Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I'm thinking about a ctb date. I don't want to say when yet since so many haven't worked out already and I'm embarrassed, and I'd really be if this doesn't work, but it's soon. I decided to make a list of the pros and cons of going on this day, and type out other thoughts and ideas I have. I am NOT asking whether or not I should ctb. I'm more thinking out loud, and maybe if anyone has advice on my plan, weighing in on the pros and cons of this specific day, and any other thoughts on this.
I plan to ctb in an area behind a park that has trees, bushes, and other plants to help conceal it. One ideal reason to go very soon is that the leaves will soon fall and make it slightly less hidden. I will go early, arriving at the park before 5am. I'll mix my three cups of SN at a picnic table then carry them to my place in a thing I have that has three cup holder. I will bring a sleeping bag to lay on and a blanket incase I need/want it. I plan to drink the SN between 5:00 and 5:15am, probably closer to 5:15.
Pros:
• Temperature forecasted to be 63°F at ctb time, likely the warmest day I'll get for many months
• There's a good chance that my mom will sleep in on this day
• My ctb place is definitely not somewhere my mom would think to look
• I don't think I'll be any more prepared than I am now, so what's the point in waiting?
• It's very unlikely that someone would find me too soon - it's behind a park (I know from experience that nobody goes into the park until mid morning or later), hidden, and I don't believe anyone could hear me from the trail or road
Cons:
• Mom might not sleep in
• Mom might want to go to the farmers market in the morning, so would notice my absence sooner and possibly call or text me
• There's a very slight chance that someone might find me too soon - it's outside, so no matter how well hidden the place is, I suppose the possibility is still there
Whenever I decide to do it, I'm thinking about taking my sleeping bag there the day before. It would be one less thing to carry when I go to ctb (I also have a backpack and drawstring bag), and it might be a good test to see if the place is as secure as I think it is. If it's gone, moved, or the bag it's in is opened I'd know that I might want to rethink the place. I don't think a "test" would be necessary though; I can't see anyone wanting to go through all the weeds and long grass to get to the place.
I'm thinking that this might also help motivate me to get up and out of bed in the morning, since I don't want it sitting outside too long. If it does happen to be gone, no big deal. I'm also bringing a blanket and could lay on that, but the sleep bag would be more comfortable. (I'm planning to spread it out open like a blanket.)
I don't know, part of me thinks that since I'm so indecisive maybe I do need to go over my plan more, maybe I'm not ready, with preparations I mean. Then again my anxiety makes me overthink everything, and this is a huge thing that I really can't mess up, so I'm not surprised that I'd be overthinking now.
I plan to ctb in an area behind a park that has trees, bushes, and other plants to help conceal it. One ideal reason to go very soon is that the leaves will soon fall and make it slightly less hidden. I will go early, arriving at the park before 5am. I'll mix my three cups of SN at a picnic table then carry them to my place in a thing I have that has three cup holder. I will bring a sleeping bag to lay on and a blanket incase I need/want it. I plan to drink the SN between 5:00 and 5:15am, probably closer to 5:15.
Pros:
• Temperature forecasted to be 63°F at ctb time, likely the warmest day I'll get for many months
• There's a good chance that my mom will sleep in on this day
• My ctb place is definitely not somewhere my mom would think to look
• I don't think I'll be any more prepared than I am now, so what's the point in waiting?
• It's very unlikely that someone would find me too soon - it's behind a park (I know from experience that nobody goes into the park until mid morning or later), hidden, and I don't believe anyone could hear me from the trail or road
Cons:
• Mom might not sleep in
• Mom might want to go to the farmers market in the morning, so would notice my absence sooner and possibly call or text me
• There's a very slight chance that someone might find me too soon - it's outside, so no matter how well hidden the place is, I suppose the possibility is still there
Whenever I decide to do it, I'm thinking about taking my sleeping bag there the day before. It would be one less thing to carry when I go to ctb (I also have a backpack and drawstring bag), and it might be a good test to see if the place is as secure as I think it is. If it's gone, moved, or the bag it's in is opened I'd know that I might want to rethink the place. I don't think a "test" would be necessary though; I can't see anyone wanting to go through all the weeds and long grass to get to the place.
I'm thinking that this might also help motivate me to get up and out of bed in the morning, since I don't want it sitting outside too long. If it does happen to be gone, no big deal. I'm also bringing a blanket and could lay on that, but the sleep bag would be more comfortable. (I'm planning to spread it out open like a blanket.)
I don't know, part of me thinks that since I'm so indecisive maybe I do need to go over my plan more, maybe I'm not ready, with preparations I mean. Then again my anxiety makes me overthink everything, and this is a huge thing that I really can't mess up, so I'm not surprised that I'd be overthinking now.
