They won't care until you're dead

[exitplease]

The reality of this notion has really hit home. I feel it deep in my heart.

I've been transparent with a few people recently, both for their sake and for the sake of my loved ones (asking that they look after them in their grief, etc).

One literally laughed in my face, dismissing and patronising me. I used to be very close to this person. She didn't arrange to meet up and I haven't heard from her since.

One I haven't heard back from - I literally asked if we could hang out one last time as my health is unstable and I'm not sure how much longer I have left. I asked her if she'd be able to support a few loved ones in their grief. Nothing.

I am met with hysteria and aggression each time I bring it up with a particular and very important person. Constant guilt trips.

That being said, one person just kind of gets it and has been so supportive. I am so unbelievably grateful to her.

Do people realise what a blessing it is to be surrounded by loved ones in their final moments? To be given the chance to say their goodbyes, their last words and make their final wishes?

I hate how we have to die alone. Surrounded by no one. Not given the chance to say how we really feel, unless it's after our death in a note or beforehand but risking our freedom and whatever crumbs of sanity we have left.

They won't care until you're dead.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I want to be alone in my death, tbh.

 

[FuneralCry]

A lot of people probably won't even care then.

 

[27clubHereWeGo]

I feel this a lot. The same people who you haven't talked to or seen for years while you're alive will then be sad and say "it's such a tragedy" if they don't see you because you're dead.

 

[exitplease]

I want to be alone in my death, tbh.

Funnily enough I feel you on that one. I fluctuate between isolating completely and wanting to be around people one last time. I don't want anyone to witness me actually dying - I want to be alone for that part of the transition. It's before that final stage that I want to be able to reach people. People feel unreachable and really far away. I've never felt this detached from everyone.

 

[numbed one]

Exactly , they wont Care till we're dead ...:/

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Same here. Just last week I announced to my siblings that having to be the only one of us that is taking care of my parents is making me suicidal. They acted like they cared for about a day, and now I haven't heard from them since.

To make matters even worse, my parents talk to me like I am a loser even though I am the only one sacrificing my life to take care of them.

Knowing that they will feel like shit and took me for granted while I was alive will make CTB that much more satisfying for me. I will get the eternal sleep that I covet so badly and they will get taught the huge value lesson that they deserve.

 

[exitplease]

A lot of people probably won't even care then.

Bahaha! It's so true.

I feel this a lot. The same people who you haven't talked to or seen for years while you're alive will then be sad and say "it's such a tragedy" if they don't see you because you're dead.

And some of those people will use it as a drawcard for sympathy and attention

 

[tidal1]

I think people feel uncomfortable and don't know how to approach it when you're sick, whether it be mentally or physically.

At the height of my chronic illness, I made several attempts to reach out to those who I thought were close friends because I was so unbearably lonely, but I was met with either hostility or no response instead. I think people don't want to deal with the icky feelings-- the hurt, the grief, the messiness of it all, what it means for them as people. It's difficult to look inward and it's easier to just distance from the pain or icky feelings. It's common; I expect people to ghost if I open up to them now.