"they/them"

[Archness]

I myself would go by "they/them", tho IRL going by my sex is acceptable while the opposite isn't.

Online I try my best to avoid gendering myself even tho It's partially futile due to my IRL experiences. Under "Archness", I keep my my sex private due to worrying about people putting too much importance in that stuff. Using it to invalidate me or somehow make it a genderwars thing. Honestly, I'm just too shy due to worrying abt other's view of me radically changing due to this. I mean, it is important, but... daunting.

Not that I'm disgusted /w my body/sex or anything, I am what I am. It's just that when it comes to that "gender feeling" it's messy for me, not rly consistent. Masculine, feminine, neutral, sometimes an odd combination. If I could pick my body's sex, I'm a little tempted to say "intersex", but I'm atleast as likely to just stick with what I'm used to.

I'm a bit nervous abt saying this to others. I'll probably never bring this up IRL because I'll never have to, esp since I'm not against people refering to my natural sex. The back of my head is saying this is a bad idea, but logically I don't see any terrible consequences. I'm wanting to know what others think on this topic.

 

[R♡ADKILL]

im the exact same way!! personally i identify as genderfluid, as my feelings on what i am change from time to time. its sorta difficult for other people to understand, especially if theyre older or not familiar with lgbt stuff, so i rarely introduce myself with it or anything, and just let people draw their own conclusions. im lucky to be androgynous enough to get called both male and female naturally. if i could id have it so that no one knew my actual sex, or that i could just be somewhere inbetween the two genders physically.

youre definitely not alone when it comes to weird gender feelings. if youre in a safe place to do so, maybe you could get some friends to try using they/them pronouns for you? even if you arent uncomfortable with your assigned gender, it can always be nice to experiment a little and find things you might like more (which was exactly the case for me!)

i hope everything turns out well for you, whether you choose to experiment or not ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝ ♡

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I personally feel like gender norms are ridiculous. I can understand placing an emphasis on psychically attractive features, girl's shaving and guys taking care of their bodies/etc, but how is a woman masculine for having backbone? Shouldn't that be considered bravery? And why is it considered feminine for a man to have any level of emotional intelligence? I feel like the "standard" definitions of masculine and feminine are contorted in such a shallow way, and maybe that's shy I understand some of the reasons someone might go by they/them. But I personally go by He/Him. It feels pretty pointless to me to try to explain that I feel Non binary without people asking fifty or more uncomfortable questions.

 

[Archness]

im the exact same way!! personally i identify as genderfluid, as my feelings on what i am change from time to time. its sorta difficult for other people to understand, especially if theyre older or not familiar with lgbt stuff, so i rarely introduce myself with it or anything, and just let people draw their own conclusions. im lucky to be androgynous enough to get called both male and female naturally. if i could id have it so that no one knew my actual sex, or that i could just be somewhere inbetween the two genders physically.

youre definitely not alone when it comes to weird gender feelings. if youre in a safe place to do so, maybe you could get some friends to try using they/them pronouns for you? even if you arent uncomfortable with your assigned gender, it can always be nice to experiment a little and find things you might like more (which was exactly the case for me!)

i hope everything turns out well for you, whether you choose to experiment or not ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝ ♡

Yeah. I'm not gender fluid at all. I don't know much, but it's not as if my gender is changing, but like two sides of one coin. tbh, my assigned gender feels more like a reference to my sex then anything, so I feel comfortable if someone where to use that pronoun, but using the other would probably supposed to be an insult. If I got "genderswaped" I'd expect people to use the pronoun for that instead of the old one, and while realistically I'd take some getting used to, I'd accept it in that time as my new sex.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Celerity]

When I was a girl and especially when I lost my male friends during puberty, I longed to be a boy. Now, I simply demand that the world learn to accommodate to my definition of what a woman can be. Why should I surrender a very real part of my biological reality to a limiting, demeaning abstraction dreamed up by men who would prefer to control us?

Do whatever makes you comfortable, OP. I just can't relate to it myself.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Gender stuff is complicated. It's okay to take things slowly when you're figuring it out. The piece of advice I always give is to experiment, focus on what makes you feel comfortable. And there's nothing wrong with being comfortable with more than one thing—that just gives you options.

 

[real person]

i have a very similar experience to you. i wish i could just be open about it.