Venting There is no joy in anything

[klm]

I figured id say this here since no one in real life cares,
Life is despair, no matter what occurs no joy is provided, feeling drained like this for years is too much for anyone, there is nothing to look forward too, it's a constant aching in the heart, it's torture, I have nothing and I feel like nothing, I have extreme social anxiety to where I can't go out in public without being off tons of benzos and I can't do that forever, I have health problems that just make me sad daily, I have bad Existential Depression to where I see no point in doing anything because I don't see the overall purpose it will have on the universe, I'm not attractive, I'm not in shape, I have many addictions, I hurt peoples feelings without even trying to because idk how to show emotion or affection, im still a virgin and im well old enough to have had sex already, something is wrong, it feels like there is something more to this plane of existence but everyone is distracted by things that were made up by humans, it's hard to do anything when all you fantasize about is death, I am non religious amd very spiritual and nothing is what is seems, I can feel it in my soul, anyways I plan on going soon, enough is enough, I just wish I didn't have to hurt anyone by leaving, I don't want anyone to cry, but the pain I'm in makes me cry nonstop on the inside, so I don't see it as selfish, I see it as I played the hand I was dealt, and it is what it is

Sorry for the rant, but I hoped it would clear my head
Luv you all <3

 

[Passersby]

Same here. I know what you mean. Being alive and being forced to be here is truly awful. The real problem is life itself. I hope you can somehow find peace from your suffering and this miserable existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree that life is despair. That's all that life could ever be. I personally see no benefit and value in existing, instead there are only ways in which to cause us to suffer more and make us feel even worse. The existence of life really is a horrifying thing and I have never wanted anything to do with this world. I don't believe that there is anything after this life, I wish for peaceful nothingness where I don't have to experience this life anymore and there is nothing for all eternity. To die will always be ideal to me as to die removes all problems and prevents a future filled with pointless suffering. Life as a concept certainly is useless.
I wish you freedom.

 

[evolutionerror]

I can sympathize with almost everything you said, and I agree. The nihilism really eats away at your daily life... if nothing matters, then nothing matters. And if nothing matters, the sadness or pain felt from your CTB also does not matter.

In the end, I feel as though most people's pain from someone else's leaving this world is just selfish anyway. They will not care as much about your CTB as much as they will care about how your CTB affects them. Apparently there is some magical fairytale land we all meet up in after this life anyway, right? /s

It's all just a dream...

 

[TheYounger]

Feel the same way. Constantly joyless and empty in this life. Wanting to end things but just not being able to at this point.

 

[klm]

I can sympathize with almost everything you said, and I agree. The nihilism really eats away at your daily life... if nothing matters, then nothing matters. And if nothing matters, the sadness or pain felt from your CTB also does not matter.

In the end, I feel as though most people's pain from someone else's leaving this world is just selfish anyway. They will not care as much about your CTB as much as they will care about how your CTB affects them. Apparently there is some magical fairytale land we all meet up in after this life anyway, right? /s

It's all just a dream...

Yes, perfectly said my friend

I agree that life is despair. That's all that life could ever be. I personally see no benefit and value in existing, instead there are only ways in which to cause us to suffer more and make us feel even worse. The existence of life really is a horrifying thing and I have never wanted anything to do with this world. I don't believe that there is anything after this life, I wish for peaceful nothingness where I don't have to experience this life anymore and there is nothing for all eternity. To die will always be ideal to me as to die removes all problems and prevents a future filled with pointless suffering. Life as a concept certainly is useless.
I wish you freedom.

I agree certainly, and thank you <3