Venting There's no one who can relate to me, not even here

[ultrasharpy123456]

Most people here are suicidal because of their circumstances. For me that's part of it. The thing is that I'm also suicidal because of WHO I am. What I mean is I have behavioral problems. I end up ruining relationships because of this innate problem of mine that I can't stop. It's been with me ever since I was born, and because of this issue I can't stand being around people because I ruin our friendships. This paranoia is what caused me to have all this issues in my life.

 

[Huntfish34]

That's not true, I can relate. It's not much, but you aren't alone. Self hatred, relationships and resentments are some of my Main reasons to kill myself .

I wish you Nothing but the best, thoughts and prayers to you . -

 

[Hollowman]

I can unfortunately relate.

 

[lifeispain0216]

I have BPD so I can absolutely relate!

 

[pole]

to an extent, I do think some of us here can relate to you.

does that mean we understand and know how your feeling and what your going through? hell no.

I think that's where the line often gets blurred. yes, I may relate to you because I could have gone through a similar situation, but I don't necessarily understand how you feel.

I hate myself with a passion. I cannot put it into words. I will end my life because of the degree to which I despise ME. we relate in a sense. however, I'm not going to act like I know at all how deep your self-hatred runs. I don't know what made you feel that intensely about yourself because… I am not you. I will never understand. I can empathize and be there because I'm in a similar boat, but I cannot tell you how to feel or take control as if I know what you're dealing with. that's where this often becomes invalidating.

the way you react to it, how hard it hits you, the intensity, all of it is alien to me because I am not you. what you feel is unique to you even if we've gone down the same path. we are two different people.

I can understand where your coming from with this. it bothers me at times when someone says they relate to what I'm dealing with but simultaneously group it with this idea of also understanding exactly how I feel about it. it's often used to reduce what your going through and can come off as invalidating even though it is well intentioned.

sometimes when people try and relate to others, they feel like they have the right to tell the other person what they should do, how they should feel or react simply because they carried themselves a certain way in a similar predicament. it seems you've been invalidated to this extent and your feelings are justified.

even if many of us have gone down the same path, been in the same situation, we don't know how the next person truly feels. at the end of the day, we are still alone in our mess.

 

[Death is my goal]

why you assumed you're the only one who's struggling with this?

 

[iloverilakkuma]

I've heard this same mindset and ideas from many people here, you're genuinely not alone with this. I found myself often feeling misunderstood bc my reason hasn't so much been bc of something happening or bc of myself, the thoughts are just THERE. Yeah shit happens that makes the thoughts worse and things can get difficult but even at the happiest points in my life, suicide has always been a present thought. But even then, I'm sure that I am not alone in feeling this way.