Therapist said she cant help me

[newlifeimmigration]

Mostly just venting because I am really at the end of my line. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has some insight of something I'm missing I would really like advice. I'm sorry for whining.

Yesterday I had a session with my therapist where she basically spent the entire hour telling me about how she didn't know how to help me because I didn't communicate well enough or something. And that my phq-9 score had increased and it's basically maxed out now which obviously is a sign therapy isn't working even though that's a huge assumption and I never stated that I felt that way. I have trouble with shutting down and not being able to speak during therapy and I thought it would be different this time because I got a therapist that specializes in cptsd & DID but it's literally not everything is just the same. She kept pushing the idea that I should get a new therapist even though I had already told her there was nobody else in this niche taking clients. I would chalk this all up to her just being a shitty therapist but this has happened with literally every therapist I've seen. Like I've had to have this conversation 3 times now. I don't think I'm going to find "the right therapist" if I keep trying. I think I'm just fucked. They always ask the same questions too. Like "what made you come into therapy" "why do you keep coming in to sessions when you don't say anything" etc. It's like they're saying why are you even trying. Why haven't you given up yet. Why aren't you dead yet.

Last year I even tried to admit myself to the hospital and they literally told me it wasn't that bad and made me leave. But of course they still sent me a massive bill and everything. I used to have friends too but one of them did something to me that I literally can't make myself type out and when I tried to talk about it people told me they didn't want to hear about it and silently cut me out of everything. Nobody else knows that I exist and my family doesn't care about me either it's 1000 years of neglect over here. I tried to explain to my therapist that there's nothing left that is going to help me if therapy doesn't work but I don't think anything I said was understood. I almost wanted to blurt out that it she doesn't help me I'm going to buy a gun but I didn't want to get warded and also saying stuff like that goes against my morals. But it's really how I feel

My life is unbearable it literally hurts to think and I'm scared of like half of all normal things. I have to get high all the time to get through it but it makes me stupid and stops me from doing anything fulfilling with my life. I don't really want to die but I feel like I have to do it because all signs are pointing towards suicide as the only solution. I genuinely want help and I practically beg for it but nothing ever happens. I feel so stupid and insane that I keep trying when it never works. Like, this retard hasn't caught on yet to the fact that it's not going to get help. God is pointing and laughing. Idk. Can anyone hear me.lol?

 

[let.me.let.go87]

I actually know how you feel. I have a shit therapist. But I have Medicaid (government insurance) and I can't window shop for a new therapist because of that my parents never cared what happened to me my sisters cut me off when I was 16 I'm 37 now the only ppl who give a literal shit about what happen to me live in Maryland and Virginia and haven't seen me since I was like 15 and in foster care. And maybe my husband but my marriage is complicated. I love my husband but damn if my marriage ain't complicated. My therapist accused me of playing games last time I saw him coz I didn't feel like talking to him or anybody. Just coz I was so depressed. Guess that my depressed makes me manipulative or something in his eyes. I just didn't wanna talk. I was that shut down. I was on the verge of CTB but could not let him figure it out and he didn't. Now I have no respect for him at all.

 

[Jake.123]

Check pm if u wanna talk also u need a new therapist they can go to hell theyre wrong

 

[MidnightCat]

I feel you.

I remember when a therapist told me she couldn't help me. It was around 3/4 years ago, after trying a few therapists and running out of money thanks to my depression not letting me work...

Decided to contact an foundation for depressed people that offered therapist at a reduced cost, so have it a try.

Had a first meeting, didn't go too smoothly but whatever. Next session, she asked me how I felt, so I tried to answer the question as best as I could (took like 3 minutes of me explaining I had a really bad night with suicidal ideation..) and she went like: Oh... Sorry, I just... Had these "exercise" prepared (something dumbish like try to sing something good that happened today) but now I'm confused if I should stick with the plan, I didn't really plan for you to go deep into explaining...


So I smiled defeated and tried to comply with what she wanted me to do.


10 minutes later, she was telling me that she's sorry but has no idea how to help me, that she's not prepared for a case like this, that she cannot help me and should try another therapist.


I had no connection to this woman. We've talked for less than 2 hours of our lives. But that just hurt, makes you feel like noone can help even if you try really hard to get help... And it really sucks.

 

[Hollowman]

Therapy can't help everyone unfortunately.

 

[VampQueen]

Ive had therapist that told me they couldn't help me anymore. I know the feeling. But if you think therapy can still be helpful to you, find another therapist. Not every therapist is going to match your needs and personality and that's the reality of it. Don't feel bad, don't feel like a failure. Keep going. If you're not on medication, you should really start seeing a pyschiatrist (doctor who prescribes meds. Not to be confused with a psychologist) If you think you've tried every drug under the sun and nothing works, do research on TMS (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) and even esketamine. It could be something that can give you that boost that you need.

Please DM if you ever need anything or if you want to talk more.

 

[turnoverover]

therapists are also frustrated with me and i don't have anything near the extent of DID. the next time i get some money im considering in seeing a therapist specializing in PTSD for war veterans or something idk. because i have cptsd and a lot of what i described is standard ptsd-seeker reaches therapy (that isnt stereotypical flashbacks if that makes sense) and they look at me like i have four heads. i think people that go into therapy are unusually colder and dismissive, so sorry.

 

[Cress]

Yeah a lot of what you have said is in line with the need to find the new therapist. Most therapists aren't great and aren't in the best position to be able to help you. It's totally normal to cycle through a few to find a exceptional one.

 

[Mebius]

Honestly therapy is such a useless meme advice. Its just your mindset bro! Years of constant negative reinforcement can be fixed bro! You can just delude yourself even though your life is shit bro!

 

[pomcustard]

I am so sorry you are going through this. People whose jobs are to help you are consistently fucking you over. I just hope you find someone who will understand what you're going through and help you through it. Good luck.

 

[amnesia999]

I had one therapist who "fired" me. She told me she couldn't do anything more for me, but didn't explain why, which sucked. So I know a bit about how you feel.

Therapists can be hard to find, but keep looking. What you want is someone who has your back. If you're lucky you can find one who's willing to go the extra mile for you. I have one right now who's smart, has a good memory, and has done things for me that went above and beyond what she needed to do. So if I can find one like that, so can you.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I got dropped by my therapist too. People still insist I can find another one but it was such a chore to arrange things with this one that I'd rather not have to go through all that again.

 

[AStruggle]

Have you tried looking for therapist online? Maybe outside of your place of residence?
As for your situation, this is so fucked up, I'm really sorry things are turning out for you this way and I sincerely hope it'll get better for you. I am somewhat disappointed in mental healthcare too. "Don't suffer in silence! Open up! Seek professional help!" my ass.

 

[iknewitallalong]

Wow the medical community has failed us badly. I'm actually a mental health researcher and active listener (believe it or not) and at Samaritans we are taught to never hang up on somebody that does not want to talk. So we just tell them we're there if they need us and have to wait for upto an hour for them o speak. I can't believe a THERAPIST and someone trained in medicine (which an active listener is NOT )would say something so incredibly invalidating to you guys.



I was 17 when my first and last therapist and psychiatrist told me they couldn't help me anymore ....I was feeling horrible and kicked his desk and that was enough for him to tell me to fuk off lol he ran out of the room as if I was such a ''dangerous'' person and told me I should go see his friend instead. It was one of the worst days of my life.


I'm so sorry you guys all I can say is this field has become such a cash grab lately especially after covid...please understand these people are horrible and thats not a reflection on you.

 

[Arahant]

I hear you loud and clear, friend.

If you would like, I would be happy to share the tools and techniques I have learned to safely regulate dissociation and process trauma.
I have a similar history to yours, except no DID here (plenty tulpas tho).
Am no professional, but have had good success with free self-therapy for trauma and dissociation.
Tag or DM me so I am sure to see it, if you want my input.

Wow the medical community has failed us badly. I'm actually a mental health researcher and active listener (believe it or not) and at Samaritans we are taught to never hang up on somebody that does not want to talk. So we just tell them we're there if they need us and have to wait for upto an hour for them o speak. I can't believe a THERAPIST and someone trained in medicine (which an active listener is NOT )would say something so incredibly invalidating to you guys.



I was 17 when my first and last therapist and psychiatrist told me they couldn't help me anymore ....I was feeling horrible and kicked his desk and that was enough for him to tell me to fuk off lol he ran out of the room as if I was such a ''dangerous'' person and told me I should go see his friend instead. It was one of the worst days of my life.


I'm so sorry you guys all I can say is this field has become such a cash grab lately especially after covid...please understand these people are horrible and thats not a reflection on you.

Thank you for writing this, and thank you for caring.
It's good to know true Samaritans exist.

 

[dopaminenthusiast]

Mostly just venting because I am really at the end of my line. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has some insight of something I'm missing I would really like advice. I'm sorry for whining.

Yesterday I had a session with my therapist where she basically spent the entire hour telling me about how she didn't know how to help me because I didn't communicate well enough or something. And that my phq-9 score had increased and it's basically maxed out now which obviously is a sign therapy isn't working even though that's a huge assumption and I never stated that I felt that way. I have trouble with shutting down and not being able to speak during therapy and I thought it would be different this time because I got a therapist that specializes in cptsd & DID but it's literally not everything is just the same. She kept pushing the idea that I should get a new therapist even though I had already told her there was nobody else in this niche taking clients. I would chalk this all up to her just being a shitty therapist but this has happened with literally every therapist I've seen. Like I've had to have this conversation 3 times now. I don't think I'm going to find "the right therapist" if I keep trying. I think I'm just fucked. They always ask the same questions too. Like "what made you come into therapy" "why do you keep coming in to sessions when you don't say anything" etc. It's like they're saying why are you even trying. Why haven't you given up yet. Why aren't you dead yet.

Last year I even tried to admit myself to the hospital and they literally told me it wasn't that bad and made me leave. But of course they still sent me a massive bill and everything. I used to have friends too but one of them did something to me that I literally can't make myself type out and when I tried to talk about it people told me they didn't want to hear about it and silently cut me out of everything. Nobody else knows that I exist and my family doesn't care about me either it's 1000 years of neglect over here. I tried to explain to my therapist that there's nothing left that is going to help me if therapy doesn't work but I don't think anything I said was understood. I almost wanted to blurt out that it she doesn't help me I'm going to buy a gun but I didn't want to get warded and also saying stuff like that goes against my morals. But it's really how I feel

My life is unbearable it literally hurts to think and I'm scared of like half of all normal things. I have to get high all the time to get through it but it makes me stupid and stops me from doing anything fulfilling with my life. I don't really want to die but I feel like I have to do it because all signs are pointing towards suicide as the only solution. I genuinely want help and I practically beg for it but nothing ever happens. I feel so stupid and insane that I keep trying when it never works. Like, this retard hasn't caught on yet to the fact that it's not going to get help. God is pointing and laughing. Idk. Can anyone hear me.lol?

you are seen and heard, and unfortunately many can relate with your story. it's specifically sad when you want to get help and ask for it but it's neglected. as someone said in the replies, therapy is not for everyone.
i do think there are amazing professionals that can literally save you but you have to find them, which is a waste of money, time and also tiring.
if you want or need, my pm's are open and I'm willing to read you talking shit about life because life is indeed shit