Think its time

[Kuolema]

This last half a year has been both the greatest and worst time of my life. Reached rock bottom and was ready to kill myself. Met the girl of my dreams on here and thought I'd found my soulmate. Then one night of mdma induced psychosis I fucked it all up. She broke up with me (rightfully so) and I went on a fucking rampage where I said and did some stupid shit. I'm a piece of shit and all I fucking deserve is death. Ever since then I have apologized for what happened and I just hope more than anything that she can move on from this and find something to live for (i'm pretty sure she has). Been experimenting with high doses of psychedelics a lot lately. Had some amazing experiences but no amount of drugs is going to change the fact that my personality is broken. It's time. Going to hang myself within a week. For all those I hurt from the bottom of my heart I'm sincerely sorry.
Not looking for sympathy or support either. Anyone who knows me on here will be glad I'm gone. Just felt like I had to say something. Don't know why.

 

[Jean4]

This last half a year has been both the greatest and worst time of my life. Reached rock bottom and was ready to kill myself. Met the girl of my dreams on here and thought I'd found my soulmate. Then one night of mdma induced psychosis I fucked it all up. She broke up with me (rightfully so) and I went on a fucking rampage where I said and did some stupid shit. I'm a piece of shit and all I fucking deserve is death. Ever since then I have apologized for what happened and I just hope more than anything that she can move on from this and find something to live for (i'm pretty sure she has). Been experimenting with high doses of psychedelics a lot lately. Had some amazing experiences but no amount of drugs is going to change the fact that my personality is broken. It's time. Going to hang myself within a week. For all those I hurt from the bottom of my heart I'm sincerely sorry.
Not looking for sympathy or support either. Anyone who knows me on here will be glad I'm gone. Just felt like I had to say something. Don't know why.

I'm so sorry. If it's of any consolation, you have insight into what you did wrong.

We all make mistakes. You met her here, so she knows you are damaged. We all are, which is why we are here.

I don't know if you even want to try. Is she worth apologizing, trying to clean up your act and try again?

I know in my past relationship, I did some beyond stupid things. I think honestly, because I am so damaged I subconsciously did things that would push anybody away. Push them away before he ends it and I get hurt. Self sabotage.

But my partner knew how fucked up I am and loved me enough to work through it. Just as I stayed with him when he did stupid things.

Just a thought. No matter what, I am sorry you are hurting and will be here for you.

 

[Dripping]

We all make mistakes.

Personally i agree. If you take a step back you can agree that the fear of having damage is very powerfull, make us overreact or flee from someone. You were not you, the LSD has overspoken. don't blame yourself, you don't deserve this. you were triyng to medicate your scattered soul and shit happens. as a kind people like all we, on this forum, she will understand and forgive your mistake. Please consider talking to her open-hearted before tying the knot.

 

[jgm63]

@methylene blue Your comment is pretty inappropriate really....

 

[methylene blue]

@methylene blue Your comment is pretty inappropriate really....

I respectfully disagree. Maybe the OP had the same emotions running through him which he failed to mention for whatever reason. It's a reaction - maybe it's not how everybody would react but it's an example of what I hope to be a relatable attitude nonetheless. Yeah, it's brash, big deal.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

I respectfully disagree. Maybe the OP had the same emotions running through him which he failed to mention for whatever reason. It's a reaction - maybe it's not how everybody would react but it's an example of what I hope to be a relatable attitude nonetheless. Yeah, it's brash, big deal.

Your comment literally says "Regardless of someone's actions, they shouldn't break up with someone". When the whole process of breaking up is the way you feel, and not the way your SO feels. Why would it even matter if he broke up with her? Are women in your eyes not able to breakup with someone independently of thought?

Your comment sucks. It's very toxic and only adds fuel to the fire about why women say men suck. While I personally do not know you, I would be wary of anyone dating someone with a similar mindset.