Venting There’s so much beauty in voluntarily choosing to leave this awful world

[FuneralCry]

Everyday I always envy those who ctb so much. I view it as being such a beautiful and admirable thing to choose to prevent unnecessary suffering and manage to overcome all of the struggles involved in voluntarily dying in order to successfully leave. I also see so much beauty in having options of reliable and peaceful methods avaliable, those with N especially are the most fortunate and luckiest people that exist but sadly I believe that only those who are very lucky die the most peaceful suicide and that is a tragedy. If only it was possible to just pass away peacefully but sadly it's not the reality for so many.

I see no value in deciding to delay the inevitable, such a thing could never be beneficial, rather it could only be a disadvantage and I hate the fact that I've managed to endure something so awful as existing for this long. I believe that the less years spent here, the better. It's the most desirable thing to leave as soon as possible, as I see beauty in limiting potential pain and torture and as long as we exist there is simply no limit as to how much we can suffer and that fact is undeniable. There is nothing more wonderful to me than returning to the state of non existence which is what I would see as being true peace and is of course what I believe lies awaiting for us after this. Death is freedom from the torment that existence brings and non existence is true perfection to me. Only peace could lie in the absence of everything and such a thing could never exist in this world filled with pain, anguish and endless despair.

To die will always be the most beautiful thing as life itself is the true problem, to exist means to suffer endlessly and it's a punishment having to exist, life is something so disturbing and horrific and it's something I've always wished to avoid. Life is just a way to provide torture to existing beings in an endless cycle that continues to repeat and it's such a cruel mistake how life is even able to exist in the first place. Therefore to die means to be free and this could never be a tragic thing as those who die are so incredibly fortunate, it's nonsense to call something a 'tragedy' when in fact death removes all sadness and solves all problems, those who are gone will always be lucky. There is so much beauty in the thought of being at rest, having the inability to suffer, being long forgotten about and for the torturous burden that is existence to no longer be our concern. I've always wished to die and found the thought of death to be so incredibly comforting, if only we didn't have to suffer so much in finding ways to finally leave.

 

[Heartbroken2022]

It is indeed beautiful to die, to stop existing. The problem is that you wish this to happen because you have some problems. I have always been thinking that dieing will not extinguish these problems; contrarily, your memory will still exist within the people that know you and together with this memory, remnants of the problems will exist. The only difference is that other people will suffer instead of you and they need to overcome this suffering.

That is exactly what has been troubling me for quite some time and I cannot decide what to do.

I wish instead that there would be a way to stop existing at all. Like you had never existed in the first place. That is very beautiful. A magical button that you press and your wish of disappearance comes true.
This would solve all problems that we have.

 

[Forever Sleep]

If I'm absolutely honest, I do also share some admiration towards people who have the guts to end their lives. Still- for me- it does tend to depend on the circumstances. I still have the utmost sympathy for say a mother of two children that decides to do it but I can't say I have the same admiration for them compared to someone who has fewer dependants and impacts fewer lives around them.

I do know there are people here who will bristle at the idea of admiring someone for taking their own life. That it isn't something that should be celebrated- more of a last resort, desperate act type thing. I do understand that viewpoint. Still- this is my own personal perspective. I'm not saying suicide should be universally celebrated. My thoughts (selfishly) apply to my life and my experiences. For me, I admire Gene Sprague- who waited for his Mum to die before taking his own life. (I'm hoping to wait for my Dad.) And, the rebel in me admires Richard Russell (who CTB partly in response to feeling trapped at a low pay grade job and exploited by his employers- although- mental illness was blamed- typically.)

Still, I think it is also incredibly brave to hold onto this life as long as you can for love of the people around you. I suspect you hate that idea. I'm not saying you SHOULD do that. I'm just saying I admire the people who can and do. I'm hoping I can continue to. (I'm more lucky than others though- my life is perhaps more tolerable than others- at the moment. I'm not judging badly those who know they can't take it anymore.)

Suicide may not be a 'wrong' act but it is a selfish one to an extent. Your death as well as a lot of our deaths here WILL likely have a negative impact on someone's life. To them- it won't be this universally blissful event (most likely.) You can say their thinking is wrong and yours is right if you like but it likely won't change what they experience.

Death is quite often only such a wonderful thing when life is bad. Your life and our lives may primarily be (or, feel) bad but I doubt death seems that beautiful to everyone. I expect you'll say it SHOULD be that way to everyone here at least but even then- I suspect there will be exceptions... Some people are here because they are desperately grieving their spouses death. That person's death likely wasn't welcomed. They only now wish their own death because of that. Some people here DO actually still want to live (pro-life if you will). They just can't tolerate their life as it is- chronic, incurable pain, crippling debt or bad life situation.

I do appreciate you will likely say you are just ranting and that it's the obvious truth and it should be the normal state of affairs on a suicide forum. Still- I would say- people may have different experiences here. They may wish their own death but they may not necessarily see death itself as being beautiful. Still- each to their own as they say.

On the upside- we'll all get our wish at some point or another I suppose. Thank goodness we're not immortal at least. (Depending on what you believe of course.)

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Having in mind all the awful ways one could die, expecially in a nursing home when all your beauty is gone, I agree. A self-determined death is the logical end of a self-dermined life. Death is beautiful when life becomes ugly.