HarmonicScreams
They/them
- Apr 30, 2023
- 25
I'm a new member to this forum but I've been reading many posts before I joined on the site. Mostly looking and studying methods to CTB. The thing is, I don't really want to die, but I am also tired of living. And I feel like things may get even worse, and when that time comes I want a peaceful way out.
A general tendency I've seen as of late, is that it is increasingly more difficult to find peaceful ways to CTB. And the other methods that are "peaceful" seem really unpleasant to me, tbh. An example would be SN; the only way it really works is if you can get access to heavy painkillers and anxiolytics; most of which are illegal to obtain without a prescription. And when people have posted about their experience live here they report a lot of vomiting and sometimes second thoughts, which is not something I would want to experience. I don't look down on people for doing it, I just don't have their bravery tbh.
When it comes to methods like hanging, I often see statistics and reports showing that failing is not uncommon. But after researching more, I realized that it's actually quite difficult to fail if you set everything up properly before hand. The challenge I would have is finding a private place to hang a rope where I would have the perfect length of drop and rope. Something else people often fail to do is they put the knot behind their neck instead of in front. I am not great at explaining it but this youtuber Dark Science explains it well. However, I also don't like the implications of someone finding my body hanging their and traumatizing someone. The fear of traumatizing other people keeps me from wanting to do any methods to CTB (e.g., bullet to the head). I mean I guess I could just try to do it in a lake, but there is also a possibility of some diver or fisherman discovering my remains. Maybe I am overthinking it. I honestly just feel like a loser. I want to CTB but I am too afraid to even try.
If you have any methods that are out there or you think would fit my situation, be free to type it in the comments. Bless
My first actual plan earlier in the year was to use inert gas like nitrogen. I was looking at methods thinking about using nitrogen or argon but I am worried that police would show up to my door asking me questions if I did. Are the police going after sales of inert gasses? Any info would be helpful
A general tendency I've seen as of late, is that it is increasingly more difficult to find peaceful ways to CTB. And the other methods that are "peaceful" seem really unpleasant to me, tbh. An example would be SN; the only way it really works is if you can get access to heavy painkillers and anxiolytics; most of which are illegal to obtain without a prescription. And when people have posted about their experience live here they report a lot of vomiting and sometimes second thoughts, which is not something I would want to experience. I don't look down on people for doing it, I just don't have their bravery tbh.
When it comes to methods like hanging, I often see statistics and reports showing that failing is not uncommon. But after researching more, I realized that it's actually quite difficult to fail if you set everything up properly before hand. The challenge I would have is finding a private place to hang a rope where I would have the perfect length of drop and rope. Something else people often fail to do is they put the knot behind their neck instead of in front. I am not great at explaining it but this youtuber Dark Science explains it well. However, I also don't like the implications of someone finding my body hanging their and traumatizing someone. The fear of traumatizing other people keeps me from wanting to do any methods to CTB (e.g., bullet to the head). I mean I guess I could just try to do it in a lake, but there is also a possibility of some diver or fisherman discovering my remains. Maybe I am overthinking it. I honestly just feel like a loser. I want to CTB but I am too afraid to even try.
If you have any methods that are out there or you think would fit my situation, be free to type it in the comments. Bless
My first actual plan earlier in the year was to use inert gas like nitrogen. I was looking at methods thinking about using nitrogen or argon but I am worried that police would show up to my door asking me questions if I did. Are the police going after sales of inert gasses? Any info would be helpful
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