Therapy and medication

[PurposeDeficiency]

Hey there. New here. I've been seeing a psychologist for quite some time now but due to social anxiety I have a hard time opening up. I've been told to bring structure in my life and take care of myself. However, I have lost control and everytime I try, I ask myself "What's the point?". I have to stay alive for now for my Mom but I can't find the strength to recover. I don't even care about good times anymore because I don't enjoy existence in general.

More importantly, I've struggled with alcoholism and suicidal thoughts but I've never mentioned it because I'm scared of being vulnerable. I'm also certain I have bipolar 2 but have been diagnosed with depression. I've mentioned I'd like to try if medication works for me but the topic somehow always gets lost.

I don't feel like this is going anywhere. What are your experiences with therapy? Is it worth it? How could I steer the conversation? Should I mention everything or keep some things to myself? Does medication work for you and how long did it take to find something that works?

 

[Wallace]

Therapy is, IME, very hit or miss. You get some therapists who are truly brilliant, and some who you just don't connect with, and some who are genuinely bad.

I hear you with the fear of vulnerability and the need for control. That's something I've struggled with for a very long time too. If you're having trouble bringing up a subject with your therapist, write it down before your meeting to help remind you. In general, it's best to disclose as much as you feel that you can. The less you hold back, the better the results tend to be. This is very hard to do for some subjects, but your therapist can talk you through these feelings and help you get there. One thing I can say about therapy is that you are in charge. You are the one putting up the money, this is your time for a doctor's undivided attention. Remembering that may be helpful.

Medication is likewise hit or miss. Everyone metabolizes medications a little differently. About half the time it gives you a benefit, and the other half of the time either it doesn't do anything or the side effects are unacceptable. So maybe you have to try a second, or a third, or even more. Again, disclose as much as you can, especially if you suspect you are bipolar. The treatment for bipolar is much different than standard depression.

 

[PurposeDeficiency]

Thanks for your reply. I do believe I've found a decent therapist. A few years ago I wasn't even able to respond to most of her questions though. So I suppose I might just have to give it some time.

 

[depressedpolyaddict]

Took quite a while to find out Ketamine works really well for me. I was on Prozac/Fluoxetine, Lexapro/Escitalopram, Remeron/Mirtazapine, Sodium Tianeptine and Wellbutrin/Bupropion. Prozac left me tweaking like a methhead, Lexapro was OK with acidic reflux issues first and intestinal bleeding in the end and godawful withdrawal, Remeron caused deliritant anticholinergic syndrome, Tianeptine was horrendous (swolen legs, muscle pain, kidney pain, back pain, constipation, insane nausea, respiratory depression and opioid withdrawal syndrome in the end) and Wellbutrin made me very aggressive, bitter, cynical, sarcastic, miserable and psychotic.

It is very hit or miss, just as therapy. People love to gaslight me and tell me I put no effort into the therapy.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

Hey there. New here. I've been seeing a psychologist for quite some time now but due to social anxiety I have a hard time opening up. I've been told to bring structure in my life and take care of myself. However, I have lost control and everytime I try, I ask myself "What's the point?". I have to stay alive for now for my Mom but I can't find the strength to recover. I don't even care about good times anymore because I don't enjoy existence in general.

More importantly, I've struggled with alcoholism and suicidal thoughts but I've never mentioned it because I'm scared of being vulnerable. I'm also certain I have bipolar 2 but have been diagnosed with depression. I've mentioned I'd like to try if medication works for me but the topic somehow always gets lost.

I don't feel like this is going anywhere. What are your experiences with therapy? Is it worth it? How could I steer the conversation? Should I mention everything or keep some things to myself? Does medication work for you and how long did it take to find something that works?

Question.. is it a therapist you have or a psychiatrist who can prescribe you medication? If it's just a therapist, ask them if they know of any psychiatrist you can see that can prescribe you medication. Once you have a psychiatrist they will be able to prescribe you medication based on your specific situation. Medication works for some people, you should definitely try it! Unfortunately, my depression hasn't responded to medication and therapy I have given up on

 

[PurposeDeficiency]

It's a therapist. I haven't seen a psychiatrist yet but hoping to get there soon.

 

[Sensei]

Hey there. New here. I've been seeing a psychologist for quite some time now but due to social anxiety I have a hard time opening up. I've been told to bring structure in my life and take care of myself. However, I have lost control and everytime I try, I ask myself "What's the point?". I have to stay alive for now for my Mom but I can't find the strength to recover. I don't even care about good times anymore because I don't enjoy existence in general.

More importantly, I've struggled with alcoholism and suicidal thoughts but I've never mentioned it because I'm scared of being vulnerable. I'm also certain I have bipolar 2 but have been diagnosed with depression. I've mentioned I'd like to try if medication works for me but the topic somehow always gets lost.

I don't feel like this is going anywhere. What are your experiences with therapy? Is it worth it? How could I steer the conversation? Should I mention everything or keep some things to myself? Does medication work for you and how long did it take to find something that works?

If you really have bipolar disorder II, conventional psychotherapy will have little to no effect on you and antidepressants may actually have harmful effects. I've compiled a guide which you might find helpful: A Guide to Bipolar Disorder.

 

[PurposeDeficiency]

I've actually read the guide before, not so long ago. Thank you for providing the information regardless. In fact, I've already searched the Internet for everything I could find on the topic and just read the guide again. My conclusion: My symptoms are exactly those of bipolar 2.
Now my problem here is:
I've lost control over my life. I can't do basic functions and even tough it's cognitive behavioural therapy I'm in right now, I'm stuck. Now my psychologist said that I can't get medication if I don't take care of myself first. I'm also holding back lots of information. I don't have friends, I barely talk to my parents, so I especially can't talk to a stranger about my feelings. Sessions are always the same. Because of that inability to take care of myself and inability to get the help I need, I keep falling further. I've mentioned medication a few times before but my psychologist is very hesitant when it comes to diagnoses and meds. I scared of bringing the topic up again but what other options do I have?

 

[Sensei]

I've actually read the guide before, not so long ago. Thank you for providing the information regardless. In fact, I've already searched the Internet for everything I could find on the topic and just read the guide again. My conclusion: My symptoms are exactly those of bipolar 2.

From the little you've shared here, that would be my guess too.

Now my problem here is:
I've lost control over my life. I can't do basic functions and even tough it's cognitive behavioural therapy I'm in right now, I'm stuck. Now my psychologist said that I can't get medication if I don't take care of myself first. I'm also holding back lots of information. I don't have friends, I barely talk to my parents, so I especially can't talk to a stranger about my feelings. Sessions are always the same. Because of that inability to take care of myself and inability to get the help I need, I keep falling further. I've mentioned medication a few times before but my psychologist is very hesitant when it comes to diagnoses and meds. I scared of bringing the topic up again but what other options do I have?

You say that you won't get medication if you don't take care of yourself first. Forgive me for being blunt, but I assume they mean your problems with alcohol. (I'm not being judgemental. I was increadibly close to becoming an alcoholic myself when I fell il.) I actually discussed this very recently with another forum member who's in a similar situation as you. It seems that in most healthcare systems, you need to get sober before you can get treatment. It's surreal when you think about it: the disorder causes the addiction, but the disorder isn't treated because of the addiction. I think the reason they demand this is that it's more difficult to give you a correct diagnosis and measure the effects of the medicines if you aren't sober.

I think you have no other option than to bite the bullet and go through rehab. I understand that it will be hell for you, but I think that you have no choice if you want to get your life in order. There are many forum members who struggle with alcoholism, so you can get much help and advice here simply by starting a thread about it. When you come out on the other side, they can start trying out medicines. The medicines aren't miracle cures, but they sure make life much easier to live for most of us, and they allow some of us to live more or less normal lives. Once you have working medication, it will be easier for you to sort the rest out, although I'm not saying that it will be easy. For instance, it will definitely be easier to make new friends if you aren't emotionally unstable and tormented by depressive episodes.

When it comes to your psychologist, I think you should ask for a standardized screening test. Many psychologists use them and trust them, both because they are good tools and because they give them an "alibi". Such tests can of course not determine if you really are bipolar or not, but they can give a rather strong indication.

 

[PurposeDeficiency]

You say that you won't get medication if you don't take care of yourself first. Forgive me for being blunt, but I assume they mean your problems with alcohol.

I understand that going on medication while I'm not yet sober is a problem. However, I didn't even mention alcohol to her either. I want to and know that I probably should talk to someone about it but I'm honestly too scared to open up. It has only become a problem as of recently. I'm still young and never planned on drinking alcohol at all but once I did, it immediately became a problem. I've tried quitting and at the time I only drink about twice a month, though when I do it's always heavily and as an escape. I think mentioning it will make me even less likely to get medication, going to rehab might not be necessary and quitting on my own might be hard but could be possible aswell. It's truely a confusing state of existence.

 

[Sensei]

I understand that going on medication while I'm not yet sober is a problem. However, I didn't even mention alcohol to her either. I want to and know that I probably should talk to someone about it but I'm honestly too scared to open up. It has only become a problem as of recently. I'm still young and never planned on drinking alcohol at all but once I did, it immediately became a problem. I've tried quitting and at the time I only drink about twice a month, though when I do it's always heavily and as an escape. I think mentioning it will make me even less likely to get medication, going to rehab might not be necessary and quitting on my own might be hard but could be possible aswell. It's truely a confusing state of existence.

If you're only drinking twice a month I'd say you're well on your way to recovery. I'm a little bit confused. You haven't mentioned that you're drinking to your psychologist. Then what does she mean when she says that you must learn to take care of yourself first?

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you're too scared to open up. I suggest you take some time to consider this option: What about spilling your guts in a thread here? I know that's scary too, but think about it. No one here knows who you are. No one.

Again, I think you should ask for a screening test. I think most psychologists would agree to that.

 

[PurposeDeficiency]

If you're only drinking twice a month I'd say you're well on your way to recovery. I'm a little bit confused. You haven't mentioned that you're drinking to your psychologist. Then what does she mean when she says that you must learn to take care of yourself first?

Well, I'm not sure what that means either. I guess she was referring to the fact that I've been sleeping about 3 hours a night, don't eat until the evening a few times a week and so on. But in my opinion these are consequences of a disorder itself rather than me not putting effort into my recovery. So I still think if I'd find proper medication that could get me to function better in general.

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you're too scared to open up. I suggest you take some time to consider this option: What about spilling your guts in a thread here? I know that's scary too, but think about it. No one here knows who you are. No one.

Again, I think you should ask for a screening test. I think most psychologists would agree to that.

Thanks for your advice. I'm positively overwhelmed with how gentle and supportive this community is. It's indeed easier to share things on here than in reallife. I'll consider your points and try to do whatever I can.

 

[Sensei]

Well, I'm not sure what that means either. I guess she was referring to the fact that I've been sleeping about 3 hours a night, don't eat until the evening a few times a week and so on. But in my opinion these are consequences of a disorder itself rather than me not putting effort into my recovery. So I still think if I'd find proper medication that could get me to function better in general.

I recognize that all too well. Yes, if you could get proper medication you would function better in general, but you will always have to watch your sleeping habits. We have irregular sleeping habits by default and no medication can change that.

Thanks for your advice. I'm positively overwhelmed with how gentle and supportive this community is. It's indeed easier to share things on here than in reallife. I'll consider your points and try to do whatever I can.

Good luck. Keep us updated. :)

 

[LittleJem]

However good your therapist is, she might not know very much about diagnosis and treatment. Is she your onlydoorway
Only doorway to treatment? Bipolar is treatable, and the treatment might help you sleep better

 

[Genetics]

Thanks for your reply. I do believe I've found a decent therapist. A few years ago I wasn't even able to respond to most of her questions though. So I suppose I might just have to give it some time.

You can also ask her, in her opinion, how she feels you've progressed with her and what she thinks you need to work on.

I said it before on another post:

Therapy will NOT work, no matter how long you go, if you aren't honest and painful open with your therapist.