Venting Therapy makes me wanna CTB

[Mustkeyknow]

I tried to commit suicide last year in December, I slit my wrist but SI was stronger. A stint in the psychiatric ward later and I'm here trying to regain my life back but it just seems like it's impossible/everything has been altered forever.

I go to therapy and my psychologist tells me I can't move out of town because i need to take care of my desease first. I tell him all I wanna do is work, continue with my career etc but in this town the opportunities are extremely limited/pay is shit etc and he reiterates that I can't move because here at least I got my parents whereas anywhere else I'd be alone.

Thing is I don't have anyone here I mean sure my parents help but I'm 33 I don't wanna be 40 and stuck living with them fighting a desease, what if moving out works in my favor? What if being independent with a good job actually helps? My therapist says it's not the job it's my lack of direction in life, but WTF I just told him I wanna move to pursue my career isn't that direction in itself?

Plus it's not like I have a strong support network here I barely have friends, what if I meet more people somewhere else rather than this shithole? I mean I'm just exhausting my options.

I think he realized I hate therapy because I'm getting stuck in life thanks to it so his advice is, if I go, to try to look for help and realize I'm not a loser if I eventually wanna come back.

It doesn't matter where I am even if I live under my parents roof I can go to any cheap motel and SN right there. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do.

I'm stuck and I wanna CTB SO BAD. Jfc.

 

[faust]

I think when you still have power to pursue something, you don't have to look back and listen to anybody. Btw that is your own life and why not give it a try?
Therapist won't feel guilty and won't CTB if you move somewhere else. At least, you will have a chance to build your own life, maybe make new relationships and just broaden your mind. Ship is not designed to stay in port, she is designed for deep and restless waters. The choice will be up to you anyway, but I like your idea to get away and start a new life

 

[S1mpleme]

Honestly I agree with your therapist. I don't think is a good idea to leave your family and friends, especially know, when you need support. Other than that, if you don't like therapy then screw it.

 

[Oyoy]

I tried to commit suicide last year in December, I slit my wrist but SI was stronger. A stint in the psychiatric ward later and I'm here trying to regain my life back but it just seems like it's impossible/everything has been altered forever.

I go to therapy and my psychologist tells me I can't move out of town because i need to take care of my desease first. I tell him all I wanna do is work, continue with my career etc but in this town the opportunities are extremely limited/pay is shit etc and he reiterates that I can't move because here at least I got my parents whereas anywhere else I'd be alone.

Thing is I don't have anyone here I mean sure my parents help but I'm 33 I don't wanna be 40 and stuck living with them fighting a desease, what if moving out works in my favor? What if being independent with a good job actually helps? My therapist says it's not the job it's my lack of direction in life, but WTF I just told him I wanna move to pursue my career isn't that direction in itself?

Plus it's not like I have a strong support network here I barely have friends, what if I meet more people somewhere else rather than this shithole? I mean I'm just exhausting my options.

I think he realized I hate therapy because I'm getting stuck in life thanks to it so his advice is, if I go, to try to look for help and realize I'm not a loser if I eventually wanna come back.

It doesn't matter where I am even if I live under my parents roof I can go to any cheap motel and SN right there. Like what the fuck am I supposed to do.

I'm stuck and I wanna CTB SO BAD. Jfc.

Your therapist has an agenda.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Your therapist has an agenda.

Yeah, he probably wants me dead.

 

[Oyoy]

Yeah, he probably wants me dead.

He wants you to pay off his mortgage.

 

[Return2Dust]

Do your parents make you feel uncomfortable? Is it possible to move somewhere else and get a new therapist? Are you trying to move away so you can easily ctb without parents knowing? Is your therapist getting to the core of your issues and making you uncomfortable? Are you running from something or to something. My guess is you have the answers and you'll figure out what is best for you.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Do your parents make you feel uncomfortable? Is it possible to move somewhere else and get a new therapist? Are you trying to move away so you can easily ctb without parents knowing? Is your therapist getting to the core of your issues and making you uncomfortable? Are you running from something or to something. My guess is you have the answers and you'll figure out what is best for you.

Not necessary uncomfortable but they agree that I'm old enough to move on my own. I guess it's possible to get a new therapist though it won't be cheap, I already consulted with a different therapist who also advised against me moving out.

"Is your therapist getting to the core of your issues and making you uncomfortable?"
Maybe I don't know, he says I got no direction in life and it does make me uncomfortable but what kind of direction am I supposed to have other than wanting to advance my career in a place with more opportunities? Am I supposed to open a bakery here? Nothing against bakers in general but that's not my thing/that's not what I want in the first place.

I'm not running away from anything I am aware I have a problem but I think it can get easily solved with a good job and a good paycheck. No one believes me but I think it's true.