There's no point

[leavingsoon99]

If I can't have the life I wanted, then there's no point in going on. I'm so tired of people who have been blessed in this life telling me that "it gets better." Maybe for them. My life just seems scripted to be one of failure, disappointment, tragedy, and loneliness. I'm way past looking for a reason to hope. Hope is just a coping mechanism to endure life. I'm done with that. I'm not in a dark place, I'm in a clear place. Nothing is going to change this course. I'm so happy I have access to a gun. Even if I end up in a vegetable state, they'll pull the plug on me because I have no next of kin, no money, and no insurance. They're not going to waste resources to keep me alive. And I won't be conscious enough to know I'm in a vegetative state. So, either way, I win. I'm just done with this life. I don't care what's on the other side of this. Just as long as it's not the same as what I just endured.

All I wanted was a satisfying career, a woman who loves me that I can spoil and be a great husband to, maybe children, a home, and friends who love me. I just wanted to belong somewhere. I just wanted to be wanted. I just wanted to be loved. Too bad the world and its twisted values mess it up, along with just mean people.

If there's a god, fuck them.

 

[voyager]

Well said. It's how I saw my life too after the good times, devoid of everything and scripted for failure. Sometimes it does get better in a way, the universe gets bored of messing with us and after enough punishment we become disillusioned and don't hurt so much anymore, but yeah, that's not a dark place but a realistic estimate of the situation.

 

[letmejoindeath]

If I can't have the life I wanted, then there's no point in going on. I'm so tired of people who have been blessed in this life telling me that "it gets better." Maybe for them. My life just seems scripted to be one of failure, disappointment, tragedy, and loneliness. I'm way past looking for a reason to hope. Hope is just a coping mechanism to endure life. I'm done with that. I'm not in a dark place, I'm in a clear place. Nothing is going to change this course. I'm so happy I have access to a gun. Even if I end up in a vegetable state, they'll pull the plug on me because I have no next of kin, no money, and no insurance. They're not going to waste resources to keep me alive. And I won't be conscious enough to know I'm in a vegetative state. So, either way, I win. I'm just done with this life. I don't care what's on the other side of this. Just as long as it's not the same as what I just endured.

All I wanted was a satisfying career, a woman who loves me that I can spoil and be a great husband to, maybe children, a home, and friends who love me. I just wanted to belong somewhere. I just wanted to be wanted. I just wanted to be loved. Too bad the world and its twisted values mess it up, along with just mean people.

If there's a god, fuck them.

Yea, I just wanted to work hard and have pay that reflects it. Hard work doesn't pay though. Only nepotism pays off. If you don't have someone who can get you a good job might as well ctb otherwise you're basically subsidizing the middle class by working.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Well said. It's how I saw my life too after the good times, devoid of everything and scripted for failure. Sometimes it does get better in a way, the universe gets bored of messing with us and after enough punishment we become disillusioned and don't hurt so much anymore, but yeah, that's not a dark place but a realistic estimate of the situation.

I honestly believe that it's the subsidizing of the middle class is why so-called "suicide prevention" is even a thing. The human is a very cruel demon.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

It's always the lucky ones in life who say " it gets better ".
I doubt any of these people have ever struggled the way you have, or endured one tenth of the suffering you experienced in childhood.
It seems that this cruel game of life is fixed for some of us: It doesn't matter how much of a good person you are, life in general just wants to kick us in the teeth.
I'm way too gone to care anymore too.
And yes, fuck God too.

 

[ringo99]

I'm sick of hearing how someone who knew someone else got a big promotion at work.

I'm sick of hearing that someone managed to finish a course that puts them on amazing career path.

I'm sick of hearing that someone got married to a person from the "right background".

I'm sick of hearing someone bought a new house or car while I'm struggling to make ends meet.

I'm sick of hearing that someone managed to find a job abroad in America or Europe and escaped the hopeless grind of living in a third world shithole.

I'm sick of hearing that someone had a baby (Fan-fucking-tastic. You did what humans have been doing since humans existed).

Most of all I am fucking sick of being alive and in a vapid, judgemental, disgusting society that values garbage like this. Not a day goes by when I wish that I could just suffer a fatal heart attack or stroke in my sleep and die without a care in the world.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so relieved to have a gun. This world truly is such a hellish and dreadful place, humans really are the worst species with the suffering they create.