There is nothing to look forward to

[Trashcan]

I am currently a college student and will continue working towards a better future just in case, but man, I just have nothing to look forward to. I have always hated school. The only reason I'm going to college is so I can get out of minimum wage jobs (they suck). I mean I guess the only thing I'm looking forward to is not having a minimum wage job and death. But yeah there just is nothing else to look forward to. I don't imagine working full time is going to be any better than school. Then I'll have to worry about bills, bills, bills, bills, and more bills. Taxes. Car insurance. Health insurance. Etc. Life is expensive. I'm glad I managed to find a program that doesn't take 4 years that can still earn me a living, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how I'm going to afford everything. Also I have no interest in getting married or having kids. I'll want to have pets, though. But I know I'll be lonely and pestered about when I'm going to get married or have kids and no one will be satisfied with the fact that some people just don't want that. I have no friends so it's going to be very lonely. I'll have no one to rely on if I ever need help. I mean I'm lucky to have very supportive parents, but I definitely want to live in a different state. Hopefully I can get a gun (I'll have to maybe talk to a lawyer to make sure) and I won't wimp out of it. I've stopped wearing my seat belt while driving so in the event of a car accident, I am less likely to survive. Man it would be cool if I had some genetic heart disorder that I wasn't aware of and randomly went into cardiac arrest while I was on a run some day. I also have some guilt about this because I know many people are worse off and my family honestly didn't do anything wrong. (They never tried to guilt me about my depression, they've always been supportive of me and had my back). I wish I could be a normal person and just experience more joy. I think life has the potential to be beautiful for some people, but I'm just not one of them.

 

[Ben]

Amen, all the good stuff is far behind

 

[Ccre]

A lot of people are pretending, they just do what they need to, to survive. Then they release their resentments and frustrations on other people.

 

[Insert a name]

I have a few things that I look forward to but I've discovered that these things don't really make me happy, they just keep me occupied. They're just small activities that make me focus on things that don't matter. But once those activities are over, my life is the same. They haven't made me happy. They just made me distracted for a while. I can't achieve actual happiness. Every year of my life has been progressively less happy since as far back as I can remember.

 

[Ccre]

I hear that, was there ever a time that you did feel happy?

 

[Deutschv2]

Same. There is no future source of happiness I have to look forward to.

 

[Jai]

I am currently a college student and will continue working towards a better future just in case, but man, I just have nothing to look forward to. I have always hated school. The only reason I'm going to college is so I can get out of minimum wage jobs (they suck). I mean I guess the only thing I'm looking forward to is not having a minimum wage job and death. But yeah there just is nothing else to look forward to. I don't imagine working full time is going to be any better than school. Then I'll have to worry about bills, bills, bills, bills, and more bills. Taxes. Car insurance. Health insurance. Etc. Life is expensive. I'm glad I managed to find a program that doesn't take 4 years that can still earn me a living, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how I'm going to afford everything. Also I have no interest in getting married or having kids. I'll want to have pets, though. But I know I'll be lonely and pestered about when I'm going to get married or have kids and no one will be satisfied with the fact that some people just don't want that. I have no friends so it's going to be very lonely. I'll have no one to rely on if I ever need help. I mean I'm lucky to have very supportive parents, but I definitely want to live in a different state. Hopefully I can get a gun (I'll have to maybe talk to a lawyer to make sure) and I won't wimp out of it. I've stopped wearing my seat belt while driving so in the event of a car accident, I am less likely to survive. Man it would be cool if I had some genetic heart disorder that I wasn't aware of and randomly went into cardiac arrest while I was on a run some day. I also have some guilt about this because I know many people are worse off and my family honestly didn't do anything wrong. (They never tried to guilt me about my depression, they've always been supportive of me and had my back). I wish I could be a normal person and just experience more joy. I think life has the potential to be beautiful for some people, but I'm just not one of them.

It's pathetic your working for nothing I struggled to get where I was took me 13 years and then I can claim I was middle class and I was satisfied but then my wife decided to fuck someone else's but I lost most of it in the divorce it's a joke I'd never hurt anyone or said a bad thing that was two years ago and now I'm almost homeless it's complete bullshit

 

[Jai]

It's pathetic your working for nothing I struggled to get where I was took me 13 years and then I can claim I was middle class and I was satisfied but then my wife decided to fuck someone else's but I lost most of it in the divorce it's a joke I'd never hurt anyone or said a bad thing that was two years ago and now I'm almost homeless it's complete bullshit

I worked since I was 15 I'm in my forty's now I was climbing a ladder bit by bit and I hated most of my youth trying to get somewhere but I did and pulled myself out of poverty but that accomplishment can be pulled out right in front of you by a stranger it's nonsense and I'm so angry still to this day

 

[RM5998]

I am currently a college student and will continue working towards a better future just in case, but man, I just have nothing to look forward to. I have always hated school. The only reason I'm going to college is so I can get out of minimum wage jobs (they suck). I mean I guess the only thing I'm looking forward to is not having a minimum wage job and death. But yeah there just is nothing else to look forward to. I don't imagine working full time is going to be any better than school. Then I'll have to worry about bills, bills, bills, bills, and more bills. Taxes. Car insurance. Health insurance. Etc. Life is expensive. I'm glad I managed to find a program that doesn't take 4 years that can still earn me a living, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how I'm going to afford everything. Also I have no interest in getting married or having kids. I'll want to have pets, though. But I know I'll be lonely and pestered about when I'm going to get married or have kids and no one will be satisfied with the fact that some people just don't want that. I have no friends so it's going to be very lonely. I'll have no one to rely on if I ever need help. I mean I'm lucky to have very supportive parents, but I definitely want to live in a different state. Hopefully I can get a gun (I'll have to maybe talk to a lawyer to make sure) and I won't wimp out of it. I've stopped wearing my seat belt while driving so in the event of a car accident, I am less likely to survive. Man it would be cool if I had some genetic heart disorder that I wasn't aware of and randomly went into cardiac arrest while I was on a run some day. I also have some guilt about this because I know many people are worse off and my family honestly didn't do anything wrong. (They never tried to guilt me about my depression, they've always been supportive of me and had my back). I wish I could be a normal person and just experience more joy. I think life has the potential to be beautiful for some people, but I'm just not one of them.

Just out of curiosity, what kind of degree are you pursuing? I mean, what field, and what type (diploma, B.Sc., technical, etc.)?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

why dont you want friends or a family

and for do you want to spend your money

 

[BjartNO]

There is nothing to look forward to

Actually, nothingness is the one thing I do look forward to

 

[okyeah]

I badly wish I could find something to look forward to but it's not there.

 

[Trashcan]

I hear that, was there ever a time that you did feel happy?

I occasionally have happiness but there is still some depression going on when there is happiness if you know what I mean. The last time I felt pure joy was probably 2010?

 

[Trashcan]

Just out of curiosity, what kind of degree are you pursuing? I mean, what field, and what type (diploma, B.Sc., technical, etc.)?

Health science and it's only an associates degree but it will give me a living.

 

[Trashcan]

why dont you want friends or a family

and for do you want to spend your money

I do want friends but it seems like the people who want to be friends with me I don't like, and the people I want to be friends don't like me. I have like two friends but that's it. As for family I do love my family but I just need to get out of this state, I really do not like it. (Not saying which state I live in). Also I just don't have any interest in getting married or having kids. Or being in a romantic relationship for that matter.

And I want to get some necessities (roof over my head, car, food, etc) but it would also be nice to be able to go on a vacation or something and just enjoy some things but yeah people in the US barely get any time off.

 

[BjartNO]

I do want friends but it seems like the people who want to be friends with me I don't like, and the people I want to be friends don't like me.

That's certainly something we have in common.

 

[Trashcan]

This story just pissed Me Off.

Why?

 

[RM5998]

Health science and it's only an associates degree but it will give me a living.

Well, I'm pursuing a technical degree (to be specific, in Computer Science), have no interest in pets, and haven't even tried to get a diagnosis for mental illnesses (because I live in a country where people can't afford that). Otherwise, this is uncannily similar to me.

Where did you hide the cameras? Also, who in my (tiny) circle is the spy?

 

[Ccre]

I occasionally have happiness but there is still some depression going on when there is happiness if you know what I mean. The last time I felt pure joy was probably 2010?

Yeah I understand, just under the surface