This is just how the world feels to me as an autistic person- everyone else is acting in an elaborate play and knows the script to a tee, while a person like me will never see the stage.
Entertaining and drawing in a crowd is like second nature to the neurotypical majority, and yet, I am forced into the audience. No matter how many times I try to practice the script, or rehearse the movements and expressions of the actors on stage to try and emulate them, I will never be good enough to participate and to entertain.
Their spontaneity, gracefulness, and charisma, is not something I can copy or absorb. Thus, I can only watch from the sidelines, permanently unfulfilled because it is not physically possible for me to ever fill those roles.