I see many members here with traumatic experiences, victims of horrific experiences, mentally/physically ill including myself which is why I don't prefer to exist anymore. But I always see you writing the same thing in every post about how you find existence itself being a problem, us being aware and living with unlimited potential of suffering and pain. But I find it hard to believe (not trying to be disrespectful here) that you don't want to exist just because you are aware of how existence itself is a hell and that being unconscious, and free from any life is the only peace. If one's life doesn't make them suffer, where do these thoughts come from? Is there anything in your life that makes you suffer or is it just your mindset making it a nightmare for you? I'm just curious because you're the first person that never mentioned anything about their personal life and only talks about the existence as a definition being the issue. Again, feel free not to answer. I respect everyone's opinions.
in my opinion, it's often ''privileged/ happy/ stable/ well educated'' people who end up choosing ctb.
life is suffering and suffering is life affirming as a result. the more you suffer and the more you seek to find this hapiness you've been deprived of for you entire life (because of cancer, mental illness or abuse)
you will often see that those living through absolute hell are the ones who seem to be the most attached to life and seek to reach peace wealth and hapiness relentlessly.
those same people will tell suicidal people ''i have been through this and that i've been abused abused at home and bullied at school...and yet i am still choosing to get better and live yet you, you have 0 good enough excuses to end your life, this is such a selfish decision for your loved ones!!!!''
basically saying that some people are traumatized/legit enough to do that.
the same way that it is a tragedy when a minor ctb, the media will talk about it, police or loved ones will look for potential reasons, maybe bully abuse mental illness or SS being responsable lmao, but nobody cares if it's a dude in his 40s.
There really isn't, I see existence itself as being the most horrific mistake, there is nothing beneficial about existing, it's just a way to cause unnecessary suffering to be experienced all for the sake of it, existence is harmful, futile and repulsive, the fact that I'm aware of this is a reason as to why I've always wished to not exist.
And existing will just get worse as one slowly decays from age, suffering even more in the process all while aware of how truly pointless it all is, existing is just waiting around to die and it's so inhumane how anti-suicide people want to prolong other people's torture all for the sake of it.
It's a terrible punishment existing in this hellish reality where there is unlimited potential to suffer, having the ability to suffer could never be anything desirable so it's like a horrible crime how we cannot escape from this existence instantly in peace.
Existence itself is the true problem, it's something evil, only death can bring true relief from for me, only non-existence heals and cures everything as existing is only suffering, there is nothing positive about any of this, everything just leads to suffering and pain.
I believe that one cannot truly benefit from existence, I think it's always better to never exist as existing is just senseless cruelty, existence is the ultimate cause of all suffering so it truly is hell.
i see you everywhere repeating those same idioms. there might be one thing i can do to occupy you while you're still trapped in this life.
have you read Suicide Notes by Mitchell Heisman? this man was a 35 year old postgraduate who shot himself on the steps of Memorial Church of Harvard University in front of a group of tourists.
before dying he wrote a 1905 page long book named Suicide Note. here's some excerpts from it
''If my hypothesis is correct, this work will be repressed. It should not be surprising if justice is not done to the evidence presented here. It should not be unexpected that these arguments will not be given a fair hearing. It is not unreasonable to think that this work will not be judged on its merits.''
''There is a very popular opinion that choosing life is inherently superior to choosing death. This belief that life is inherently preferable to death is one of the most widespread superstitions.
This bias constitutes one of the most obstinate mythologies of the human species.
This prejudice against death, however, is a kind of xenophobia. Discrimination against death is simply assumed good and right.
Absolutist faith in life is commonly a result of the unthinking conviction that existence or survival, along with an irrational fear of death, is "good".
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''Opening one's mind to death emerges from the attempt to unshackle one's mind from the limitations of all borders. It leads to overcoming all biological boundaries, including borders between the "self" and the larger world.
It reaches towards the elimination of biologically based prejudices altogether, including prejudice towards biological self- preservation.''
now here's the link to his full work
https://archive.org/details/MitchellHeismanSuicideNote/mode/2up
