's not regulated where I live. But getting benzos and AE will be troublesome. I'm even thinking about flying to another country where this stuff is sold OTC lol.
If I get SN now, I'll have to come up with a creative way to store it, fully sealed and with stable temperature. I need it to last for at least 3 years. If SN is still available in 3 years, I'll just replace it. If not, it will be my call to use it.
I've been quite tunnel visioned on committing suicide via hanging, and I still strongly consider it, but there are a few things that made me change my decision for now.
One of the people I really care about and connected to while they were still alive passed away from SN. I really miss them and think about them often. They're in a better place now, so that makes me happy, but there's still this selfish part of me which can't help but wish it could still talk to them.
So in my mind, this would make my death something more special than just pushing the chair and being done. Because I will be thinking of them when I do it, and will feel a similar connectedness, almost following their steps.
Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about lately. I can procure SN easily since it's not regulated where I live. But getting benzos and AE will be troublesome. I'm even thinking about flying to another country where this stuff is sold OTC lol.
If I get SN now, I'll have to come up with a creative way to store it, fully sealed and with stable temperature. I need it to last for at least 3 years. If SN is still available in 3 years, I'll just replace it. If not, it will be my call to use it.
