There are some days the soul crushing loneliness just gets to be too much

[CatLove56]

It comes in little breakdowns I guess every few months for the last couple of years I curl up in a ball and cry and just wish I was dead and then the next day I'm usually okay and go on about my life.


I had one therapist tell me that I'm strong for dealing with the single life for so long. Lol by "dealing" I guess excessive drinking, gaming, depression, loss of sleep or to much works. It's not even just about being single it's about having no friends because I've never known how to get them they took too much work and even then who would want to be around me? I sort of always told myself that this is just the way it is and you have to accept it until death. I also keep thinking well maybe if I make enough money a girl won't care how fat or depressed I am but then I thought is that really what I want? Just makes me want to run a knife through my foot so I can actually feel something besides sadness honestly. I don't know what the point of this post was other than saying I hate living. That's all.

 

[WornOutLife]

Loneliness is a weird thing you can love and hate at the same time.
Some people can't stand being alone. They need to be surrounded by other people 24/7. Some others, just embrace and enjoy their loneliness.

In my case, I used to be a very sociable person and go out with my friends lots but now I got fed up with that (my depression and bipolar disorder didn't help) and became a lonely NEET/shut-in. Now, the only people I talk to are my family, students and you; my fellows from SS.

Anyway, I know what hating living feels like. Hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm so sorry you're in this position. Do you talk to anyone about your personal struggles, maybe even a family member?

 

[whywere]

1st off, YOU are TRULY a warm, caring and beautiful person. I reread your post and it really comes out just how nice and caring of a person you are. You help to make Sanctioned Suicide a GREAT place with your kind spirit and how you make me feel as part of a great family here. I am 65 years young and I too get the ol' ups and downs and then I hop on here and feel better knowing that I have a global family that cares about me. With that said I care and love you from the bottom of my heart. Without you here a piece of us is missing and I for one need you and your warm and thoughtful essence of humanity that you bring to all of us here. Walter (yes Walter is my real first name, nothing ever phoney about me ever)

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

 

[Celerity]

Same, dude. I cope with alcoholism. Cheers to our sad, lonely selves.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I know exactly how you feel. It really hurts being lonely for such a long time. I hope things change for you soon.